As time passed quickly, there was a recurring event in the Empress's palace.
“Your Majesty, the wife has requested an interview.”
“What’s the matter this time?”
“She wants to share some of her newly acquired sweets with you.”
“Tell her I'm busy.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Yasiris listened to the sound of fading footsteps, then wiped her eyes with her hand.
It has been a week since Ronelia was appointed Empress.
The stress of her almost daily visits in place of the Emperor was overwhelming.
Despite her title, Yasiris complied with Runelia's requests during the first few days.
Reading together, drinking tea, walking, chatting… she could tolerate Ronelia coming up with all sorts of reasons to visit, but what followed those visits was the real issue.
“Hoo…”
Yasiris massaged the muscles at the back of her neck tiredly.
She usually didn't get angry quickly, and she found Runelia's cunning provocations particularly annoying.
It was the condescending attitude that bothered her.
Those half-closed, arrogant blue eyes that squirmed arrogantly were unbearably annoying.
Although Kazan's relationship with Runelia didn't mean much to her, she felt an irrational desire to confront her remarks.
She has suffered many times from the dilemma of defending her relationship with her enemy or becoming an object of ridicule.
She swore never to let Ronelia enter the Empress's palace again…
“The Emperor has arrived”
“This is not helpful at all.”
“Your Majesty?”
"It doesn't matter.
Is he here now?"
“Yes, Your Majesty”
Yasiris closed the book she had opened.
She hid the title, “Introduction to Herbology,” put it back on the shelf, and directed a question toward the door.
“Did he come with Lady Runelia?”
“Why do you ask that?”
It was not the maid who answered her.
Kazan, without waiting for permission, opened the door and looked at her.
“Ronelia said she got along well with you.
Isn’t that so?”
“…the standard of good understanding varies from person to person.”
Quickly managing her expression, Yasiris straightened up and asked, “What brings you here?”
“I heard you've barely slept lately.”
She stopped, surprised.
Yasiris pressed her lips together and stared at him silently.
Her frustration with his increasingly intrusive actions, which now encroached on her sleeping hours, was palpable.
“Did my maid say that?”
“Is this what matters now?
The problem is that you have once again ignored the Imperial Decree and neglected your own well-being.”
Kazan took a step closer to Yasiris.
Although her fingers were shaking, she stood her ground and spoke in a calm, firm voice.
“I'm not unable to sleep, I just can't”
“Then you should visit the royal doctor.
You did not refuse to visit him either.”
“There is nothing wrong with my health, why should I present my body to the doctor?”
“That's a boring joke, Empress.
I'm talking about your sleep cycle now, you know.”
Kazan tilted his head slightly, and paused for a moment.
“It's not like I'm asking you to abandon your people.”
Once again, Yasiris bit her lip at the mention of hostages.
How important was her body to the Emperor?
What's wrong with not getting enough sleep?
Yet he treats her with disdain.
Yasiris was already nervous, and wanted to confront Kazan.
If he cared so much about her body, why wouldn't he care about the person inhabiting it?
She wanted to scream, why was her dear body being treated so indifferently?
But saying that would make it seem like she was seeking Kazan's affection.
Since there was nothing terrible like this, I swallowed all the complaints silently.
This was also exhausting.
“I will see the doctor”
In the end, Yasaris put compliance into words.
There was no reason to refuse such a simple examination, even if she had to endure conversations with the Emperor.
Just a little, just a little, was bothering her all the time.
“Okay.
Tell me the results.”
“Yes, Your Majesty”
Yasiris replied with disappointed eyes.
She actually felt exhausted at the thought of seeing a doctor who was so hostile toward her.
There's clearly something wrong with her body...but she thinks it's okay.
Yasiris realized it the next day in a way that was worse than it had been, she was far from okay.
“Your Majesty, the results have arrived.”
Her heart trembled.
Yasiris stared at the man in front of her expressionlessly, unable to believe what she had just heard.
Dr.
Lavaro Zajac, the royal doctor she trusted, was not the type to speak lightly, yet she opened her mouth without thinking.
“This is a very big joke.”
“Do I look like I'm joking now?”
At the somewhat annoying question, Yasiris clenched her fist.
