Crazy owner (10)
- There is no turning back. No matter how hard I try, nothing can change. How can you live in this hell?
The round figure rose. The sheet he was wrapped in fell away, revealing his face. My eyes widened in surprise. His forehead was wounded.
- Your forehead...
He caught my hand as I reached for him. With his other hand he grabbed my face and turned me towards him. My long bangs rode up.
I instinctively pushed him away. Don't do this! No need!
- Let go!
- Look at me!
I tried to break free, but he held me tightly. In the process of struggling, I collapsed on my back on the bed. Vincent quickly climbed on top of me and resolutely blocked my movements.
My bangs were disheveled and tangled, revealing my face. “Don't look. Please don't look at me." I hit him in the face and shoulders, trying to push him away, but it was no use. Vincent didn't let me go.
His dry fingers grabbed my hair. I groaned in pain, and he, bringing his face closer, shouted:
- I said, look!
I opened my eyes and turned to him.
We both breathed shakily, looking at each other. When I looked into his dull emerald eyes, I remembered that he was blind.
“Yes, he doesn’t see me. He can't." A feeling of relief washed over me.
“How do you think I can live with this?” Why should I trust you? Do you think you can understand me? Do you know what it’s like to not see anything and be afraid of everyone around you? Will they help me or harm me? Will they protect or kill? How am I supposed to find out?!
His bloodshot eyes were full of rage. The hand holding my face was shaking. But I was no longer scared, just sad.
“I lost this life,” he said, “There is nothing for me anymore.”
Vincent looked devastated.
- If you try, you can...
He snorted. “Is that all you can tell me?” – read in his disappointed look.
- “Cheer up, you can do it, you can overcome this if you try.” I don't want to hear this nonsense anymore. These are just words. It's easy to talk when your vision is fine. And my eyes will never be able to see again!
I heard his anger in every word and syllable, and fear was visible in his hasty breathing.
– So is there any point in trying? What can I do in this state?
His face distorted. He looked sad. Like a child left all alone. I could only guess about his sadness, but I was not able to understand him. He was right. After all, a sighted person cannot know what it is like to be blind.
- So what now? Are you going to die like this, all alone?
- Why not? If the choice is between life and death, then I can simply choose death.
- Yes, that's true.
-...
I raised my hand and touched the back of his hand holding my face. His hand was still cold.
– You have a choice.
I could have said something banal, but I didn’t. His pain was too deep. I should stop - it's too presumptuous of me to console him.
– Reality is not a fairy tale. They say that God gives everyone only those trials that we are able to overcome, but I don’t believe in that. If it's too hard, we can only choose to keep fighting or give up. This is completely our right. You control this freedom yourself, so there is nothing I can do about it.
-...
“Just warn me when you decide to die.” I don't want to suddenly find your lifeless body in the room.
I will need time to prepare.
I pulled his hand away from my face and pushed him in the chest. This time they released me easily and I got out of bed.
The moonlight outside the window was so bright. I'd like to show it to Vincent. But even if I open the curtains, this light will not reach him...
- Until then, I will stay with you.
Turning around, I saw Vincent with a blank expression on his face.
- I'm not afraid. You can kill me whenever you want. As I said, no one will come to avenge my death, so there is no reason to worry.
-...
- And one more thing, sir, you are mistaken. Sometimes it’s better not to see this world at all, because it can be terrifying.
Like my mother, who abandoned her children. Like my brothers and sisters, dying of hunger and poverty, beaten or sold into brothels by their own father.
Just like my life.
“You have a lot, sir,” I said, “Why don’t you try to enjoy this life at least a little before you die?” So as not to live tomorrow in vain.
- It's all useless...
“I'm not asking you to act right now. Just imagine that this is the last time and try. Start with small things. For example, eat breakfast on time, take a warm bath. Or put on new clothes, leave your room and take a short walk.
-...
