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Having finished speaking, Eileen for a moment bit her cheek from the inside.
She’d rashly assumed that she understood Cesare's thoughts and expressed herself too freely.
Now she was overcome by a belated concern that, possibly, she had behaved too boldly.
Not daring to look in his face, she lowered her gaze.
In an anxious mood she tried stealthily to remove the hand which she held.
But before their joined hands were parted, Cesare again firmly squeezed it.
His grip turned out to be quite coarse.
When Eileen started from the unexpectedness, he immediately eased the pressure.
Although the hand noticeably relaxed, he all the same didn't let it out.
For some time they simply stood, holding hands.
Drip-drop—wet drops fell on the cheek.
Soon around them rain drizzled.
*‘The sky is gloomy today,’* she thought, and here again rain began.
Fortunately, it was not such strong as yesterday.
Small drops fell through the leaves of trees.
Cesare and Eileen gradually were getting wet.
But no one suggested to go into the mansion.
They simply stood under the orange tree.
Unknown how much they thus stood.
Cesare deeply exhaled and let go Eileen's hand.
Instead of this he reached out a handkerchief, put it in her hand and took off his uniform jacket.
Then draped it over Eileen's head.
Having found herself under the voluminous jacket, Eileen lifted to him a gaze.
Cesare wiped the wet face with the back of his hand and said:
"Go inside."
But Eileen shook her head.
"I want to be nearby you, Cesare-nim."
He touched with fingers the neck on which traces of his hands remained, and asked again:
"Even after such as that?"
"Yes."
Seeing that Eileen didn't even think of retreating, Cesare suppressed a hollow smirk.
Then spoke calmingly:
"It's all because of the tobacco."
Saying that she would smell of it, and advising to go inside, he a little more adjusted the jacket draped over her head.
Firmly squeezing his jacket and handkerchief, Eileen asked:
"It is all in order.
Is it possible for me to stay with you?"
"..."
"I want to watch how you smoke."
Since childhood Eileen had loved to observe plants.
She carefully studied and detailedly recorded all about them, but in actual fact she had an object which interested her more than plants.
It was Cesare.
Since they met, he had been the most interesting object in her world.
Each time seeing him, Eileen scrupulously recorded in the diary all new that she learned of him.
She wanted to know more about that Cesare whom she didn't know.
Today, watching how he smoked, she sensed an unfamiliar feeling and wanted to sort it out in more detail.
But the desire to observe new facets of Cesare was not the strongest and sharpest.
*‘I don't want to leave Cesare-nim alone.’*
Yesterday and today he seemed vulnerable.
As-if a person having directed a blade at himself.
The thought of that she wants to protect the man who, it seemed, shouldn't have fears, was so absurd that she didn't dare to say this out loud, but now she wanted to be nearby him.
*‘You even say strange things...’*
Knowing that he was not of those who could be troubled by dreams, she worried even stronger.
To her it was indifferent that in the dream Cesare had killed her.
She’d already decided to give him her life in reality, so what significance did it have how many times she would die in the dream?
She wanted to tell him of her thoughts, but feared that she would be scolded, and didn't dare to start speaking.
Simply stood and silently waited for his answer.
When Eileen, not gathering to go inside, only looked at him, Cesare frowned.
He pulled her closer so that she would get wet less, reached out a new cigarette, lit it and muttered:
"I was mistaken."
With a light hiss on the tip of the cigarette a red light flared up.
Holding it between fingers, he said:
"I should have taught you how to beware of me."
Cesare narrowed eyes and looked at Eileen.
In soul she countered that even if he had taught her, it wouldn't have worked for her.
Of course, she didn't pronounce this out loud.
Then he silently smoked.
Eileen quietly stood nearby.
Only the sound of drops drumming on the leaves filled the silence.
Wet black locks stuck to the pale skin.
The man, having lowered eyes and with an indifferent face smoking a cigarette, from time to time turned his head to the side, releasing smoke.
Each time Eileen wrinkled her nose.
The scent was sharp, but once it issued from Cesare, she didn't object.
When Ornella smoked, it was simply unpleasant.
Fascinatedly watching Cesare smoking under the orange tree in the rainy evening, she unexpectedly for herself asked:
"And is it possible for me to try?"
Cesare, smoking the cigarette, smirked as-if her question were absurd.
"What, want to try all that I do?"
"No, but..."
She expected a categorical refusal, but, to her surprise, he didn't say "no." Instead of this Cesare passed to her his cigarette.
Unexpectedly having received the cigarette in mouth, Eileen blinked.
He didn't give any explanations, and she, knowing nothing, sharply inhaled.
Then set to coughing loudly.
Sharp smoke forced her eyes to water.
Face reddened from coughing, and he, having quenched the cigarette in the ashtray, snatched from her the handkerchief which he’d given earlier and wiped her mouth, she continuing to cough.
"After such as this it's unlikely you'll decide to repeat."
Although the words sounded mockingly, Eileen, it seems, understood why he so acted.
Probably, he wanted to warn that not all that he gives to her will be pleasant.
Cesare didn't even try to hide his intentions, showing them so clearly that even the unobservant Eileen could discern them.
Eileen lifted to Cesare eyes full of tears.
Cesare intently looked at her from above down.
Their gazes met for a long time.
Suddenly Eileen thought: *‘Now I am fully surrounded by Cesare.
His clothes, the smoke from his cigarette, the tracks on my neck...
All this enfolded me.’*
Having draped over herself his large spacious clothes, protecting from the drops, she moved her lips.
"Cesare-nim."
Having caught his red gaze, she whispered with a hoarse voice:
"Possibly, I don't seem to you reliable, but I will do all possible.
So..."
In the neck arose a weak pain.
Eileen swallowed, trying to drown it out.
Having gritted teeth, she continued:
"If there is even anything by which I can help you, tell me."
How she’d have wanted to take his pain on herself.
With this hot desire she looked at him as-if entreating.
Red eyes even in the darkness preserved a bright color.
Their strange, nearly non-human brilliance pierced the heart as a blade.
Unconsciously having held breath, she waited for his answer.
At some moment Cesare slightly smiled.
He jerked at his jacket draped over Eileen.
With the sound "thud" it fell on the wet ground.
Not turning attention to the jacket soiled with mud, he with both hands took Eileen by the cheeks.
Then leaned and cautiously kissed her.
Under the sounds of rain, under the orange tree, their lips met.
Eileen closed eyes and answered the kiss.
For some time they kissed calmly, until Cesare slowly didn't pull away.
He licked wet lips and stared at Eileen with a piercing gaze.
The man wet from rain radiated a dangerously seductive aura.
For some reason his red eyes seemed even brighter than before.
"To make caution appear in you..." His eyes suddenly narrowed.
Cesare lowered voice and whispered in Eileen's ear: "I'll have to act even worse."