The Count's Secret Maid (4)
- I'm not leaving you. I just want to hide it in a safe place for a while.
- This means quitting.
- I'm not leaving you.
I do not believe in that. I don't believe it. What if he sends me away and forgets? What if he just wants to send me away?
I was not convinced by his words, I did not believe him. He wanted to get rid of me from the very beginning. Maybe he's just going to use this opportunity to not see me again. That's how little servants are worth to aristocrats.
But I could not disobey the order. I knew it, and I didn't like it at all. I didn't want to be alone. I shook my head and tried to free myself from his grip. I didn't want to listen to him anymore.
But he only squeezed my hand tighter when I tried to pull away, and pulled me towards him. The distance between us decreased and I fell into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me, reaching behind my back, and hugged me as tightly as he could.
I buried my face in his chest. I could hear his heart beating, echoing in my ears. I was shaking with excitement. And him too.
“Trust me, I won’t leave you,” he whispered. “I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore, but it will be difficult.” So I'm going to make sure that at least you don't get dragged into this, at least not for now. I can't protect you while you're near me, so I'm going to... Send you to safety.
-...
“I’ll bring you back, I promise.”
-...
- I promise.
His voice trembled. As if to calm me down, he made me a promise.
Vincent was right. If the man who stabbed Lucas saw me, then I'm in danger. It would be better to live far away than to die here. He's trying to protect me. Knowing this, knowing his true intentions, I can no longer refuse.
– Remember how you asked me to stay with you?
-... Yes.
- Don't forget about it.
His face distorted at my words. Then the corners of his mouth lifted and a faint laugh escaped. He grabbed me again, hugging me tightly.
“You can’t forget me.”
- Fine.
“If you do this, I will haunt you for the rest of your life and even after death.”
- Yes.
Laughter rang in my ears. I emphasized my words again, not wanting him to take it as a joke.
- I'm serious.
- I know.
With these words, Vincent turned away. The breeze blew from the window, ruffling his hair. I leaned my face against his chest again. I tried not to blink, afraid my tears would wet his shirt.
We stayed like that for a while. I had a feeling that we were really saying goodbye.
* * *
Preparations went quickly. Vincent instructed Isabella to see to it that I was taken to the villa in Novella as quickly as possible.
I had no choice but to look after him as usual or sit in my room. Ethan hadn't visited since that day, and the mansion seemed dead and empty without Lucas.
Perhaps that's why I was so distracted. I was staring blankly out the window, clutching the mop I was using to wash the floor, when Vincent spoke.
- Let's take a walk.
It was an unexpected offer. Sensing my puzzled look, he added: “The weather is nice today.” Recently, Vincent seemed to be feeling better and leading a normal life.
- Don't you want to?
- Not at all. Let's go.
I finished mopping the floor and put away the cleaning equipment. Helping him get ready to go out, I brought his cane. He recently started practicing walking on his own with a cane. He uses it to probe and understand his surroundings. But today, when I handed him the cane, he put it aside and extended his hand.
- Do you want something?
“I need you to support me.”
- I?
- Yes, you.
He clenched and unclenched his hand, as if urging me to quickly take it, and I gladly did so.
As I led him by the hand, I remembered our walks in the past. I haven't been able to go for a walk lately, let alone read a book. And there was certainly no time to have a tea party.
– Every time we walk in the forest.
“This is the only place we can go.”
- I know.
He looked ahead absentmindedly. Even though he couldn't see, he seemed to enjoy the fresh air, touching objects and taking in sounds as we walked.
As we walked along the path leading deep into the forest, I asked.
– What is at the end of this path?
- Wall.
- That's all?
- That's all.
- Nothing but a wall...
“Even if I go this far, in the end I will only see a wall,” I muttered, moving my lips slightly. Vincent was blind but brave, and we walked together through all sorts of difficulties, but at the end of the road there was a wall. This looked like my future.
I felt depressed and lowered my head. We stood in silence for some time, and then, out of the blue, he pulled my hand.
- Let's go back to the place where we were recently.
- Which?
- To that place that, according to you, was so beautiful that you wanted to jump into it as if into water.
A beautiful place that makes you want to plunge into it...
– That white flower field?
Vincent nodded.
- Do you remember where it is?
- Approximately.
- Then let's go.
There was impatience in his voice, but I was a little doubtful. I remembered how Lucas took us there. I could still see his face, so excitedly showing me this place, and the moment when his face became distorted.
I felt that I was beginning to choke again from fear. When I didn't answer, Vincent squeezed my hand.
