Herdin frowned slightly.
It was the first time I had seen Blair so sharp.
Meeting those violet eyes filled with resentment, he let out a hollow laugh.
Does someone who knows this very well dedicate themselves to doing these very suspicious things?
The accumulated suspicions surfaced uncontrollably, turned into a sharp knife.
—If you know, from now on, wherever you go, do it with an escort.
So that I don't have to continue worrying.
He let out a sigh, covered his eyes with his big hand, and then slowly opened them.
His Adam's apple moved as he struggled to suppress his emotions.
—I…
Before Blair could raise her voice any further, Herdin spoke in a restrained tone and simply turned around.
—…Wash up and come down.
He must be hungry.
Blair watched his back as he left the room without giving her time to stop him.
On that back, suddenly, a memory from the past was superimposed.
He always acted like this.
They would argue loudly, and suddenly he would stop and walk away.
As if to prevent the emotional gap from deepening further.
Although she was left with a feeling of frustration, without having been able to solve anything.
Without knowing that, precisely that attitude, he dug an even deeper ditch between his feelings.
Blair had no choice but to just stare at his back as he walked away.
His broad back receding, the door closing coldly.
That was the insurmountable wall between the two.
Before the regression, I was afraid to open that door and ignored it.
She was terrified of opening it, clinging to him, getting angry, crying, and that at the end of that crash there would only be the end of their relationship.
That's why he never opened it.
But...
His eyes, containing tears about to flow, rested on the unlit fireplace.
After looking at her for a moment, Blair slowly approached her.
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Herdin, who had gone down to the dining room first, drank wine as an aperitif while he waited for Blair.
I was already on my fifth drink.
As he soothed his dry throat, he remembered the scene from just now.
Red eyes, trembling body, heavy breathing, a woman who seemed to collapse just by touching her.
Why had he let his feelings come out if he wasn't even going to be able to push her any further for fear of something happening to her?
Like a stupid man.
And on top of that, in the middle of everything, wanting to check if she smelled like another man...
His own attitude seemed so ridiculous to him that he let out a mocking laugh.
And if there was another man, what?
When he reached that point, he felt his blood run cold.
He drained the glass of aperitif wine as if it were whiskey and left it empty.
But Mason, who waited behind and usually refilled it on the spot, made no sign of moving.
Herdin called out to him with a somewhat irritated tone.
-Mason.
Only then did Mason approach and expertly fill the glass.
—If you keep drinking on an empty stomach, it's going to go bad.
At her scolding, Herdin let out a mocking laugh for the first time since entering the dining room.
—In your eyes, it seems that I am still a twelve-year-old child without judgment.
—If I was twelve years old, I couldn't drink, so I wouldn't worry so much.
—…This unfunny old grump.
Herdin scolded Mason for taking a joke seriously, but there was no anger in his voice.
Because he remembered the effort of that man so that the twelve-year-old orphan boy became an adult and became the head of a noble family.
Just as he was raising his freshly filled glass, ignoring his concern, the closed dining room door burst open and Ruth burst into the room.
-Excellence!
Ruth's voice denoted urgency.
Herdin stopped the glass he was raising to his lips and frowned at him.
He had a bad feeling.
—The lady…has fainted.
And his hunch turned out to be right.
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Melly was waiting for the lady in the bathroom to help her with the toilet, instead of Lina, who had gone to change her clothes.
The lady had told her that she didn't need help changing and to wait for her there.
But a while passed and Blair didn't appear.
As she left the bathroom and returned to the bedroom with that worried thought, she suddenly remembered Herdin's expression when he left Blair's room a moment ago.
Although he always emanated an aura that was difficult to approach, apart from his handsome face, a while ago he gave off a cold so icy that it was cutting.
To the point that the air itself seemed to hold its breath.
And when Melly came in to assist Blair, she had turned her back on him without showing her face.
But that figure with its back to him had seemed strangely fragile.
He also got the impression that his voice when asking her to wait in the bathroom trembled slightly.
The late and disastrous premonition accelerated Melly's steps.
Almost running, he reached Blair's bedroom door and knocked, but got no answer.
Unable to wait any longer, he opened the door and entered.
A warm heat touched his skin.
The fireplace, which had been out when she came out, was now burning brightly.
And in front of her...
"For heaven's sake, ma'am!"
In front of the fireplace, Blair lay passed out on the floor.
