Not since the night Cecelia Clayton had interrupted their session when both she and he had forcibly suppressed something explosive. Ilex didn't bring up what he was going to say that night again.
But Tilia felt it. He carried this hell within himself, which he was about to unleash on her, keeping it in his chest all winter.
Even during the final stages of their study sessions or late-night Ontario lessons, his emotions were as clear as glass to her.
What exactly was he hiding?
If she asked him this at the back gate of the dorm, what answer would he give?
Even in her state of insomnia, this thought crossed her mind from time to time, but the conclusion was always the same.
I don't know. I can't understand. His true feelings were always hidden, as if hidden behind a misty forest.
Of course, part of the blame lay with Tilia herself, who gave up trying to figure it out every time the outlines of his feelings became faint.
Caught up in preparation for the rapidly approaching final exams and subsequent interviews, she was too sleep deprived to think about things not related to her pressing studies.
If I find Judy, I'll have to ask how Ilex Davenport is doing, she thought. After spending almost half a year together, not counting sleep time, she decided that it was only natural to ask about it and quickened her pace.
And suddenly a question came into her mind that she had never thought about before.
Will she really never see Ilex again after graduating from the academy?
Although she intended to stay in touch with Judy even after leaving for Ontario, things were different with Ilex. The only reason they became so close was because of an interview at the Ontario Foreign Affairs Consulate.
This meant that if she graduated from the academy and got this position, she would no longer have a reason to see him.
They will become strangers with no unfinished business left. People who have no reason to meet anymore.
As soon as this thought took shape in words, she became acutely aware of the reality of complete separation.
The words she wanted to hear would forever be buried in silence. The questions she wanted to ask would disappear like fog in the morning sun.
Even before spring comes, they will become complete strangers to each other.
Calling it goodbye seemed ridiculous. Graduation and immigration have been Tilia's dreams for half of her life. How could such fragile feelings arise when she was on the verge of achieving them?
Even as she mocked herself, she couldn't rid herself of the thought that she would never see Ilex Davenport again.
Why did she decide that he would always help her, that he would always be by her side?
This wasn't a complaint. It was really because of Ilex Davenport himself.
Because he continued to show her kindness. Because he made his presence felt like a given.
Thus, the feeling of loss that filled her chest was entirely due to his behavior...
While Tilia was trying to find an excuse, unable to move on, she heard this:
- Stop it, stop it!
A loud scream broke the silence nearby.
The noise interrupted her train of thought and she turned her head towards the sound. It was near the pergola* behind the main academy building. From there came turmoil and frantic screams.
(*P.P. Pergola (Italian pergola from Latin pergula - canopy, extension) - in landscape gardening art - a canopy originally made of climbing plants to protect a passage or terrace from the scorching sun. The pergola support consists of repeating sections connected to each other by transverse beams. The pergola can be either a separate structure or part buildings.)
“Who could start a fight on the day of the second exam?”
The sounds of punches and insistent voices trying to stop the fight made Tilia smirk.
"Whoever it is, they are incredibly stupid bastards..."
- Ilex, stop it!
The moment she heard the name supposedly belonging to the fool, her face froze.
- Ilex Davenport!
His name came again, this time more clearly. Without hesitation, Tilia rushed towards the source of the voice.
Breathing heavily, she turned the corner, and the sight that opened made her freeze in place.
- I told you.
Ilex relentlessly beat the man, who was already covered in blood.
Among the murmurs of the audience, only his quiet, soul-chilling voice reached her ears.
“If you say that name again with your dirty mouth, I will make sure you won’t be able to speak anymore.”
A dull thud. With the next strong blow, blood sprayed again.
Although the face was swollen and unrecognizable, it was not difficult to identify the man being beaten.
Mackenzie Fitz. Few people had such a long face.
Why does Ilex beat up Mackenzie Fitz?
Unable to comprehend what was happening, Tilia froze, her mind blank. There was a whisper of bewilderment behind her that finally reached her ears.
- Is he going to kill him?
- Someone call for help! This can be very bad!
When Tilia turned her head, she saw the frightened faces of the students. One of them ran away, apparently to call the guards.
No, this can't be true. Tilia's mind, which had been frozen, began to work quickly.
The second final exam took place, but the graduation itself was not yet completed. No matter how exceptional someone's exam results were, creating a disturbance on school grounds during the assessment period could result in disciplinary action. In the worst case scenario, this could lead to cancellation of graduation, expulsion or even expulsion.
- Stop!
Realizing this, Tilia without hesitation rushed into the thick of the fight.
- Stop it, Ilex Davenport!
She managed to grab Ilex's hand, who was mindlessly throwing punches.
At first, like a mad dog, he furiously tried to shake off the one who dared to grab him. But the next moment, as if recognizing who it was, he suddenly froze.
Breathing heavily, his blue-gray eyes fluttered as he stared at the woman holding his hand.
- Do you want to be expelled?
Looking directly at him, Tilia whispered in a firm, almost reproachful tone.
- Stop being stupid. Come with me now.
Ignoring the blood on her hands, she grabbed him and dragged him away from the fight.
- Take Mackenzie Fitz to the infirmary.
Pointing to the beaten and twitching figure, she commanded one of the stunned spectators.
- Understood? You will take him there.
- Y-yes.
Having received a clear answer, she quickly left the scene, as if fleeing the scene of a crime.
Following her was Ilex, who had just been furious, passively, like a dog being led on a leash by someone half his size.
***
-Are you crazy?
As soon as the door closed, Tilia screamed, unable to hide her excitement.
- What were you thinking about, striking such blows? Do you think academia is some kind of corner of the market?
She dragged him into his room. Realizing that the blood on his hands was not someone else's, but his own, Tilia hastily brought him here, to a place where there were no prying eyes and where first aid could be available.
- Do you know that you haven't finished your studies yet? Do you want to be expelled after studying for your entire last semester?
Walking into his luxurious single dorm room, Tilia vented her frustrations.
She didn't even know why she was so upset. Perhaps it wasn't the fight or the injuries, but the way he casually wiped the blood off his hands with a towel, like it was nothing.
- Ilex Davenport.
She called him by name as he tossed the bloody towel towards the bathroom with an indifferent expression on his face.
Although she brought him here to treat his wounds, she found herself losing the desire to care for him. She was not the type to coddle someone who remained indifferent even after seeing his broken fists.
-...Why did you hit him?
She asked, sighing softly as she looked at him. Perhaps after hearing the arguments, she will be able to understand better.
- Because he was rude.
The answer she received made her regret that she had even asked the question.
“He was arrogant and overstepped his bounds, so I hit him.”
Tilia couldn't help but doubt her hearing. Without realizing it, she asked again:
- Are you... eleven years old or what!?
Ilex snorted at her comment and collapsed on the bed. Placing his hands behind his head, he said lazily:
- Well, you're good. You're already an adult.
She was too stunned to answer. For someone who could act mature, he sometimes became ridiculously childish.
At such moments, Tilia could do nothing but laugh bitterly and move away from him.
As she took a few steps back in irritation, muttering that she was leaving, something caught her attention.
It was a familiar brass doorknob.
The same bathroom doorknob that she had tried so hard to open last semester.