Maxi was stunned.
The rope was a piece of an ornament she had given him almost four years ago.
It was an ornament for his sword belt, an impulsive purchase while wandering the market.
Feeling her throat tighten, she murmured in a shaky voice, “I didn’t think… you’d still have this.”
Riftan held the bag and kept his gaze on the ground.
“I just carried it out of habit,” he said, defensively.
The excuse seemed unconvincing even to him, as his cheeks became even redder.
He muttered something under his breath and quickened his pace.
Maxi instinctively grabbed his cloak.
“B-But… you came looking for it as soon as you noticed it was missing.”
Riftan's face twitched slightly, but he didn't respond and continued walking.
Maxi bit her lip as she followed him, not understanding why he was trying to hide such an obvious truth, nor why she felt compelled to make him admit it.
Maybe it was because of his stubborn attempt to build a wall between them.
Seeing him compulsively hide his true feelings was exhausting.
It was unbearable to treat them as strangers.
Maxi wanted to break down his defenses; I wanted the old Riftan back.
Suddenly, the pent-up feelings exploded, and she tugged at his clothes.
The emotions he had suppressed until then came to the surface all at once.
"You've been keeping it, haven't you?
Y-You kept it with you...
even though it's in ruins."
Riftan stopped abruptly and turned around.
"What do you want to hear from me?
What do you want to confirm?
Wasn't appearing vulnerable to you enough?"
Maxi recoiled at his bitter tone.
With his self-control lost, Riftan began to vent.
"As soon as I heard that you had left Nornui, I abandoned everything to see you.
My only concern was you, even though I feigned indifference.
But you already know that.
I already told you that the mere idea of you getting hurt terrifies me, that I am on the verge of madness with worry.
Are you still not satisfied with that?"
The anguish and shame in his eyes made them look like dark onyx.
He looked at the bag in his hands, and his lips twisted into a self-deprecating smile.
"Yes, I still have it.
But so what?
Why does it matter when you don't even remember giving it to me?
Don't you agree?"
Maxi went to reflexively deny it, before realizing he was right; she didn't recognize the ornament right away.
She pressed her lips together.
Riftan's fingers tightened on the bag.
“And yet I…”
Closing his mouth, he looked at his fist.
She raised her arm as if to throw the bag away, but froze.
Static like a statue, Riftan stood there for a long time, looking at the snowy field.
In the end, he couldn't bring himself to do it and slowly lowered his arm.
When he turned to face her, all Maxi could see was a vulnerable little boy.
She felt her eyes burn.
This was what he was trying to hide behind his cold armor.
“Tell me something,” he said abruptly.
“Three years ago, when I said I wouldn’t wait for you“”
He stopped as if holding back his emotions.
Looking away, his eyes fixed on the soldiers carrying the carts.
For a moment, Maxi was afraid he would end the conversation there and leave.
Always fearful of revealing his inner feelings, she knew he always chose to run away from any situation that required him to show his true self.
But this was their last meeting before they separated.
That, at least, seemed to count for something.
With defenses crumbling, Riftan turned to Maxi once more.
His voice shook as he spoke.
“Did you know… I wasn’t serious?”
Maxi's lips opened in surprise.
Now, she was the one who wanted to run away.
Before she could respond, Riftan continued bitterly, "When I said I wouldn't wait for you any longer, you turned your back and walked away.
I kept wondering if you knew I wasn't serious, or if you still chose to leave believing that I was."
A flurry of snow swept past them.
Maxi looked at him with pained eyes, speechless.
After a moment of heavy silence, Riftan muttered, “I can’t decide which is more miserable.”The wind began to increase.
The memory of that day seemed to take them back to that moment.
But this time, it was Riftan who turned around.
She watched him return to the knights, her gaze fixed on his figure.
When Rem poked her back, she forced herself to look away.
The mages in the rear support unit were nearby, watching the scene curiously, and Maxi forced himself to join them.
The march resumed shortly afterwards.
Riftan's words kept echoing in her head as she followed the soldiers.
She now knew that he understood why she had been forced to leave and that she had made the right decision.
Still, the fact that she was able to leave hurt him deeply, and the current circumstances certainly weren't helping to repair the rift between them.
With teary eyes, she watched him disappear and reappear as he moved among the knights.
Ignoring him to avoid further confrontation could have been a big mistake.
She should never have given up trying to persuade him.
Either that, or she should have allowed herself to be persuaded.
Unfortunately, they had both abandoned any attempt at communication, and now they might never be able to talk again.
