“I'm not angry.”
“You yelled at someone in the park and left without ever looking back, and you say you're not angry?”
“I wasn't feeling well at the time, so it seems Your Highness misunderstood.”
“The servants of the Flores Palace say that I am the reason why you are getting more tempered day by day and that I am the one who has made you angry these days, but it is a somewhat unfair judgment… I also don’t know why you are upset.”
“I'm really not angry with Your Highness.
Yes, I'm a little upset, but that's because I can't stand some things anymore.”
Annette blinked slowly.
Hearing her calm voice, it seemed like she wasn't really angry at all.
However, in Theodore's eyes, her attitude was rather a camouflage to hide her inner anger.
Annette's tone of voice and demeanor today were strangely polite.
She also clasped her hands together in her lap, as if she was trying to put distance between herself and Theodore and get away from him as much as possible.
These days Annette was like a cup full of water.
Anger pooled in her chest like water that seemed like it would spill over at any moment if even just a drop was added to it.
She looked like a frightened child trying to pretend to be calm, unable to even flinch for fear of spilling water if she moved even the slightest inch.
She was clearly suffering internally alone, but she insisted she was fine.
This was Annette's usual stubborn behaviour.
“What is this unbearable thing?
You can just scream and let out all the anger inside you like you usually do.
Since when have you stopped yelling at me and scolding me?
I don’t mind hearing your complaints until the end.
Just like you always do, spit obscenities or curse me, do anything else that might make you feel better.”
“No, this is the right thing to do from now on.
I will never forget the formalities in dealing with Your Highness in the future.
Forget all the time I was affectionate with you all this time.”
“Are you going to leave me unilaterally without telling me why?”
"We weren't supposed to be close to each other in the first place, right?
It's normal for us to be so far away that we can't reach each other in the first place."
While Theodore changed his tone several times from anger to sarcasm, Annette's expression remained the same the entire time.
Like Annette in the painting, she was expressionless and emotionless.
As if pleading with Annette, Theodore felt sorry for himself at the situation in which he was reacting alone.
It was a pathetic feeling that he had never felt before, but he wanted to know the answer to his questions, even through begging.
He was desperate that this emotionless woman would not take a step back to get away from him after all the developments that had occurred between them in recent months.
But Annette not only did not back down, she completely turned her back on him.
“You must not love me.
Do you remember when I told you that you must not fall in love with me and only then will you be able to become emperor?”
(M.M.: I told him this in Chapter 2)
“……I don’t remember.”
Perhaps Theodore had forgotten these words that Annette said to him with a stern expression on her first day in the Flores Palace, as if she were threatening him.
Looking back now, it was a warning sent from the future, as if she knew all about the interest Theodore would show towards her.
They both knew what the consequences would be if complex feelings like love interfered in their contractual relationship.
“We can only achieve what we want by staying apart from each other.
I will go to my world, and Your Highness will obtain the position of Emperor.”
Annette remembered the gypsy woman's warning.
If she forgets her role and tries to get used to her daily life in someone else's body, she will have to pay the price.
Getting close to Theodore has not helped her achieve her goals, so she needs to get away from him as soon as possible.
But if she continues to waste time by spending time with him, achieving her goal will become impossible and extremely painful.
Starting today, and forever this time, Annette must not throw into his arms or shout such words at him.
Annette was so comfortable in the arms of Theodore, who was holding her on his lap in the carriage to keep her head from hitting the ceiling, that she didn't realize how badly the carriage they were in was shaking.
But to get rid of the pain once and for all, she must go to her world, which uses comfortable cars instead of feeling comfortable in a shaky carriage.
Annette felt stupid for getting closer to Theodore little by little even though she knew all this.
But…
Perhaps it was natural for Annette to be attracted to Theodore.
He was someone who would sometimes come to the villa during the summer and share the warmth of those days when she was suffocated by deadly loneliness.
Aside from his impure goals, Theodore was the first person Annette met in this world, and the only person who protected her.
Strangely enough, even though that man had given orders to kill countless times, his lips were still soft and smelled better than the sweet fruit blooming in the vineyards.
But she had to forget everything that happened in the past.
And she must not forget that their agreement stipulated that he would not love her.
He just had to pretend to love her.
Annette should consider that Theodore's obvious feelings and actions that she had observed over the past months were just an illusion that they should end at this point.
Because the end of all these feelings is goodbye anyway.
Hypocrisy and concern about Theodore's reputation in society and his drive to become a good emperor were ineffective.
Now Annette needed to figure out how to put him in the position of Emperor as quickly as possible and return to her world before their feelings for each other blossomed further.
Even if this method was dirty and bloody, Annette shouldn't care about it.
No matter what happens in this fantasy world inside a book, shouldn't it be none of her business after all?
This world, which keeps her in a state of misery and emotional instability, is just a world that will disappear when Annette returns to her cozy little nest and closes the novel and places it in the bookshelf.
There is no need to get emotionally attached to things that are not even real.
So Annette must be determined to get rid of those who stand in her way.
This way Annette will not waste time appeasing them, and threatening or killing will be a quick solution with guaranteed results.
This was not the time to try to reach her goal in humane ways or worry about other people's feelings.
If only it had been like this from the beginning...
If Annette had realized this so quickly, she would not have had to feel the heart-wrenching emotions she was feeling now.
There would not have been a relentless rush of feelings that stabbed her heart without mercy, nor would there have been the need for her to feel that she wanted to throw herself into Theodore's arms and hold his hand outstretched towards her, nor to have her hand extended to him in order to help him get out of the shadow of the broken butterfly stuck in his back, nor to have felt the desire to cover his eyes to protect him from those who were pointing their dirty fingers at him while mocking him as he walked down the street, and so on...
