Although we had just gone through something big, the atmosphere felt calm—something I hadn’t felt in a long time. When our eyes met, the faint edges of his irises, like shark fins, clearly framed his pupils. Even though it wasn’t flower season yet, my chest felt nauseous. Should I wear lenses again? While I was thinking about that absurd thing, Lee Wooshin opened his narrow eyes first and asked. His face did look happy to see me, but his tone was low and full of complaint.
“My neck hurts and is throbbing, aren’t you going to say anything?”
Ah… it seems he’s talking about when he fainted.
“You told me I had to trust you.”
“That…”
“I don’t like being anesthetized. Stitches on a wound like this are more comfortable when I’m conscious. Who knows what could happen on the operating table. If only that sly person hadn’t cowardly hit the instructor’s neck, maybe this kind of compromise wouldn’t have been necessary.”
“……”
“What’s with that expression?”
Lee Wooshin raised his eyebrows slightly, then fell silent. Seoryeong felt that she might have unconsciously shown a stiff expression, so she got up without saying anything. She lowered her gaze, not wanting to make direct eye contact, then began to untangle her messy hair and tie it back. As her fingers slowly combed through her hair and twisted the hair tie twice, she said calmly, “Yesterday, Instructor was just looking for the beautiful one.”
“What?”
“Instructor’s wife.”
“……!”
“You angrily told me to send her a message.”
“…Wait.”
“But you still didn’t mention her name or phone number until the end.”
“…….”
“Could she be a celebrity?”
Seeing the man’s face, which looked genuinely confused, Seoryeong felt that maybe her question had hit the mark. Come on, who doesn’t have a former partner they once loved… I used to have a husband as handsome as a carved statue…. She rubbed her face, which was starting to look dull, then got off the bed and walked towards the treatment room door. I thought I would feel better after sleeping, but as soon as I saw Lee Wooshin again, all the things I hadn’t fully ignored flowed back, as if from a frozen package that hadn’t thawed. I’m not beautiful, she is beautiful… But if we fought, I would definitely win. I would definitely win in a wrestling match, and in a fight too. Then an inexplicable shame arose. With childish thoughts that even elementary school kids probably wouldn’t have, Seoryeong frowned, scolding herself. It felt better like before—being thrown into a puddle and glaring hatefully at the Instructor.
“Wait, Han Seoryeong. You’ve misunderstood.”
Lee Wooshin finally came to his senses and tried to grab her hand, but his injured leg didn’t support him. As the sound of dragging steps was heard, Seoryeong finally turned around with a dissatisfied look.
“Don’t walk.”
“Then, don’t go far. That’s enough.”
“…….”
Seoryeong took a deep breath and began her sentence, looking at the man who seemed anxious.
“You know, I still hate Kim Hyeon. But about the other thing, I agree with what you offered.”
“……!”
“Is it… because you also can’t forget someone like me? Because you want to keep your wife in your heart, and then out of guilt, you say things as if everything is okay?”
“What?”
“If you think that’s fair, I don’t want it.”
Seoryeong furrowed her brow deeply.
“Doesn’t that feel like living as four people?”
The thought that came out of her mouth so easily only made her feelings worse. No, this can’t continue like this. Lee Wooshin is no longer my colleague or conspirator. Even now, he’s actually becoming an obstacle. Seoryeong instinctively realized that she had to stay away from this man, at least for a while.
“I’m sorry, I’m not very good at putting myself in your shoes. But… as for me, it’s okay―”
Seoryeong placed her hand on her waist and lowered her head deeply, as if showing her weakest side.
“As for Instructor… it’s not okay.”
“……!”
“It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But I don’t like sharing.”
Seoryeong scratched her furrowed forehead, then opened the sliding door.
“So, don’t go wandering around with the nurses, okay?”
As soon as she stepped out of the treatment room—CRASH! A loud sound echoed, piercing her eardrums. Seoryeong flinched and turned around. On the floor, a wheelchair lay overturned, its wheels still spinning slowly. In the strange silence, Lee Wooshin stood crookedly next to the overturned wheelchair, then reached out his hand with a cold expression.
“Don’t ignore your Instructor. Come here, get closer.”
“……!”
“Talk to me up close.”
“What is all this….”
“You don’t need to understand putting yourself in my shoes, just come here.”
He rubbed his face restlessly, then moved his wrist as if pleading.
“When did I say we were living as four? I said we were going as two.”
It was hard to tell if he was angry or not. His face gave no clues. At that moment, Lee Wooshin spread both his arms wide. Seoryeong, who had frozen, could only look at him in silence. Even the man’s face showed a faint anxiety.
“Seoryeong, the one who’s injured is me, not you.”
“…….”
Look at his impulsive nature. Who welcomes someone with both arms wide open? Even though he was pretending to be sick, his fresh face and broad shoulders didn’t look like a patient. His slender and long body looked as if it was ready to jump out the window at any moment, full of tension like a violin string.
