Kim Hyeon, surrounded by bright light, looked blurry, as if he were just a dream. Am I really hallucinating? My head feels empty, like someone bewitched by a water ghost. I kept my eyes wide open, even though the flashing camera lights hurt my eyes. His face… the lines I had drawn hundreds of times… my eyeballs throbbed with pain. May I call his name? Is it really okay for me to call him? But if he disappears again, what then? Coincidentally, the fishing boat Kim Hyeon was on was turning towards the cargo ship. Only then did Seoryeong realize that it was indeed the ship urgently dispatched by the Chinese Police. If so, then my plan has been fully read… and too quickly. Is that really Kim Hyeon? Or just someone wearing Kim Hyeon’s face? That suspicion wouldn’t go away. What is my husband really? His face, or what’s inside? Even with my eyes open, I felt like I was blind again. My vision became hazy again like before, and I felt like I was running out of breath. A clammy fear clung to the back of my neck. At that moment, Kim Hyeon’s gaze turned here. Swollen and reddened back of his hand, disheveled clothes, frozen pale cheeks, messy hair… that gaze scanned my body one by one, as if climbing an ice wall. Unconsciously, Seoryeong swallowed dryly. And when his gaze finally met her living eyes directly, something in her chest seemed to drop instantly. There’s no way I wouldn’t know. There’s no way I wouldn’t recognize him… The only person who can pull me out of this darkness is― “Uu…”
Finally, a strange sound escaped my lips. Everything I had ever imagined I would say when I met him—what I should say first, what kind of expression I should make—all vanished from my head instantly. Seoryeong, who hurriedly tried to stand up, stumbled. The flash that had been illuminating her all along also shook violently.
“Your hand…”
Ah… it really is him. His voice is definitely his voice. But the man kept his mouth tightly closed, as if he wanted to say something but held back. His hard gaze was fixed on the back of my bloodied hand. My husband, who remained as gentle as ever. Seoryeong almost cried.
“Seeing you up close like this… you really are a good actor, Hyeon.”
“…….”
Kim Hyeon only tightened his jaw, without giving an answer.
“Tell me. This face… is it really fake?”
He lowered his head while pressing the back of his neck, nodding slowly. His expression looked like he wanted to run away, but he remained standing upright in his place. The gentle gaze that I could only vaguely remember from the past was still the same. Faces can be imitated, but can this kind of atmosphere also be imitated? Just by looking at him like this, it feels like his thoughts are flowing into me. Even in this unpleasant encounter, his face seemed to say he wanted to clean my hands, my hair, and my clothes. That gaze full of worry and patience… I know it well, it’s a signal from my husband. This isn’t the fake Kim Hyeon who once called me with a sweet voice, nor is it Kim Hyeon’s corpse. This is the Kim Hyeon who lived with me, shared warmth with me. The Kim Hyeon who truly lived.
“That’s fake.”
The answer came out on its own. Seoryeong nodded. Now, it was no longer surprising.
“So, all this time… during our life together, you were always wearing a fake face?”
“…….”
He looked away without answering. Seoryeong narrowed her eyes, staring deeply at the man’s body.
“But, your body seems bigger than before… like…”
“……!”
Suddenly, the flash went off abruptly. The bright light that had been blinding her disappeared, and afterimages of light still lingered in her vision. Seoryeong closed her eyes due to the dizziness that washed over her.
“If you’ve come, just arrest me quickly.”
She raised both her hands, as if surrendering.
“You came for that, didn’t you? It’s impossible that it’s because you missed me.”
“…….”
“Even when I crossed the border, even when I kidnapped your superior, you didn’t appear. Not even in my dreams. You didn’t show even a strand of hair.”
“…….”
“It wasn’t anyone else, it was you who treated me like that.”
“I…”
“If there’s a reason behind all this, don’t give it now.”
“…….”
“I don’t want to condone it to that extent. I’m just considering it as a final act of respect for myself—for the heart that once felt afraid of an empty house, an empty frame, and sometimes wanted to die from loneliness. So, please… just put on the handcuffs.”
She shook the outstretched hands. Silence returned to envelop the ship. The angry shouts of “why did you do this to me” were no longer meaningful. Seoryeong could only vaguely guess that perhaps something had been wrong since she was born. Indeed, it all started with betrayal and anger. But now she knew that venting anger and demanding reasons wasn’t the only answer. However, Kim Hyeon remained motionless, as if sinking into darkness. The encounter she had imagined hundreds of times felt heavy, stiff, and cold.
There was no warmth left— only dry, dead skin visible before her. Her mouth felt bitter. There was only one thing she wanted to ask—turn the flash back on. She wanted to see that face to her heart’s content. Because perhaps today was the last time they would meet. She didn’t know how long they stood in that tension. When Seoryeong suddenly sneezed because of the sea breeze, Kim Hyeon began to take out handcuffs from his waist—slowly. His head was bowed, his steps heavy like someone weighed down by a black sea. Seoryeong looked at those steps and opened her mouth.
