Circumstances of graph (9)
– I heard a strange noise at night.
- Is it true?
I didn't hear anything.
I spoke casually, clearing my hoarse throat.
It was not in the best condition after the heart-rending screams at night.
Vincent heard me secretly swallowing saliva, fighting the tickle, and looked around.
I pretended not to notice anything, poured water into a cup and put it in his hand.
Lucas suddenly held out his empty cup.
He didn't want to eat alone, so he joined us.
- Paula, I want it too.
I poured water without even looking at Lucas' face.
He said “thank you,” but I pretended not to hear him.
Lucas laughed sheepishly.
After this there was a heavy silence.
An uncomfortable atmosphere hung in the room, filled only by the clinking of cutlery.
Vincent, sensing something was wrong, squinted.
- Did something happen?
- What?
What are you talking about?
“You two are acting strange.”
- We?
Nothing happened to us.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing,” I repeated, emphasizing each word.
Vincent fell silent.
Lucas drank his water in silence.
I removed the empty dishes with a bang.
When I left the room, Lucas followed me.
But I didn't even look at him.
-You look very angry.
- Sorry I locked the door.
I was a little scared after what I did.
– Paula.
When I didn't respond to his attempts to talk to me, he stopped pursuing me.
My steps echoed in the corridor.
I stared straight ahead and quickened my pace, furious as ever.
Bastard.
What an asshole!
How could he say such a thing, even as a joke?
I was so shocked that I lost my breath and my head went blank.
At that moment he seemed to be serious.
And it scared me.
I didn't think someone's sincerity could be so scary, so when he said he was joking, my mind felt empty.
To be honest, I felt relieved.
He was just joking.
But in addition to being relieved, I was also angry.
After that, Lucas followed me, begging me to forgive him.
I ignored him, knowing he was trying to make amends, but I'd rather not talk to him.
Ignoring is the best way out.
Otherwise, I would have lost my temper and yelled at him, and then slapped him in the face.
Yes, I really wanted to scream, “Bastard!” and grab his hair.
So I'm glad I held back.
But if you think about it.
- This is unfair.
I angrily crumpled the paper I was holding in my hands and clenched my fists.
- No, there must be a limit to how much you can look down on people!
What?
Joke?
Do you think this is funny?
I spat out a string of curse words before I came to my senses.
I took a breath and read the text in front of me.
This was a dialogue between the main character and his friend:
“Don't do this.
I cannot accept your sacrifice."
"I'm ready to do anything for you."
- Who are you to sacrifice yourself!
"You think you're so great, right?" My anger flared again.
I gritted my teeth, shouting out what he thought he was.
The paper crumpled and the writing became illegible.
“You also think so, sir, that this is too much?”
– I don’t understand what you’re talking about.
Vincent, who, as always, had been listening to my reading, made a grimace.
I wasn't going to stop.
I slammed the table and criticized the smugness of the protagonist's friend.
He doesn't think about those around him.
Vincent, who was listening to me, looked at me as if I were crazy.
So this is a joke, Lucas?
Okay, joke, let's see how far you can go, motherfucker!
You said you were Ethan's little brother?
Now that I think about it, you guys are actually alike in some ways.
The ability to piss people off!
I slammed the table again.
I felt pain in my arm, but the anger did not subside.
– Stop it.
He grabbed my fist, stopping me.
I inhaled sharply.
Slowly I began to come to my senses.
Confusion overwhelmed my gradually clearing head.
I tried to pull my hand away, but Vincent grabbed it tightly.
– Did something happen to Lucas?
- No.
I answered firmly, but he already suspected something.
His piercing gaze was directed straight at me.
I averted my eyes to the side, avoiding him.
“He told me something that upset me a little.”
- What?
- Nothing special.
- Tell me.
Vincent sighed as I stubbornly kept my mouth shut.
I don't want to repeat this.
These were words that were even difficult to pronounce.
I don't think he'll be pleased to hear that.
“I'll give it to my brother.
My world."
How could he say that, even as a joke?
“I don’t know what’s going on, but just forget about it.”
- As you order...
“I'm saying this because I'm worried.”
He loosened his grip on my hand and rubbed it lightly.
I focused on his touch and felt that my skin hurt a little in one place.
His fingers continued to probe his hand.
- You will have a bruise.
- It's not scary.
“You can get angry and hit others, but don’t hurt yourself.”
– Can I really hit someone?
- Yes, hit me.
I give you permission.
It was a tempting offer.
- Seriously?
- Yes.
You can consider this my order.
“In that case, lend me a cane.”
