The Count's Secret Maid (9)
“You may say it's too cruel, but that's the way it is.” I don't think it was thought out from the start, but Vincent trusted you, probably because he could get rid of you if something happened. Others probably thought the same. Violet is too naive, so she didn't pay much attention to it, unlike me.
-...
-Are you disappointed? – Ethan asked.
- No.
It was unexpected, but not all that surprising. It would be difficult not to suspect this. From the very beginning, I was a commodity, bought with gold coins. I never expected that I would be safe just because I moved into a luxurious mansion. My whole life was fraught with the risk of death.
Secrets should continue to be so.
You need to watch your language, pretend that you didn’t see or hear anything.
Excessive curiosity can get you into trouble.
I constantly reminded myself of this. To have any chance of living another day, you need to keep your mouth shut. I have known cases where people allowed themselves to talk too much, and then disappeared without a trace. So I watched my words, sometimes risking my life with fake sincerity. Everything I did and said invariably affected whether I could survive.
Now my situation was the same.
-Are you going to kill me?
– What do you think?
“I think that’s what you’ll do,” I answered calmly but honestly. Ethan simply smiled at my words.
There was silence. We looked at each other, but neither he nor I knew how to continue the conversation. The atmosphere was tense, either because of the circumstances under which we met, or because of Ethan's revelations, but we studied each other stubbornly, thinking about something of our own.
Ethan then looked away. He bowed his head, sighed heavily and was the first to break the silence.
“I couldn’t decide whether to tell you or not, but since there is a high probability that this is our last conversation, I think it would be better to tell you about it.” It will be a shame if you never find out. He is naive and lacks insight. Actually, it's sad.
- What?
He changed the subject, which cleared the air, but I was puzzled. Ethan shook his head and smiled kindly.
– Lucas has been in poor health since childhood. He often had seizures, so he could not even dream of walking carefree on the street. Most of the time he had to sit in his room without leaving. We felt sorry for him, and we began to write letters to him often. To relieve boredom, he began to answer them.
-...
– At some point he began to write letters in colored ink. For Violet - purple, for me - red, and for Vincent - gold.
Hearing his words, I couldn't hide my trepidation. The mystery that had haunted me for so long was finally solved. My eyes twitched when Ethan talked about this too. Watching my reaction, he broke into a mischievous smile.
“The day I returned to the mansion after meeting Vincent, whom I had not heard from for a long time, Lucas asked me about you,” Ethan continued. – You once asked a question about what kind of ink I use, remember? I was curious, so I asked Lucas and he said that he had sent letters to Vincent. When I asked him why he had not talked about this before, he replied that someone else was answering them.
-...
– I immediately realized who it was.
Many letters often arrived at the Bellunita mansion. Among all this multitude, the letters written in gold ink, to which I responded on Isabella’s orders, stood out especially.
– Lucas often asked about Vincent’s new maid. Even the most insignificant, everyday details brought him joy. Now I understand him... Vincent closed himself off, sat in his room all the time, and this made Lucas worry. Replies to letters became a great consolation for him.
The golden letters on the paper were mesmerizing, but in themselves they did not carry any significance. All that was required was to formally respond: “I’m fine,” “the weather is good today,” “thank you.” But despite this, such laconic answers gave him pleasure.
Ethan knew about everything from the very beginning.
-Lucas likes you.
- I know.
- …
- I know.
I covered my face with my hands, my closed lips trembling uncontrollably.
Everything fell into place. From the very first meeting he showed cordiality and sympathy towards me. Now I understand why Lucas tried to be close, tried to start a conversation, why he so sincerely and anxiously prayed that in the moment of danger I would leave him and save myself.
"Come on, let's run away together."
Thinking back on Lucas' words now, I could sense the incredible courage they contained.
Tears streamed down my face non-stop. I couldn't numb my grief, and I couldn't keep any coherent thoughts in my head. Remembering that ill-fated day, I was overcome with trembling and unimaginable fear. I didn't have the courage to ask Vincent about it, but now, in this heartbreaking moment, I could ask Ethan.
- Lu-Lucas... How did he...
“They told me that I need to prepare for the worst.”
I sobbed bitterly, tears flowed with renewed vigor.
If I had accepted Lucas's offer and ran away with him, would things have turned out differently? If I had grabbed his trembling hand and followed him far, far away, would our fate have changed? If I hadn't run away, left him alone, bleeding? I couldn't find an answer to a single question.
