The Count's Secret Maid (5)
– Oh, apparently I understood everything wrong. I thought that I was one of those for whom you were ready to be responsible.
– Sounds too self-confident.
- Yes, apparently I thought too much.
Vincent chuckled again when he heard my grunt. But such laughter only infuriated me.
“I just wanted to make things clear.” If I am on the list of those for whom you feel responsible, then you can remove me from there. I don't need it.
- Why?
– Because I can cope just fine without your care.
- Too self-confident again.
- But it's true. I could handle everything even before I came here. At least I do my job perfectly. So don't worry about me and leave everything as it is.
-Aren't you praising yourself too much? Everything is more complicated than you think.
“Even if something goes wrong, dying is not such a big deal.”
“You take death lightly.”
– Because for me it’s simple.
- Why?
– I initially had no reason to live. I've never set goals. I continued to live only because my heart beat, my lungs took in air, and the sun continued to rise. There is nothing good in such a life.
No one would shed a tear if I died. Before coming here, death seemed more attractive to me than life. Even to this cozy and warm place I was sold for gold coins. One way or another, my life has acquired no value.
“You don't need a reason to live.” You're just living.
Vincent frowned, clearly disagreeing with my words.
– Some people are not worth living.
“I don’t think that a person who ran away from his family and took mortal risks grew up in love and care. You must have had a hard life to risk yourself so thoughtlessly.
-...
“Despite this, you are not what you say you are.”
He looked unhappy, and his voice showed obvious irritation. However, I couldn't take my eyes off him.
-You deserve to live.
– This is the first time I’ve heard something like this.
“Every time I think about it, I understand that you are much more desperate than I am.”
- I guess so.
My voice trembled at the last words. I smiled forcefully, although I understood that Vincent wouldn’t see it. It's okay, I'm fine. I won't get depressed like I used to. But every word he said destroyed my resolve.
- Live, no matter what.
Too cruel. The smile left my face. Even blindness did not prevent him from directing his gaze directly at me.
- Live happily.
He spoke firmly, and his words were imbued with sincerity, so palpable that I was ready to cry. I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears, but I was on the verge.
– Will I be able to?
- You can do it.
- To be happy?
- Yes. Very happy.
He answered with restraint, sighing periodically.
- Fine.
I lowered my head. I was so ashamed because my eyes were increasingly filled with tears. I tried not to blink so that the tears wouldn’t roll down my face, but it didn’t help - they were already flowing like a river.
“I’ll do it,” my voice gave out whiny notes.
What's so special about consolation? Sometimes a simple word is enough for this. No one ever told me that I deserve to live. I reproached myself for selfishness, because I continued to live, despite all the sacrifices in my family. I always hoped that the next day would come for me, but happiness seemed unattainable.
Vincent convinced me otherwise. His sincerity was addressed to me, and the realization of this touched me even more.
- Thank you.
-...
My gratitude could not be described in words. These were completely new feelings for me.
I covered my face with both hands. Along with an endless stream of tears, it was as if I was trying to get rid of all my worries, and they could no longer be stopped. I clenched my teeth, trying to suppress the sobs, but they still broke out.
Vincent, who is especially sensitive to surrounding sounds, realized that I was crying and turned his head in the other direction. He couldn't see me, but his attempt to pretend he didn't notice made me smile. I immediately pulled myself together and wiped away the remaining tears.
A strong wind blew, causing the flowers to dance. Vincent's golden hair also fluttered. The sunlight played on his curls, and this dazzling sight caught my eye. His pose was so noble, as if he himself emitted this light.
Can I do it too? Will I be able to shine as brightly? Will I have the strength to get out of this hell on my own?
– Will there come a time when I will be happy simply because I continue to live?
- It will come.
- Is it true? – I asked with a smile. Vincent seemed to think for a moment, and then turned to me. The expression on his face reflected a determination I didn’t understand. Suddenly he turned around and walked away. I was stunned. Because of his blindness, he was afraid to take extra steps without support, but now he moved surprisingly confidently on his own. Every step he took caused the flowers to disperse on both sides.
-Where are you going, sir?
“Stay where you are,” Vincent ordered, increasing the distance between us.
When he reached the end of the flower field, he finally stopped. I couldn't figure out what he was going to do, so I could only stare at him. And as if in response to my questioning glance, he turned around and slowly moved towards me.
He was walking.
He really walked on his own two feet.
He walked straight towards me without using a cane or anyone's help.
My eyes opened wide in surprise. I couldn't believe my eyes. A lot of incredible things happened to me, but it was something with something.