More than the doctor's rudeness, the weight of the truth she had just heard was hitting her hard.
Pregnant...
Am I pregnant?
Honestly, she's been feeling symptoms lately.
Her menstrual cycle had stopped, and she often felt nauseous during meals.
Although she was suffering from extreme fatigue and headaches, she could not sleep comfortably.
But her menstrual cycle was always irregular due to stress, so she didn't pay much attention to it.
She dismissed the other symptoms as merely a result of the troubling behavior between Kazan and Runelia.
She cannot be pregnant.
This cannot be so...
“How could this happen?”
“I must ask Your Majesty, did you forget to take your medicine?”
“I took it as it was delivered to me, so why do you ask?”
One of the maids was a relative of Dr.
Lavaro Zajac.
Yasaris was taking birth control pills regularly through her, so she couldn't understand why she was pregnant.
This had to happen when Runelia entered recently.
As Yasiris rubbed her stomach harshly, Lavaro Zajac frowned as if annoyed.
“It looks like Peony either made a mistake or forgot to adjust the dose.
This is getting annoying.”
“This is not something that can be dismissed as mere inconvenience!”
“So what do we do?
Her Majesty the Empress is already carrying a child.”
Yasiris bit her lip.
The fact that she was carrying her enemy's child, and was now receiving such treatment from a doctor he worked for, only complicated her feelings further.
What should you do now?
What should you say to the Emperor, and what position should you take in the future?
The pregnancy, which would have been good news for an ordinary empress, brought nothing but pain to Issaris.
If word spread that she was pregnant, countless problems would arise.
Her husband's cold reaction was predictable.
The concubine's jealousy will flare up like wildfire.
The nobles will direct their scrutiny and opposition towards her.
Aside from all this, Yasiris herself doubted her ability to love the child like a mother.
If this life does not receive any blessing from anyone, is it really worthy of being born?
As Yasiris pondered this pure question, cold words penetrated her thoughts.
“Get rid of him”
Suddenly, Yasiris trembled, and turned her gaze towards Dr.
Lavaro Zajac.
His cold face seemed to penetrate her wandering thoughts, burrowing itself into her vision.
“It's a child that Your Majesty the Empress doesn't want anyway, isn't it?
I can prepare a potion to get rid of him.”
“Wait, isn't this too hasty?”
“So, are you going to have the baby?”
Yasiris was silent.
Logically, she knew that terminating the pregnancy was the right choice, but hearing it outright stirred up hesitation within her.
But still, it's her baby.
It's a life I've truly embraced.
However, it still...
Yasiris continued to gently caress her flat stomach several times.
Although unintentional, the new life stirring within her caught her emotions.
“…I need a few days to think.”
“That's fine, but remember.
No one would welcome Her Majesty the Empress giving birth to a prince.
I am no exception.”
Yasiris paused, holding her breath at Dr.
Lavarro's stifling words, then exhaled.
Her throat was dry, and she felt suffocated inside.
She longed to see the open world outside, so she turned her gaze towards the window, only to find it blocked by curtains.
Every corner of the palace felt like a prison.
Ever since she arrived in the Ozevia Empire, this place had always made her breath difficult.
It was natural for her husband to also treat her as a stranger.
Even if she was lucky enough to return to Beren, there would be no one to warmly welcome the estranged princess there either.
Yasiris crossed her arms over her stomach, covering herself with her opposite arm.
She hugged herself to ward off the cold loneliness, and spoke slowly.
"I know.
If I'm not welcomed myself, having my baby won't make much difference," she said in a low voice.
The doctor nodded knowingly at her careful assessment of her condition.
“Then...”
“But, Dr.
Lafaro.”
Yasiris turned her tired eyes to Dr.
Lavarro.
Amid the swamp of gloomy thoughts that briefly passed through her mind, a faint gleam of unobscured light shone.
“We can't hurt an innocent life, can we?
Especially a child who has never seen the light of the world.”
I have already lost many people.
Lovers, dear friends, superficial nobles, and faceless commoners...
Unable to protect them, she let them slip through her hands.
So now, what she could protect, she wanted to protect to the best of her ability.
This was her quest all along.