Her feelings for him would not have grown and blossomed.
Maybe she shouldn't have fallen in love with someone like Theodore, who would rudely ask her why she was angry instead of kindly asking her why she was angry.
But it may already be too late.
The truth was that even though Annette knew who Theodore was and his character was corrupt, he was the only person she could rely on in this world.
Ironically, Theodore was the only person who knew who Annette really was and would not call her crazy no matter what she said or did.
So she wanted to talk to him more...
She wanted to tell him everything about her world so she wouldn't forget who she was.
She wanted to touch his cheek and tell him all about her.
In fact, she didn't want to be angry with him or take out her anger on him, she just wanted to cry loudly in his embrace, and she wanted him to understand that and not push her away rudely.
After that, she wished he would wipe the tears from her eyes with his big hand...
But all this is impossible.
The person who is leaving should not ask for such sentimental things.
Annette should not become a part of Theodore's daily life and hurt him by leaving later.
So Annette decided not to covet anything in this world and not to be attached to anything at all.
Of course, she didn't covet the jewels and dazzling dresses either because she wasn't greedy.
However, the things she experienced in this world kept coming to her mind against her will.
The moment the sunlight broke through Theodore's silver hair, Annette could remember the look in his eyes as he searched for her at the palace entrance each time after returning from outside business, and even his habit of hurling insults while reading a newspaper that contained offensive gossip about the Grand Duke and his wife.
Such things stuck in Annette's head and became part of her daily life.
The unforgettable scenes were framed in Annette's head and accumulated one after another in her memory and she had an emotional attachment to them.
An art gallery of her memories with Theodore was forming in her head before she knew it, and she had the illusion that she might be able to take at least one of these beautiful memories into her world and cherish it for the rest of her life.
But even if she took these memories with her...
… سيكون من المرعب أن تتذكرها في عالم بدون Theodore.
At that time, let alone being able to touch him and talk to him, Theodore would become just an unreal imaginary character who would disappear as soon as Annette closed the pages of this book, and it would be very painful and tragic if her heart beat for him there as it does now.
So Annette wanted to go back without memories or anything related to this world.
She didn't want to make anything precious that might make her feel regret.
She didn't want to depend on him.
She wanted to stop worrying about him.
Theodore was just someone who shared her goals.
So now, she could still dismiss all these feelings as just an instinctive attraction to him as a result of feeling safe with him.
Annette still loved herself more than Theodore.
“I plan to stay at Scheringen Palace from now on.”
“It's not enough that you avoided me without a reason, and now you are going to leave the Flores Palace?”
“Come to think of it, I forgot about the Scheringen after I became the Marchioness.
I proudly told them that I would live as a Scheringen even after marriage, but I was very indifferent to family matters.
I have to show more interest in them to retain my title, so it will be good for you if I stay there for a while.”
“Don't talk nonsense while pretending to think about me-!
You're telling me now that you're going to leave me even though you're my wife, and you want me to be convinced that it's for my own good?”
In the end, Theodore couldn't handle the situation and shouted at Annette.
“And how did you suddenly become interested in the position of Marchioness when you are not even a real Sheringen!”
“Exactly.
I'm not Shiringen, nor even the real Annette.
So I want to pay more attention to this position now.”
Annette smiled weakly despite Theodore's shouting.
Theodore read a spirit of surrender in the slightly raised corners of her mouth.
Annette simply abandoned Theodore.
But he could not accept such a thing easily.
Theodore grabbed Annette's face before she turned and left him behind as usual, then hurriedly grabbed her cheek and pressed his lips to hers.
Their lips met, but Annette did not respond to him.
Theodore desperately tried to get her to respond to him, as if he was asking her to open her mouth and heart to him.
However, when Theodore began to breathe heavily, Annette did not respond to him even when he tried to open her mouth with his tongue.
Neither of them closed their eyes during the one-sided kiss.
“Why...”
Theodore quickly removed his lips from hers when he realized there was no point in trying.
His voice trembled faintly as he asked her why she didn't share the kiss with him in the end despite her body's reaction to his.
“Why...”
Theodore's hand was still holding Annette's face.
“You clearly want me, but why are you rejecting me?”
Theodore murmured, his voice choked with anger and disappointment.
“Answer me.
Did I force you to do this?”
Annette shook her head no and silently moved away the hand that was holding her face, so Theodore held both of her hands in his fist as if he was holding on to her and begging her not to push him away from her.
“I just don't like you touching me.”
“You don’t like me touching you even though your body has responded to all my touches?”
Theodore remembered all of Annette's reactions when he kissed her lips.
Although she was saying that she didn't want to, Annette's body also became excited while it was clear that she was trying hard to restrain herself.
Also, the place where their lips touched became hot.
Did she really think that he wouldn't notice the longing that opened within her with the touch of his fingertips to her cheek?
“You were the one who made this rule first, so don't you dare break it.
We shouldn't lie to each other, so stop trying to deceive me.”
His words not to dare deceive him were somewhat like a plea for Annette not to turn away from him.
This was the utmost expression that Theodore could make to express the importance of Annette in his heart, as he gave up his violent nature and began to plead with her.
"You still don't know what this feeling is, so you will be able to end it easily.
You will forget me before you know it, and I will move beyond you and live where I belong, away from you."
Theodore's hand that was holding Annette fell.
وبينما استدارت Annette وتركته وحيدًا وراءها، شعر Theodore بالضعف وأن عالمه قد انهار بلا حول ولا قوة.