“I was truly happy.”
He paused for a moment, then resumed walking as if dragging iron chains.
“For me, it was my first marriage.”
“…….”
“But after getting married, I never once got to tell you that. For some reason, I always felt guilty, unworthy, sometimes even ashamed. So I could only keep hiding my feelings.”
“…….”
“But really, I was happy every day.”
The tip of her nose stung, but she continued to speak firmly.
“Because you were the first family I ever had in my life.”
“…….”
“Our marriage ended just like that, but I’m still grateful that the first person I chose was a kind and considerate Hyeon. No matter how much time passes, even when I become a grandmother due to old age, I will never forget it.”
Seoryeong held back the corners of her lips that were trembling with emotion. She thought that if she met Kim Hyeon, she would immediately point a gun at him… But in reality, what she really wanted to do was convey the farewell she hadn’t had the chance to say.
“Thank you for letting me live as an ordinary woman.”
“……”
Hyeon’s throat moved roughly. Seoryeong hurriedly wiped the corners of her eyes and smiled faintly.
“I really wanted to say it. But you left without saying goodbye. Because I didn’t get to say that one sentence, that feeling lingered. That’s why I really wanted to meet you. I…”
Everything she had done to be able to meet Kim Hyeon again flashed through her mind one by one. Seoryeong held back something that struck her chest again. It felt like a red tide flooding her eyes.
“That’s why I came all the way here.”
She looked up with an expression like someone who had finally reached the finish line. The night was as black as someone’s hair. As she released all the painful days, her shoulders felt lighter. All the emotions she had suppressed boiled, expanded, then cooled and evaporated, repeatedly. The constantly changing weight made Seoryeong feel completely drained. Her body swayed, and at that moment, Kim Hyeon quickly stepped forward and caught her wrist. Seoryeong hid her dark feelings and asked: “While living with me, was there anything that weighed you down? Wasn’t this marriage just a task for you?”
“…….”
Without answering, he locked one of Seoryeong’s wrists with a handcuff.
“From now on, Han Seoryeong will be taken back to her home country and investigated on charges of violating international maritime law and national security laws.”
The cold steel on her skin was no colder than Hyeon’s palm.
“And―”
Kim Hyeon rubbed the back of Seoryeong’s hand, which was dry and rough from dried blood.
“Besides your hand…”
“…….”
“Is any other part injured?”
“You… you’re still acting, aren’t you?”
Seoryeong frowned unconsciously.
“You don’t need to act like my husband… or like when you’re working.”
Kim Hyeon’s expression looked as if it had been pierced by iron bars. Just for a moment. Seoryeong, who had erased all her emotions like grains of sand, locked the other handcuff on Hyeon’s wrist and then lunged at him roughly. She crossed her legs around the man’s waist and with a new knife, she deeply slashed his cheek. It happened in an instant. She gripped Kim Hyeon’s face like a wild beast attacking and refusing to let go.
“――!”
The man struggled to push her away, but his strength didn’t feel truly vicious. The more he did, the more Seoryeong went crazy. Like a rabid dog that had been starving for days, she shook her head left and right, trying to tear his skin. Tough but firm flesh felt torn between her teeth. Whether it was real flesh or artificial skin, she didn’t care. But because the man didn’t make a sound of pain, it was probably not real skin. In that state, while drooling, she asked: “Who the hell are you!”
“Han Seo…! You could get hurt! Let go…! Let go…!”
But even as Hyeon pushed her, he still supported Seoryeong’s buttocks. The woman tightened her grip on Hyeon’s head and applied pressure. Just as she bit down hard enough to almost see the man’s neck bone― “Ugh…!”
The area near the blood vessels throbbed as if it would explode. The sensation of a cold liquid from an injection piercing her skin felt so real. Hyeon, with a grimacing face, plunged a syringe into the back of her neck. Seoryeong cursed unconsciously, and the man continued to hold her like a baby with an unchanging, hard face.
“It’s okay. It won’t hurt. You’ll be alright.”
With a terrifying face and torn cheeks, he whispered that. Seoryeong bit her tongue. No… I should have bitten harder!
“No… you’re going to leave again… leave me again…”
“I won’t leave.”
“Liar…”
“When you wake up, I’ll be by your side.”
Seoryeong dropped her head onto that broad shoulder. In her blurring vision, that warmth truly felt like her own husband. You bastard… even until the end…! But this shoulder, harder than Kim Hyeon’s… this shoulder, so strong and familiar… Her consciousness felt pulled down as if by the hair. Panicked, Seoryeong shook her wrist. Fortunately, the handcuff was securely locked.
“Haa…―.”
Kim Hyeon pressed his face against the back of Seoryeong’s neck and took a long breath. He hugged that frail body tightly as if he would never let go again. Just before her consciousness completely broke, Seoryeong heard a faint whisper. It was never heavy. Not even a little bit. The touch of the hand patting her back felt so warm that it made her want to cry.