“You can stay here, just like this, with me.”
‘With me, let’s leave this world.’ That cold voice suddenly sounded like Kiya’s. Then, the unease that had gathered at the corner of my eyes felt like it was strangely subsiding. Huh… Seoryeong took a deep breath, trying to calm her nervousness. Worry would only bring more worry. If he knew these special security team members, and if it was Lee Wooshin, they would definitely come here. He knew they weren’t people who would be easily taken out. So, he had to remain calm. Seoryeong began to plan his next steps. It was better to restrain himself than to waste energy on emotions, and he also had to take control of this situation. If, at the last moment, the team members arrived, and he couldn’t stand on his own, it would be incredibly embarrassing. So, couldn’t this detention be an opportunity, rather than a crisis?
“…”
Seoryeong, who had been awake for several days, his eyes grimy after the long journey, looked around. He started from kidnapping the parking attendant at the Grand Hotel, meeting the fake Kim Hyeon, and ended up in a relationship with Lee Wooshin. Without a moment’s rest, he had even reached this place, Sakhalin. Hmm… Maybe I should rest first. Her mind was quick. After her tense body finally relaxed, she felt her body fall lightly. This sudden act of lying down on the bed made Kiya look confused. Seoryeong exhaled her gathered breath and closed her eyes comfortably. Finally, she felt the sensation of the soft bed.
“Is there any instant ramen?”
“… What?”
“You said there were many things you wanted to talk about. Aren’t there any snacks like that?”
“… Snacks?”
“How about a sleeping mask?”
“…”
“Is there any Neplex?”
“…”
“Are there any books to read?”
Kiya fell silent, and Seoryeong opened her eyes without a sound. A sharp, reproachful gaze was directed at him.
“Honestly, if you don’t even understand basic things, how can you imprison someone?”
“Ah…”
Seoryeong sighed and muttered without emotion, while Kiya just blinked his eyes in confusion.
“Priest, go and cook something.”
Kiya’s eyes flickered in bewilderment, looking lost. Slurp, slurp. Seoryeong was busy eating instant ramen while holding down the annoying chain with her sleeve. She blew on the still-hot noodle broth, then looked at Kiya, who had been standing with a strange expression since earlier.
“The noodles are a bit too soggy.”
Kiya folded his arms and muttered.
“So good at doing bad things, but it seems you’ve never tried instant food. This broth is bland, and there isn’t even any kimchi to go with it. In the future, perhaps more attention should be paid to… a Sonya like you, right?”
“…”
“Personally, I think showing consideration is important in matters like this.”
Seoryeong took a large slurp and shrugged. She began to comment on everything, from the handcuffs her was wearing, the size of the room, the lights, the wallpaper, the floor, the heater, to the portable toilet that was there. Everything was very detailed, like a consumer giving a review. This feels rough, cramped, too dark, cold, unhygienic, and so on. Kiya approached and sat on the other side of the bed with narrowed eyes.
“I… it feels like we can’t communicate well.”
Kiya looked frustrated and held the chain tightly.
“Sonya, listen carefully. There’s something wrong with your memory. To be precise, you don’t remember anything before the age of ten. Your real name isn’t Seoryeong, it’s Sonya.”
“…!”
“You’re from Sakhalin, raised with your siblings at this monastery.”
“What else…”
“Listen until the end!”
With an expressionless face, Kiya suddenly shouted loudly.
“If you don’t accept this reality, you’ll never know… Why the NIS and Kim Hyeon did that to you, not even a little bit…”
“…!”
Seoryeong held her breath at the sudden mention of her husband’s name.
“Since we were young, we were trained in a circus. Our teachers sent us out to earn money. Since long ago, Korean children have been handed over to Russia.”
“…”
“Do you know what we memorized every day while we were beaten?”
Kiya’s vacant eyes suddenly focused sharply. This story was completely foreign and new to Seoryeong. Memories before the age of ten? What could I remember about my childhood, when I was raised in an orphanage… But before the orphanage, why does it feel like there’s something blurry and blocked? Why is it like this… It felt like there was a clear glass barrier blocking my thoughts. I wasn’t sleepy, but suddenly I felt like I was trapped in confusion.
Seoryeong felt anxious and strongly pinched her cheek. Kiya clasped both his hands as if praying and closed his eyes.
“Everything that the beasts of the earth see, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, all are forced to receive a mark on their right hand or their forehead… And only those who have the mark can buy or sell… Revelation 13:14—”
Although his words sounded foreign like a foreign language, Kiya’s expression could be read clearly.
