The separate palace was somewhat far from the imperial palace.
I walked slowly back to the manuscripts section.
'Hmm, there's still time before we return.'
It was over much faster than I expected.
I thought I would need to organize the situation more, but the Emperor's unexpected intervention changed things.
'Okay, that's good.'
I kicked a pebble on the road with my foot.
I laughed because Lydon's words sounded ridiculous.
Would rejecting a marriage proposal from the Crown Prince be considered a major crime?
It was just an excuse, and the truth is that they were not satisfied with me being a minister.
'Everything ended well.
Well done, Namiya Rawabi.'
Maybe because I wasn't in a hurry, my steps became slower and slower.
It was almost lunch time, so I had plenty of time.
Kibon had also taken half the day off in the morning.
Yesterday, he seemed ill and left early, then extended his leave until today.
'Miss in time.' Really, well done...'
As I was walking slowly, another pebble got stuck in my foot.
I kicked her hard again.
[Your mother loves and cherishes you very much...]
The Emperor's words kept echoing in my ears.
Likewise, all the actions of the Empress, who were disturbed when Jayden's name was mentioned.
[It is natural for a mother to love her son!
How did you not know that? huh?]
As the Empress said, is this really normal for every mother?
A question arose in my mind that I could not solve.
'But my mother...why didn't she love me?'
I remembered my childhood when I was studying at the academy.
The day I got first place in the entrance exam, then the day of the first exam results came.
The children were crying and complaining.
[What do I do!
My mother will be angry.]
[My mother cooked meat for me every day during exams, she would be very disappointed.]
[My mother’s dream is for me to become an employee at the Imperial Palace…]
I sat quietly alone, holding a sheet of bad results.
There was no one to feel sad if I failed the exam.
This thing in itself made me sad.
[Namiya, did you get good grades?
You were the first!]
[Exactly!
Your mother will be expecting a lot.]
Friends gathered around me, so I shrugged and showed them the results sheet.
In an instant, I received surprised looks.
I felt dizzy from the mixture of pity and amazement in their eyes.
Then I realized I looked a little pathetic.
[Ah, what are you doing, Namiye?
Are you going to be okay?]
[I saw your mother on opening day, she looked so strict!]
[You will be severely punished.
Your mother probably expected a lot from you.]
My face froze.
I didn't know what to say, so I stuttered for a moment.
[H, well, maybe Juan got good grades?]
The worried looks did not go away from me.
In the end, I murmured with an embarrassed face as if I was making an excuse:
[So it will be fine.
Um, mom, you know…]
I had never called the Baron's wife "mother" before.
But at that moment, the word came out of me without me realizing it.
Then Juan, who was playing with other children nearby, laughed lightly.
Then he raised his chin and shouted:
[That's right, mom will be fine.
Isn't it, Namiye?]
I lowered my head.
I felt very hot in my face.
It was more humiliating than failing the exam.
[My mother loves me much more than you.
Much, much.]
The children looked at me and Juan in amazement, exchanging glances.
I couldn't say anything.
[Isn't it?
My mother doesn't care about your grades at all.]
While I was silent, the children slowly moved away, whispering behind me.
That night at the Baron’s house, Juan laughed and said, “When did my mother become your mother?” He makes fun of me all the time.
The Baron's wife laughed in amazement when she heard the story from Juan.
[Your mother abandoned you and went away.
How do you put me in her place?]
However, the Baron's wife allowed me to have dinner that night.
[Well, since you didn't pass Juan in the exam as you promised, it's okay.]
She was in a very good mood that night.
She was satisfied with Juan's grades.
[Juan's grades have improved a lot.
It may reach the Ministry of Finance.
Ah, what a wonderful son you are.]
[Mom, give me more meat pie.
It's delicious.]
[Really?
Want more?
Namiya, give me your plate.
This is the last piece.]
Juan's grades improved because I chose the expected questions for him before the exam.
I passed the meat pie, which I had not tasted, feeling sad.
But the stew was so delicious that I couldn't put the spoon down.
But that night.
Maybe because I ate too much stew, I got a stomach ache.
I vomited and rolled on the bathroom floor alone.
I didn't even think of waking up the Baron and his wife to ask for medicine.
I cried a little thinking that if my mother had died sick, I would not have felt so lonely.
It was strange.
All that has passed now, but that night of my childhood, when I felt deeply lonely, suddenly came back to my mind.
'I see another family's emotional moment, and here I am as a grown-up and I feel it.
'Namiya, this is ugly.'
But in that emotional moment, there was no room for me anyway.
I had to retreat among other people's families at the appropriate time, as I always used to.
'Wait.
When my father returns, I will have a family too…'
As I was walking slowly and looking at the ground, the pebble I had kicked before got stuck in my foot again.
I kicked her hard again.
The pebble rolled away.
But…
“Huh?”
Someone's foot suddenly pressed down on the rolling pebble.
A long shadow stretched across the walkway of the Imperial Palace in front of me.
“……huh?”
I looked at the young man standing in front of me and my eyes widened.
"What are you doing here?
How did you get there?"
Dark black hair contrasted with a slightly pale face.
It was Kibun, his face as impassive as ever.
“Didn't you say you'd come in the afternoon?
Are you okay now?”
"I'm fine."
Kibon said in a low voice.
There was silence between us for a moment.
We didn't really have anything to say.
But, unexpectedly, I felt happy.
Only then did I realize that I didn't like being alone.
'Be careful.
You shouldn't be happy with a subordinate because you don't like loneliness!'
Honestly, the subordinates are very convenient.
I can say whatever I want without being blamed or criticized.
So, there's no harm in them being with me, but it's probably not good from their point of view.
Because they may be blamed or criticized if I say what I want freely.
“So, later…”
While I was thinking about this and said, “See you later,” Kibun interrupted me.
“Minister.”
Kibun looked at me from above in a low voice and said:
“Buy me food.”
What?
I stopped for a moment when I heard words I didn't expect.
His face was expressionless and his tone was normal, but something seemed very strange.
I can't explain it...but it didn't seem right for Kibune at all.
When I looked confused, Kibun added calmly:
“You said you would buy me food anytime I wanted to eat with you.”
Oh, right...
[In the future, if I don't want to eat alone, I will share food with you, so ask me for food freely.]
I definitely said that.
“Today I don’t want to eat alone.”
“H, okay?”
“If we combine lunch time, we will have enough time.”
Since Kibun was on half-day leave in the morning, he did not have to be in the manuscript department office.
Kibun looked at his watch and said:
“We can have lunch today in peace.”
He was very confident though that he would be the one to be fed.
But, somehow… it seemed right for Kibune.
His tone carried a bit of arrogance along with his politely obedient demeanor.
It was a strange combination that I had never felt from anyone else.
“Well… would you like that?
I have a lot of food vouchers for fancy restaurants.”
In my days as a junior employee, the Crown Prince gave me a lot of food stamps, which are still around.
I took out my wallet, showed Kibun all the coupons, and asked him to choose what he wanted to eat.
“Not that I feel sorry for my money, but I happen to have a lot of coupons I could use.”
“This place is good.”
Kibon thought for a moment and chose a place.
Then he naturally pointed to another coupon and said:
“Next time, we go here.”
He even talked about next time.
At his audacity, I laughed in amazement.
“Whoever sees you might think that you are the one who will pay?”