- Cane?
- Cane.
My gaze settled on his cane, the same one he had once swung at Ethan.
The window was broken, but she remained unharmed except for a few scratches.
I've been dreaming about this for a long time.
I looked at the cane and Vincent laughed.
He seemed to understand why I asked her.
- Certainly.
So I borrowed his cane.
I wore it on my belt.
Whenever I felt angry, I would secretly take it out and wave it.
I liked the sound with which she cut through the air.
Not bad, right?
I went into a larger room and waved it.
Oh, I really liked it, and I repeated this action.
Now I understand why Vincent used it.
She was just great.
I imagined the faces of the people who usually gave me trouble and swung my hand as if to strike them.
I see my opponent cry out in pain.
Of course, it was just my imagination, but it was still nice.
I circled the room, lunging, until I swung to the side, and noticed that the cane almost touched the person who had suddenly appeared.
I gasped in surprise and took a step back.
My opponent froze, raising both hands.
Something between us fell to the floor with a rustle.
- Please don't kill me.
- Oh no.
Sorry.
I panicked and quickly lowered the cane.
Lucas took a hesitant step back.
He then clutched his chest and sighed in relief.
His gaze quickly moved to the object in my hand.
-What are you doing here?
What's in your hands?
- Nothing special.
“Are you going to hit me with it?”
When I fell silent, Lucas tensed.
He looked serious and spoke calmly.
- Forgive me, really.
Just please don't hurt me.
“If you knew I would be angry, why did you tell me that?”
– I hate such lies.
Forgotten for a moment, anger overwhelmed me.
I was more angry that he flippantly said he was going to die than that he was joking.
It was a world that some people couldn't live in even if they wanted to.
At least that was life around me.
I saw a lot of death and I didn't want to look down on it.
It was too much to take it as just a play on words.
You need to have a good reason for saying this.
Of course, I hoped it was just a joke, but it sounded serious.
- You're right, I have no excuses.
I must have gone crazy for a moment.
I caused Vincent a lot of pain and I regret it so much that I can't...
I thought about how to help him and that's all I could think of.
I didn’t want to tell you this, but the words just rolled off my tongue.
Then I panicked and started talking even more nonsense.
I'm so sorry, it was a mistake and I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
- …
- I'm sorry.
He extended his hand.
I wondered if he wanted to shake it as an apology, but he looked so embarrassed.
Lucas took a quick look around and leaned over.
A bouquet lay at his feet.
It must have been the flowers that rustled from his hands earlier.
- Sorry.
He bowed low, holding out a white bouquet.
These were flowers from the clearing where we walked last time.
I then told him that I really liked them.
His clothes were covered in petals, as if he had just picked them.
I stared at his head, bowed to the floor, and began to knead the cane in my hand.
Maybe hit him?
For a moment I almost considered hitting him, but I stopped.
I already knew that he was sincerely apologizing to me.
– Don’t treat death as a joke.
Never.
“Okay,” he answered quickly.
“And don’t ever say that again.”
- Thank you for forgiving me.
– I haven’t forgiven you yet.
We'll see, maybe later.
I placed the cane on the floor next to his hand.
He looked up.
I twitched the corners of my mouth and added that I had permission from my master.
I didn’t specify what exactly, but Lucas nodded meaningfully, as if he sensed danger.
It seemed that he was not going to straighten up until I took the bouquet.
If I left him like that, he would fall to his knees.
I didn't mind, but seeing this, other people might start bad rumors.
When I finally took the bouquet, he thanked me and straightened up.
I shrugged.
“I was worried about what would have happened if you hadn’t forgiven me.”
– Were you going to continue asking for forgiveness?
- Yes.
I thought about continuing to follow you around and beg for your forgiveness.
It's a little scary.
If I had continued to ignore him, perhaps he would have woken me up someday, shaking me by the shoulders and begging me to forgive him.
“I’m glad I was able to achieve forgiveness.” I want to look good in your eyes.
- In my eyes?
For what?
- Because I like you.
His words stunned me for a second, but I quickly regained my composure.
I don't trust him anymore.
I laughed, but he continued talking.
– I really like you.
- I know.
- I'm serious.
– This is a great honor for me.
I replied dispassionately and turned away to look at the bouquet.
Suddenly they grabbed me by the shoulder, pulled me back, and something touched my cheek.
Something warm and soft.
- Ahh!
I jumped aside in fear and turned around, rubbing my cheek.
Lucas smirked at me.
He looked so innocent.
“I told you I’m serious.”
He was a man around whom you should never let your guard down.