“I… damn it, I can’t erase that memory.”
“…”
“There’s only me, my head is still intact, Sonya. Only me. I’ve never forgotten that.”
“…”
“I killed someone for the first time so you wouldn’t be sent to those pigs, and I became the fastest among my siblings. I looked clean next to you. I didn’t know what it meant back then, but now I understand. I know what God is.”
That sharp gaze grew deeper and more fragile.
“But, when I opened my eyes, you were gone. I never believed you were dead.”
“…!”
“So, I searched for you, from a country whose name I didn’t even know, all the way to Sakhalin… It’s been three years.”
The time spent walking barefoot on the streets. He smiled with a sullen expression, placing his forehead on the back of Seoryeong’s hand. His drooping head looked tired, but there was also an element of childishness.
“So please, stay by my side now.”
However, there was no warmth in their clasped hands. The priest, who was groping in the shadows, looked similar to him, but like seeing an object displayed in a glass case, no feelings arose. Seoryeong pulled her hand away and said.
“I’m sorry, but it seems those memories aren’t mine, Father.”
“……!”
“What I want to find isn’t childhood memories.”
Here, she had to make everything clear. No one else should get hurt, neither her nor the other members, because of this issue. With that resolve, she spoke firmly, then Kiya shivered and shouted.
“This isn’t some other issue, it’s your issue…! It’s about finding your essence that was once called Sonya!”
“Then, what’s the point of finding that?”
“……!”
“I’m already twenty-eight years old, and hearing such words now doesn’t evoke any feelings. Will what happened when I was ten, or where I was born, change who I am?”
“Sonya, aren’t you curious?”
Kiya, with his lips tightly closed, looked disappointed for some reason.
“You know why you had to get married because of those NIS people…!”
“Because I love him.”
“……!”
Kiya looked frozen, as if facing something alien. His gaze that swept across Seoryeong’s face felt cold and stiff. His face, which had been pale, began to show hesitation, as if he couldn’t determine whether he was crying or laughing. His white eyes slowly turned red.
“Then I―!”
Kiya dropped the remaining instant ramen container, like someone who felt betrayed. His face looked gloomy. In an instant, the floor became dirty, and the priest sighed roughly with an increasingly sharp gaze.
“I’ve endured this far just for you…! Why are you, my Sonya, trying to bury everything―!”
His disheveled face displayed despair. His wet eyes were mixed with hatred.
“Don’t misunderstand…! This isn’t about love, it’s all because of your father, everything started because of your father!”
An icy silence enveloped the room. Seoryeong remained unblinking, while Kiya busied himself observing her.
A hope twisted fiercely continued. When time seemed to stop and even the sound of their breathing froze, Seoryeong tilted her head slightly. Her blank face broke the silence.
“So, it’s my fault, isn’t it? The NIS approaching me, Kim Hyeon retreating, and all the reasons I had to leave, all of that is because of my father…―”
Seoryeong, who continued speaking, suddenly smiled faintly. Father, father. She repeated the word several times, chuckling cynically. The word didn’t come out well. He squeezed the back of his neck while saying, with an attitude that didn’t care much, as if carelessly reading someone else’s book.
“So just because of that, you want to live together in this cramped room?”
“I know everything, I know who Kim Hyeon is.”
“……!”
Seoryeong’s eyes flickered for a moment.
“So you want to finish quickly, right? Then, just find Kim Hyeon and settle things? Then, you’ll live with me without hesitation? If you want to take care of Kim Hyeon’s corpse, I’ll help. If that’s what you want, I can help right now… hakh!”
Suddenly, chopsticks were pressed against Seoryeong’s throat. He uttered cold words.
“Don’t casually mention the word corpse.”
“……!”
“And it seems you misunderstood, Father. I, even if confined in this cramped room, will stay with my husband, and even if I have to kill him, I will do it myself, without anyone’s interference. But who will bother whom?”
“…….”
“If I am to stay in this monastery, the room next to mine must be Kim Hyeon’s.”
“You……!”
“When night comes, I will move there, and during the day I will keep out the sunlight, slowly drying that person’s blood, watching his aging face. Sometimes there will be a foul odor, but even that will cling to my clothes.
Understand?”
Kiya’s face slowly hardened. Once again, he looked like he was seeing something alien.
“Go and don’t interfere in other people’s marital squabbles.”