“Oh my God,” I muttered in shock. For a second I even forgot how to breathe. He walked closer without hesitation. The distance that seemed so great was reduced in an instant, and now I was constantly watching his outstretched hand.
He immediately grabbed my hand. I, still motionless, watched what was happening. Vincent smiled gently, as if he really saw the expression on my face.
– What do you think?
-Have you seen the light?
“You know, I just trained a lot,” Vincent’s smile became even wider.
– Of course I know, but you practiced walking with a cane. I didn't even realize that you were practicing walking on your own. Isn't it scary to fall?
- Scary. But I found a way to overcome it.
- Which?
“I thought that even if I fall, I can get up again.”
Is that all? It was hard to call this a way to overcome fears. But I knew how hard it was for Vincent to come to this conclusion.
“You once said that you can think of it as an adventure in the dark, and that you need to be brave.” It sounds stupid, but there is something to it. All you have to do is change your point of view. Even if you fall while walking when no one is around, you just need to get back to your feet and continue walking as if nothing had happened. The important thing is that you keep moving forward. Isn't that right?
- Yes. You're right.
“I will follow your advice, but you must do the same.”
-...
“You said you would stay with me.” No matter how much I pushed you away, you continued to be there. You always try to help others, you go to the end and, regardless of the result, you intend to stay with me.
Vincent suddenly lowered the corners of his lips and furrowed his brow, remembering the moment he heard those words. I burst out laughing.
- Time passes, but you still have a lot of arrogance.
– I can’t help it. Just the way it is,” Vincent replied.
I looked at him with a wide smile. He raised his eyebrows and laughed at my reproach. There was no trace left of the man who cowered in fear while sitting within four walls. He became stronger both in body and spirit. Such changes could not but please me.
“Isn’t it great that you were still alive until now?”
- Hm?
“You were even lucky to see something amazing.”
An unexpected statement. To talk about yourself as something “amazing” is unimaginable. But, as he said, I was very lucky, albeit for a short time, to witness his independent steps. I'm glad he didn't give up. This made me truly happy.
So this time I decided not to start an argument. The corners of my lips trembled, but I found the strength to smile and joyfully exclaimed: “Yes!”
***
Even though I had only been here for a short time, I had a lot to talk about with Vincent. We discussed and complained to each other about everything, remembered the past, even the most mundane stories, and focused on spending time together. But along with this, regret grew.
For the first time I felt sadness from an imminent separation.
This feeling was unfamiliar to me, so I shifted from foot to foot for no reason, waiting for Lenika, who, as usual, was supposed to bring the laundry.
Nevertheless, I was surprised by Lenika’s appearance, or rather, by her appearance. Her eyes and nose were very red.
- What's happened? – I asked hastily.
- Nothing. Nothing happened.
The words didn't match the expression on her face. When I asked the question again, she continued to shake her head. Tears welled up in her eyes, and I, assessing the seriousness of the situation, quickly led her around the corner between the outbuilding and the bushes. It seemed like a conversation was brewing, not for open areas.
We squatted next to each other. Lenika's face was filled with tears. For this to happen to the usually cheerful Lenika, something very serious had to happen. Without realizing it, she became my support from the very beginning of my stay in this mansion. So I wanted to help in any way I could, or at least listen to her.
– Could you tell me what happened? I don’t know if I can help in any way, but I’m ready to listen. Sometimes, if you share your problems with someone you trust, it becomes easier.
- …
- Everything is fine. I will keep your secret, no matter what it is.
Lenika hesitated, but I was ready to wait. After a long pause, she spoke.
“A few days ago, a maid and a servant disappeared.
- Lost? – I asked worriedly.
“Yes,” Lenika nodded affirmatively. “They were lovers and met secretly from everyone.
- What next?
- But... they were caught.
- How?
“It looks like they met at night.” And at their last meeting, Isabella found them with the butler.
I opened my eyes. A meeting between a man and a woman in the middle of the night is not something strange, but if such meetings happened regularly, then one could think too much. Lenika nodded again, her face becoming even gloomier, which only confirmed my suspicions.
- That's it. In such a situation they should not have been seen under any circumstances,” Lenika continued.
-...
- They were both punished. One of them was even kicked out of the mansion.
So they escaped under the cover of darkness. Lenika, as if reading my thoughts on her perplexed face, shook her head negatively.
- No. They disappeared, but not of their own free will.
- What do you mean?
Lenika looked back at me, frowning because the point was getting to me too slowly. His eyes were still swollen and his nose was still red. Now, if you look closely, her cheeks are flushed with color. But even so, the expression on her face facing me was still hard.