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One cannot have everything.
If you acquire something, you also lose something.
Eileen decided not to regret her choice.
But avoiding regret about the path not taken was impossible.
She sat opposite him at the old kitchen table and took a sandwich.
Taking a big bite, she as if chewed and swallowed along with it her empty and meaningless thoughts.
The sandwich was tasty.
Although it was made from the same ingredients and in the same way, the taste seemed strangely rich compared to when she ate alone.
Having stuffed her mouth, she thought about this huge difference in taste.
There had been only one change.
The person.
Maybe it was because Cesare had neatly sliced the baguette, but more likely, it was simply pleasant to be with him.
How can one not receive pleasure when eating in a favorite place with the most beloved person.
*‘Tasty.’* She was eating the sandwich with appetite when she felt a tickling gaze, from which her movements slowed.
Casting a look across, she saw that Cesare was gazing intently at her.
Eileen held the sandwich with one hand, and with the other ran over her cheek and lips.
Just in case, as if something had stuck.
Cesare continued to look at her with a smile in his voice: "Nothing stuck.
Nothing at all."
"Then why..."
"I’ve long wanted to look into your eyes." He narrowed his narrow eyes.
"Had I known the reason, I would have torn them off long ago."
For a moment she was lost: was he talking about her glasses or about clothes?
But the latter was unlikely, so she cautiously answered Cesare: "Your Grace."
"Your Grace?" The short question made her immediately correct herself.
"Che-Cesare-nim, if it pleases you, then I will wear them like this.
This way I will look less gloomy."
The eyes still troubled her.
But since Cesare had said he liked it, she decided to gather courage.
Honestly speaking, it would be ridiculous to wear a sparkling wedding dress with disheveled hair and glasses.
*‘And if the dress is bright, attention won't be chained to the face.
I'll ask to minimize hair decorations.
So that attention isn't drawn to the face.’*
Thinking about how the atelier owner would faint from such thoughts, Eileen stole a glance at Cesare's sandwich.
"And you don't like the sandwich?"
He hadn't made a single bite yet.
She felt awkward, for she had eaten with huge appetite.
She had confidently prepared it, for only needing to assemble ingredients, but apparently something had gone wrong.
Apparently she really had no talent for cooking.
"For me... it seems tasty..." She looked into the sandwich as if checking, and sauce dripped on her hand.
Continuing to show her clumsiness, she mentally called herself a fool.
Cesare beckoned her.
She didn't take the sandwich held out to her, but instead held out her hand, stained with sauce.
The table was not wide, and he easily grabbed her wrist.
She thought he wanted to wipe her hand, but something completely unexpected happened.
"Ah!"
He licked her finger.
While she trembled from shock, his red tongue quickly slid over the finger.
He tasted even the pink nail, slightly bit the tip, and only then let go of her wrist.
The sauce vanished, but on the finger remained a faint tooth mark.
She looked distractedly at the mark, and then at Cesare.
Only then did he bite the sandwich and answer:
"For me too it seems tasty.
Well prepared."
His calm evaluation made Eileen turn red.
She powerlessly waved her bitten hand in the air, then cautiously took the sandwich and continued eating.
But unlike the last time, she didn't feel the taste.
Mechanically biting and swallowing, she tried not to look at the bitten finger.
When Cesare did such things, she was afraid, but it wasn't unpleasant to her.
In fact, something else embarrassed her.
When he behaved sexually with her, she felt strange.
Every time she felt this strange feeling, her back went numb, and between her legs began to tickle.
If it were just ticklish, everything would be fine, but the problem was that she was constantly getting a bit wet.
She had already more than once felt her panties sticking, leaving a sticky feeling.
Every time, seeing the round wet marks on her panties, Eileen plunged into self-deprecation because of her immodesty.
It seemed she had started pursuing only lustful desires.
Although Cesare had awakened new sensations in the nothing-knowing Eileen, in this was something unfair...
Now it was the same.
The strange feeling that had started when he rubbed her palm in the living room still remained in her body.
And when he’d just licked her finger with his tongue, it had begun to rage wildly inside.
*‘What to do...’* Eileen closed her eyes tight.
Because of the sensations in the intimate place, she couldn't concentrate on food.
She set aside the sandwich, eaten more than halfway, and stole a glance at Cesare.
He had already finished his sandwich and was now watching her closely.
Eileen quickly lowered her gaze to the table.
If their eyes met, he would read all her lewd thoughts.
"Eileen."
"Y-yes?!" Immersed in her thoughts, Eileen jumped so strongly her shoulders jerked.
Her voice, having broken, pierced the quiet ceiling of the brick house.
"What are you thinking about?" She couldn't answer immediately, and Cesare repeated the question in a tone as if asking about the taste of the sandwich.
"Lewd thoughts?"
Eileen froze with mouth open.
She should have said "no," but the moment was already lost.
What to do.
What to do indeed.
In her head flashed a multitude of thoughts, but in the end she said not a word and lowered her head.
She wanted to cry.
Now for him she’d become a person who couldn't even cut her own hair, couldn't cook, and thought only of lewdness.
For Eileen, who wanted to look worthy in Cesare's eyes, this was true misfortune.
Cesare for a moment covered his lips with the back of a hand.
But the eyes above the hand were already full of laughter.
Not understanding why he was laughing, Eileen looked with sadness at the unfinished sandwich.
In such moments she wished bangs and glasses could at least slightly hide her face...
She thought of this with regret.
"Your bedroom is just the same." His voice sounded languid, and she slowly raised her gaze.
He was smiling so that it could lead into delusion.
"Show me, Eileen."
"...".
All was lost.
Now all was completely lost.
Whatever Cesare said, only lewd thoughts arose in her.
Eileen jumped up, grabbed the empty plate, and fled to the kitchen.
She wanted to hide from embarrassment, but Cesare caught up with her in a few steps.
"On the second floor there is nothing special...
But if you want to look, let's go together."
Unwillingly she headed for the stairs, but her body suddenly rose up.
He lifted her in his arms.
"Ah!
Your Grace!"
"Again you."
"Oh, forgive me.
Cesare-nim, please lower me."
"You have small feet, it's dangerous." Cesare went up the stairs, holding Eileen, who was wriggling in his arms.
The assertion that small feet made the stairs dangerous was absurd.
But Cesare didn't let her go, and in the end she submissively reached the second floor in his arms.
On the second floor were her bedroom, a storeroom, and a small study.
Although there was nothing that could interest him, Cesare inspected the floor with great attention.
Then he entered her bedroom and sighed quietly.
Cesare took a deep breath and exhaled.
He ran a gaze over the cozy bed, small table, sofa, wardrobe, and bathroom.
Finally he looked at Eileen, still sitting in his arms.
She fidgeted restlessly from awkwardness, but, meeting his gaze, involuntarily froze.
Waves rose in his red eyes.
A quiet whisper touched her ear.
"Only your scent is everywhere."