- Calm down.
- Ha-ah, but...
“He brought you there because he wanted you to be happy.” So that even after he leaves, you can go to that place and calm down. I want you to accept his feelings.
- How do you know this?
- It's in his spirit.
Vincent smiled faintly. It was a gentle smile. His face became pleasant to look at after he gained weight.
- Let's go. I can't wait anymore.
- Yes, good.
In the end, his words convinced me. I squeezed his hand tightly and turned around. My heavy steps were slow, and I felt strangely excited and afraid, even though we were just about to see a field of flowers deep in the forest. So I slowed down more and more, but he followed me without complaint.
We walked for a long time through the forest without a path. I stepped over branches and walked on uneven ground. I had to search my memory to remember where the passage was.
As I went deeper into the forest, I saw a field of white flowers, still fresh and beautiful, as if time had stood still.
- We have arrived.
- I know. The grass here smells terrible.
- She usually smells nice.
At my remark, he just shrugged his shoulders. He had such an arrogant look, as if saying who am I to argue with his opinion? The familiar behavior made me calm down. I laughed briefly and followed him into the flower field.
The petals fluttered in the wind. It was so beautiful, it looked like it was snowing. I bowed my head, and the petals, lifted by the wind, fell like snowflakes.
- Something fell.
- These are petals. They circle like snowflakes.
Vincent brushed the petals off my shoulders and head. His stone face was devoid of any emotion. Yes, he is so emotionless.
– At such moments you need to admire beauty.
- Beauty?
- Yes. It's very beautiful.
- Well, if you say so, then I am delighted.
I looked at him, perplexed. He still looked impenetrable. Vincent did not look around, did not enjoy the surroundings and sensations, as he did when he walked along the forest path. And then I realized that he didn’t really want to be here.
“You don’t mean to say that you came here for me, do you?”
“Ever since that day, you don’t seem to be feeling well.”
- Why?
I didn't ask why he thought I was feeling bad. I wanted to know why he was so polite. Why does he care? It's not like him at all.
Vincent slowly let go of our clasped hands and turned his face, his gaze fixed on me, although I knew he was blind. I saw my reflection in his emerald eyes. His pupils were motionless, as if he saw me standing a step away from him.
My bangs, which covered my eyes from his gaze, fluttered in the wind. I was confused. White petals fell from the sky and fell on the ground between us.
-Are you afraid? – he asked.
Normally I would ask, “What do you mean?”
But I knew what he meant.
- Yes, I'm scared.
- Me too.
I opened my eyes in surprise, expecting him to laugh at my cowardice, but his answer was unexpected.
He laughed briefly, as if he knew about my embarrassment.
– You were speechless again due to embarrassment.
-...
As he said, I became even more embarrassed and fell silent.
He stopped laughing and extended his hand. A white petal fell onto his palm. He picked it up, twirled it in his hands, then turned it around again and let it fly into the wind. A petal fell on my hand and tickled my skin.
“I may have to announce my condition soon.” There comes a time when you have to get used to the fact that someone might stab or shoot me. Perhaps this is for the best, because sometimes words hurt more.
-...
“I knew I couldn’t live like this forever.” I'm a count, and I can't sit in my room all the time. I have many people for whom I am responsible. But it's not easy to accept, and it's scary. Even now I shudder to think that I will have to go out in public. Am I not pathetic?
-...No, that's not true.
- Well, I can’t help it, even if it’s a pity, because I am who I am.
The words sounded casual, but their meaning was not at all clear. I can't even imagine the weight of responsibility he bore. He is a tall man, so tall that I have to tilt my head back to look at his face. In addition, his body became stronger than before.
Unlike me, who couldn't live normally after the incident with Lucas, Vincent was in good shape. In fact, he acted as if he had known for a long time that this would happen. I knew that lately he had been preparing to leave his room. He ate alone, washed, changed clothes, stood and walked independently, using a cane.
He trained to live alone.
Of course, even so, I or the other maids will take care of him. But there are things you need to do on your own. He will have to face those he cannot see and find out what they are really thinking. He was preparing for this.
I wasn't the only one who was afraid, but no matter how scared it is, he can't back down, which is why Vincent is working so hard now and preparing so desperately.
– If this is too difficult for you, just let go of one of the worries.
-What are you talking about?
“You won’t have to work so hard for me.”
“Who said I’m trying so hard?”
He bowed his head as if he hadn’t heard me, but I saw his face contort slightly. Why do we constantly strive to ruin each other's mood when everything is going well?