The thought filled her with fear.
She realized she had never considered a future without Riftan.
In his mind, it was an unspoken constant that he would always be there, that there would always be a next time.
It was the reason she was able to put off resolving things between them.
Once she recognized this, she found the answer to his question.
She could never have left him like she did without his unshakable conviction that things could always be made right again.
All the affection Riftan gave her had given her that confidence, but she failed to do the same for him.
Never in her life had anyone treated her the way he treated her.
Intoxicated with his love, she followed him around, never thinking about reciprocating or giving him any sense of certainty.
She felt her heart break at the thought of the tattered ornament he still clung to.
"Stop!
Let's rest here for a while!"
One of the commanding officers shouted, waking her from her thoughts.
The army stopped in a steep mountain valley and had a late lunch while the horses rested.
In preparation for the impending battle, the soldiers were given more food than usual.
Maxi mechanically spooned in spoonfuls of his food as he reflected on the fact that they would soon reach their destination.
In two days, Riftan would leave her to infiltrate the city of monsters.
Their bitter conversation earlier could very well be their last.
Just the thought of it suffocated her.
Crouching behind a rock, Maxi looked away from the roaring fire and pulled her saddle closer.
She rummaged through her luggage of herbs, medical tools, magic stones, emergency rations, and spare clothes in her leather bag.
Finally, he found a relatively new scarf.
Although the dark blue fabric was small, she could tear it into long strips and weave them into an ornament.
She clenched the scarf in her fist, her face turning red.
Would a hastily made gift bring him any joy?
She didn't want to give something so rude.
However, the thought of him leaving with a torn rope impelled her to act.
This type of ornament was usually given to adventurers for protection, and Maxi couldn't bear the thought of Riftan carrying a broken amulet stained with blood.
Overcome with superstitious fear, she began to tear the scarf into thin strips with a dagger.
Anette, who was drinking beer in front of the fire, looked at her with a curious expression.
"What are you doing?"
Maxi blushed, quickly hiding the pieces inside her clothes.
After a moment, she took them off again, knowing she had no time to waste.
“I-I'm making an ornament for my husband… before he leaves,” she confessed, her voice barely audible.
"Ornament?" Anette asked, raising an eyebrow.
Maxi nodded.
“The kind that ties to a belt.”
Anette raised her head to look at the knights and murmured something in understanding as she saw the long braided ropes hanging from their sword belts.
"You are very dedicated.
I don't understand what you see in this cold man."
“H-He’s not cold,” Maxi replied, irritated.She concentrated on braiding the strips of fabric.
Cutting cloth into long strips might be simple, but weaving them into an intricate shape was another matter.
After watching Maxi work in silence, Anette took something from her bag.
"It will look dull unless you add another color.
Here, try putting some of these in the middle."
Anette tore the white linen she had brought to use as a bandage into strips and offered them to Maxi.
Without a doubt, watching Maxi's efforts awakened his sense of craftsmanship.
Maxi gratefully accepted the two white strips and braided them with the dark blue one.
After a few minutes, a small-sized, unevenly braided ornament was in her hand.
Maxi's shoulders slumped in disappointment.
“It’s horrible.”
Anette, who was watching the work with a neutral face, said with a laugh, "What do you mean?
I think it looks nice.
Aren't navy blue and white the colors of the White Dragons?
I think it will go well with his armor."
Reassured, Maxi resumed work.
When it was halfway through, Hebaron's booming voice sounded from ahead.
"Rest is over!
Put out the fires!
Leave no trace!"
Maxi stuffed the ornament into her bag and quickly put out the fire.
Then he gathered the burnt wood into a bag and placed it on a cart.
Because they needed to save as much fuel as possible, they had to scour the ash for any usable fuel every time.
As soon as the army was ready to leave, the soldiers formed a formation and resumed their march.
Although Maxi tried to work on the embellishment whenever he could, weaving strips of fabric onto a moving horse wasn't easy.
His fingers became stiff from the cold, and his knuckles became a tangle.
She gave up shortly after and concentrated on keeping up with the soldiers.
When night finally came, the men began to set up camp behind a large rock.
Maxi finished his supper hurriedly and retired to the wizards' tent to finish the decorations.
The hastily made amulet was embarrassing to even look at.
Maxi looked at the finished ornament with dismay before irritably stuffing it into her bag.
Riftan would undoubtedly accept, and knowing that irritated her.
Just the thought of him appreciating such a poorly made ornament made her heart sink.
Furious with herself, she began to resent the whole situation.