Everything swam before my eyes. Adaline shook her head and grabbed Shane's wrist, pressing her face to his.
“That’s not it, really...”
The language, so light and confident when talking with strangers, now seemed numb, became heavy and clumsy. Shane glanced at her hand squeezing his wrist, and at that same second Adaline saw her reflection in his cold blue eyes, and her heart sank with foreboding.
"Is it true. I didn’t mean to... Believe me.”
“Why were you so scared?”
"Shane, I..."
“There is no need to be afraid. Ah, or is it because I told you not to talk nonsense?”
"...No..."
“I didn’t think you were so timid. I thought you were just coming up with some cute trick, you’ve been so flexible lately.”
"Shane..."
“Well, of course. This is all Lucian Cole.
[She thought she had convinced him. But it seemed that Lucian also showed more interest in her than it seemed at first glance.]
While he spoke, Shane kept touching her face with his lips, as if this was the only way he could restrain the emotions raging inside. Each of his kisses, each light sound with which his lips left her skin seemed to draw blood from her.
“No matter what I say now, you still won’t believe it. But Shane..."
He was silent.
“I promise. I won't run away from you anymore."
Shane pulled back a little, as if he needed the distance.
[The man, who before had not heard a single word of hers, but had only spoken himself, now looked at her with a cold, empty mask. But even that was better than his smile, in which he hid disdain.]
He looked into her green eyes. Then he grinned.
“You lie so beautifully, my love.”
“Even if you don’t believe me now, it’s okay.”
It was her decision too.
[Even if she says she loves him, he won't believe it. He doesn't listen. Even if she suddenly admitted that she felt something real for him, he simply would not accept it.]
[All her life, Adaline did nothing but run. From him. From the truth. From feelings. Lied, pushed away, avoided.]
[But now everything has changed. Now she has to promise that she won't do that again.]
“I won't run away. I'll be back myself. Wherever you are, I will find my way to you, Shane."
She expected a grin. [Mockery. But Shane was silent.] His breath faltered, his jaw tensed, his face twisted with pain, which he could hardly contain.
“Did you want to see how happy I was knowing that you were lying to me?” - He whispered with a hoarse grin, squeezing her shoulders tighter. “If yes, congratulations. You've achieved your goal. And how do you like it, huh? Looking at this pathetic idiot who has no idea what to do with your words?
"I'm not that cruel."
He rested his forehead on her shoulder and took a deep breath. He muttered something quietly under his breath, and when he raised his head again, a smile appeared on his face again.
Adaline touched the corner of his lips, and from this light touch his entire fragile smile collapsed.
Shane spoke:
“If you really wanted to say what I wanted to hear, then it would be better if you were just jealous. That would be enough."
“How could I be jealous?” - she whispered.
[When she didn’t even have the right to appear there openly.]
"I'm jealous of everything that touches you."
If she had the right to be jealous, she would have lost her temper a long time ago.
“Be jealous, Adaline. Please."
"I'm jealous."
"More. More. Think about me all day, the way I think about you."
"I'm thinking about you."
“This is not enough. I think about you constantly. You exist, you don't - it doesn't matter. Like crazy. Like I'll die if you're not around. I don't have enough air."
He fell silent. Adalyn too.
“If you feel sorry for me...then love me. At least a little. Love me, Adaline. Please."
"I..."
"Even if it's a lie, I'll believe it."
[Even if I say I love you...even if it's true...]
Adaline suddenly realized: [I can’t say this now.]
[If she said this now, these words would become a lie. Even if they are true. Because he will think that she is using them as weapons. And then, something will break between them forever.]
[But she couldn’t leave him in this state.]
Adaline wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Shane leaned over and pulled her into his arms.
She hoped that in this silence, in the warmth of their bodies, there was more truth than in a hundred words.
"I'll hug you when I see you."
"I'll come back to you."
[Adaline almost never made promises. Every day of her life could have been her last.]
[But if she swore, she kept her word to the end. Even if you had to pay for it with your life.]
And she prayed that her promises would reach him.