“Think carefully. If I go over there, I’ll lock the door.”
“…….”
“By the way, today is my birthday.”
“…….”
“If you don’t move now, you’ll have to make up for it tenfold later.”
He was indeed exceptional at making people lose their words.
---
In the end, Seoryeong lost. She approached like a defeated soldier, righted the overturned wheelchair, and then fell into Lee Wooshin’s embrace. It took until warm sweat began to trickle down her neck for her to break free from him. After finishing getting ready for a walk, the two of them tidied their clothes and headed to the indoor garden. Seoryeong pushed the man’s wheelchair, passing through the beautifully designed paths.
“I don’t actually like walks like this, ones without a purpose.”
Seoryeong looked at Lee Wooshin’s long, thick neck, which was below her eye level.
“Why?”
“You must know the feeling too, Han Seoryeong. When moving to an operation site, the basis is always a quick run. Whether entering or retreating, someone who can walk and run well will finish everything without problems. But just strolling like this…”
He stopped talking for a moment. Meanwhile, Seoryeong looked at the changing seasons with a feeling different from usual. On a path like this, could Kim Hyeon have ever held my hand that couldn’t see and guided me? When his vision slowly disappeared until he was completely blind. When he couldn’t even take a step without that hand’s help. Kim Hyeon always easily lifted Seoryeong, who had fallen as if into a narrow pit, and brought her to stand under the sunlight.
“…All that remains in my memory is the passing seasons, and I hate it.”
“…….”
Seoryeong suppressed the old memory that had unconsciously surfaced, then tucked the blanket that had fallen from Lee Wooshin’s shoulder back in. As her hand briefly touched his and quickly moved away, Lee Wooshin lowered his head and smiled faintly. Soon after, he stopped the wheelchair in a sunny spot and sat down on a bench. Seoryeong hesitated, then spoke first.
“But… today is your birthday, right?”
“I did use it as an excuse, but I don’t actually celebrate it.”
Lee Wooshin’s face instantly hardened, as if he had just heard a topic he hated even more than taking walks.
“I don’t even like calling it a ‘birthday.’ I hate that word.”
“…….”
Even I, who was raised in an orphanage, still blew out candles on a choco pie with a few sticks of candles while singing a birthday song. Come to think of it, besides the fact that his grandfather was Russian, I didn’t know anything about him. Seoryeong fell silent for a moment. Russia… It’s Russia again….
Her gaze suddenly deepened.
“When I was little, on my birthday, my parents died. A few years later, on another birthday, my house exploded in an accident. And on the birthday when I became an adult, the colleagues who had raised and supported me wholeheartedly—they stabbed me in the back.”
“……!”
“Maybe they were after my wealth. Those mercenaries I considered family brought me a cake, lit candles, set off firecrackers while drunk, and then suddenly attacked me all together. I can never forget their faces.”
I don’t know what kind of hell he had gone through. But all my attention was now focused on Lee Wooshin’s past, which I was hearing for the first time. Even though the ground had thawed and a warm breeze had begun to blow, I felt nothing. He stared for a long time at the small child patients running around in the garden, then laughed dryly. His face seemed to say that everything was okay now.
“What’s good about a day like that, which only invites misfortune. For me, it’s just a day I want to erase.”
Lee Wooshin smiled as beautifully as a painting with the corners of his handsome lips, but from the man who didn’t celebrate his birthday, a hint of self-loathing occasionally appeared. Seoryeong looked at his mask-like face, then suddenly pulled his wheelchair. The silently spinning wheels stopped right in front of the bench where Seoryeong was sitting. Their knees touched. Every time Kim Hyeon’s birthday arrived, Seoryeong always felt sad. She wanted to bring him a beautiful cake, but for some reason, every year was unlucky: the cake would fall and get ruined, or when she wanted to buy a nice gift and went to the mall, she would accidentally drop expensive perfume, and she hadn’t set foot there since. She felt guilty for marrying a man whose wife was imperfect. Unable to give proper congratulations, unable to give love like others. And that guilt always appeared like a plague every time Kim Hyeon’s birthday arrived—a day that should have been the happiest for him. Whatever she prepared felt insufficient. She even wanted to give her whole body—besides her blind eyes—if it could make up for everything. But unable to express her tangled feelings, she could only hand over a pen. And having to smile cleanly in front of Kim Hyeon, who shyly accepted it—it was painful. Just then, from behind the wheelchair, the laughter of children chasing a bouncing ball could be heard. Seoryeong tightly gripped the armrests of the wheelchair and bent forward. Lee Wooshin’s eyes widened. Hyeon, I’m sorry. It seems I really am the worst woman in the world.
“――!”
With her eyes tightly closed, Seoryeong kissed his lips.