We didn't say another word. The silence was oppressive. I poured out all the pain instead of Ethan, who held back his suffering, hiding behind feigned calm.
After some time the car stopped. Ethan opened the door and tapped me lightly on the shoulder. Wiping my tears, I grabbed my bag and went outside.
And so...
-Where are we?
This was not a mansion. Not far away, just below, a village surrounded by forest could be seen. This was not the same village that Lucas and I went to. Some place unfamiliar to me.
I looked back at Ethan.
“Aren’t you going to kill me?”
My voice sounded harsh and my eyes were red and puffy from crying. Ethan chuckled at my words. His eyes widened kindly.
- Something else. I'm really going to Vincent's.
- And I'm trying to escape.
-...
“There is a risk that the criminal might have spotted me at the scene that night, so the master ordered me to be sent to the villa in Novella.” The gentleman’s suspicions turned out to be correct, and the day before yesterday I was attacked and almost killed by some mercenary. Because of this, I hurried to leave the mansion as quickly as possible, but it turned out that the butler had sent a chase after me to get rid of me. They seemed to be concerned that the master was too focused on the safety of a simple maid. That's why I'm running away. I want to live.
I calmly explained the situation to Ethan. I didn't understand why Ethan, who had just recently threatened me, was now showing such kindness. Perhaps he has his own intentions. All this time I looked at him warily, but he just grinned, listening to my explanations with undisguised warmth.
– Miss, you are a completely new character on the pages of this long-running story. There's no reason for you to get into this any more. There is no need to sacrifice yourself. Forget about everything and go your own way.
-...
- Don't worry about it. I had a presentiment that sooner or later everything would turn out this way. Vincent and I have been preparing for a long time, so all that remains is to bring it to the end.
Ethan spoke in such a measured tone, as if he wanted to calm me down. A few days ago he looked puzzled, but now his face was calm. His situation was clearly difficult, but he talked about it so flippantly.
– Are you sure of your decision? I know a lot.
– Hmm... And who are you going to tell about everything to?
I shook my head. Ethan approached me with a smile on his face, as if he knew I would react that way. He extended his hand to me.
- Maid, you saved my friend. You comforted someone close to me when he was in deep despair, and helped us all to be reunited again. I won't forget your kindness. Never.
I hesitated, but Ethan quickly grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
“I never addressed you properly.” I knew, but I didn't do it.
-...
“Paula,” his brown eyes looked straight at me, “I wish you happiness.”
I looked down at our clasped hands. Ethan shook them up and down slightly. I looked at his gentle smile again. I know what difficulties he goes through and how hard it is for him. I understood this well, because I myself was drawn into part of this story.
However, he tried to console me, convincing me to forget everything and move on.
- Sir Christopher.
“Can you call me by my name from now on?”
I suppressed a sob and smiled widely.
– Ethan.
- Yes.
“I also want,” I paused a little, “for you all to be happy.”
Ethan broke into an even more touching smile. We broke the handshake and I turned away, clutching my bag tightly with both hands. I took a breath and ran forward. Just like before, I tried to run as hard as I could.
My world was terrible. It was a life accompanied by poverty, the sale of children and people losing the remnants of their humanity. The growing darkness drove me into the abyss of despair. All I had was suffering.
But when I moved here, I realized something important for the first time.
Life may be different.
The moments you spend with others can bring happiness.
There are those who wish me well.
I was allowed to live.
I felt that the end of everything was already close. Once I leave this place, I will no longer be a part of this world. I will never see these people again.
I remembered the ending of my favorite book.
The main character leaves everything behind and sets off on a new journey.
"Eh... That's all."
At that moment, thoughts about Vincent came into my head. He believed that he had sent me to safety, he was left alone, cherishing the hope that one day we would meet again.
“I will bring you back. I promise".
My vision became blurred and I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. I'll never see him again. We won't bump into each other walking down the street. Will he want to find me? Will he come for me? I couldn’t even say goodbye to him properly. But it's okay. I didn't need goodbyes.
I wished happiness to everyone, but I especially earnestly prayed for his happiness. Let Vincent's life be filled only with joy, he will stop hiding in his room, start life with a clean slate, be safe and love this world again.
I hope that I can at least see it from afar with my own eyes.
I wanted this with all my heart.
Darkness covered my small body.
All secrets remained secrets until the end.
At the same time, the count's secret maid, whose figure disappeared into the darkness, disappeared forever.