“And if you get scared, you can run away again.” You have a place to hide. It costs nothing to stay in this room for a while, calm down and try again. You have money and power. And such a huge mansion with people who care about you. So why are you afraid?
– I'm afraid... of all this. Money, power, attention to me and even this mansion.
- It's better than having nothing.
"At least you can escape."
- I think you are mistaken. Living without all this is even worse.
I have seen blind people like him: a newborn who turned out to be blind and abandoned by his parents; an elderly man whose eyes had to be gouged out due to illness; a young head of a family who lost his sight in an accident and still has to support his family. They all can't curl up in a cozy room like he can.
To survive, they must work. For them, hunger is worse than blindness. They have to endure neglect, criticism and ridicule in order to breathe another day.
Everyone lives in hell.
Some people are poor, some have the wrong parents. There are those who have had an accident. Anyone can suddenly stop seeing meaning in life.
– You just have to change a little yourself and changes will pour into your life. Like a light shining in this dark room.
-...
– Do you know how beautiful the moon is in the sky now?
“So much so that I would like to show it to you.” Maybe then you would stop thinking about death.
Even after hearing my words, Vincent did not raise his head. He buried himself in the sheets again. I reached out and lifted his face. A ray of light looked into Vincent's dull emerald eyes.
So beautiful.
His eyes sparkled with moonlight.
I've never been this close to someone before. I had to keep my head down, avoiding other people's gazes, because everyone said that my face was disgusting.
Alicia, the third sister, looked at me with disgust. Even my father clicked his tongue at the sight of my face. I was afraid to meet their gaze, so I never cut my bangs. I thought that long hair would at least hide my ugliness a little.
But now.
- Don't lose heart.
My heart was pounding. It's okay, he doesn't see me anyway, I can be honest. So, for the first time, I found myself face to face with someone. Even too close.
As much as his feelings can reach me, I can convey mine.
- This is reality.
I stroked his reddened forehead. The skin was covered with abrasions and bruises. I wondered if he had hit his forehead against the wall to finally wake up from his nightmares. Maybe he was testing how real everything around him was.
- Be brave.
I know you won't like it, but it's worth a try. In any case, for me there is no turning back - I am sold to this place. And I can either live here or die.
Next to this blind gentleman.
In secret.
Confusion flashed in his emerald eyes, then he slowly, with trembling fingertips, cupped my face. The gaze slowly focused on me.
Our eyes met.
- You...
And then he pulled my face to the side.
"Oh?"
In an instant, the vision blurred and the body fell backward. A sharp, familiar pain pierced the back of my head.
Boom!
"…What the hell?"
I lay on the floor, trying to come to my senses. I'm in this situation again.
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been talking too much lately,” Vincent said casually.
Finally gathering my strength, I stood up. Vincent was still lying in bed with the sheets still on. But he no longer trembled.
“Didn’t I tell you to watch your language?”
And he even calmly warned.
He looked normal again, and I realized what was happening.
– Be more careful next time.
-...I'll be careful.
So his bad temper returned.
I rubbed the back of my head, which I had hit on the floor, and stared at his calm face. He narrowed his eyes.
“Stop looking at me before I tear your eyes out.”
He always felt good about such things. I heeded his warning and looked away. My energy is gone. Dropping my shoulders, I wiped my face.
I stood up, looking at him with his face buried in the pillow, and took a step towards the door.
-Where are you going?
– I’m going back to my room.
- Why?
- What?
“You said you would stay until I calmed down.”
– I think you are already calm enough.
- Not at all. My heart is still racing with fear. So won't you stay by my side?
-...
“No, I just said a few nice words out of politeness!” – I almost said, but remembering who was in front of me, I decided to remain silent.
- Stay here until I fall asleep.
“Yes, yes,” I answered forcedly, and he frowned.
I sank back down to the floor, ignoring him, and stared at the moon through the gap in the curtains. In my mind I imagined beating him.
Calm breathing was heard behind him. I sat and listened to him for a long time.