Herdin, upon hearing this, went up immediately, and the family doctor arrived shortly after.
—It seems that he lost consciousness momentarily due to emotional shock.
There is no other abnormality, he will recover with rest.
The doctor left after the examination and a dead silence invaded the room.
It was Lina's crying that broke that stillness.
—Your Highness…
Lina, not daring to approach the headboard where Herdin sat firmly, sobbed through tears and snot.
Herdin's expression hardened as he heard the treatment that escaped Lina's lips.
It had been over a month since Blair became his wife, and he still called her "Your Highness"?
Even his hiccups were annoying.
Herdin ordered without turning:
—…Ruth.
Get her out of here.
Ruth, noticing Herdin's bad mood, quickly took Lina and Melly out of the room.
Maybe it was an impression, but Blair's pale face seemed even whiter, almost livid.
Still, his expression was placid.
Seeing that woman, who had turned the mansion upside down, sleeping so peacefully made him angry.
She didn't understand why someone who wouldn't even go near the fireplace for fear of the fire had fainted in front of it.
Just as Herdin was trying to figure out why, Blair's softly closed eyelids fluttered and then opened.
His eyes, which blinked slowly, moved towards Herdin, who was at his side.
The moment their eyes met, the first feeling that came over him was relief.
Despite the anger that had consumed him moments before, he felt ridiculous.
Blair, who was staring at him, opened her mouth.
-… I fainted?
—Did you approach the fireplace on purpose, knowing that this could happen?
—I wanted to recover my memory.
Because it's not something I can keep burying forever by pretending I don't know...
Hearing the word "memory" leave his lips made her heart skip a beat.
A woman who was afraid to even light the fireplace in the middle of winter had lit it with her own hands.
Because of that memory.
Because of him, for having pressured her with his suspicions.
His voice was calm, without a trace of reproach.
Or maybe she was too exhausted from the incident just now to stay angry.
Herdin clenched his jaw and clenched his fist so tightly his knuckles turned white.
—That doesn't mean you have to resort to such reckless methods.
So don't do something like that again.
Over her icy voice, Blair superimposed memories of her past life.
When she knew that he was pretending to love her to get the truth out of her, and when she knew that he was avoiding her because there seemed to be no hope of achieving it.
Also then, Blair had undergone a hypnosis session on her own and had fallen ill from the aftermath, and Herdin had scolded her when she woke up.
Same as now.
I mean, stay still.As he has done until now.>
The memory of that day when she stopped confronting him for fear of the end of their relationship.
But now, he didn't want that anymore.
—…What if I never recover my memory?
—There will be another way.
Isn't Lady Lorelain trying hard?
—Do you expect me to continue to endure my suspicions in the meantime, trusting that memories that have not returned in ten years will return with a few simple conversations?
At the same time, his breathing became labored.
"Blair!"
Herdin, who was watching her with concern, scolded her while holding her delicate arm.
And immediately, startled by the exalted tone of his own voice, he bit his lip.
The arm he was holding seemed so fragile that it would break with just a little force.
Herdin, composing himself, relaxed the pressure of his hand on her arm and said:
—…Right now you are a patient.
Calm down and stop—
—No, I don't want to.
Blair pulled away from his arm before he finished speaking, resisting.
Herdin's eyes were troubled.
Blair stared at him and continued:
—I will recover my memory, and if it is an unjust accusation, I will clean it.
And if it's true, I'll hate her for the rest of my life.
She did not want to become guilty, nor live tormented by a past she did not remember, without knowing what the truth was.
—Me too… I was sad.
—…
—I had a bad time too.
—…
—I was afraid… having to distrust that person who loved me so much and my mother, having to confirm the truth.
As she began to say what she had kept silent in her past life for fear of confronting him, her suppressed affliction surfaced.
The tears he had held back so much slid down his cheeks.
Blair swallowed back her tears and continued talking.
So that crying would not prevent him from speaking.
—But now, I no longer want to continue living hiding everything without knowing anything, just because it's hard, because I'm afraid.
Herdin's fingertips, looking into Blair's tear-filled eyes, trembled slightly.
He clenched his fist tightly to restrain his hand, which threatened to move on its own.
Although she had looked at him before with eyes on the verge of tears, it was the first time he had seen her tears.
And facing him like that was also something unexpected.
Seeing her like this, he no longer wanted to fight with her.
To begin with, I couldn't even.
—…I made a mistake.
His deep, hoarse voice echoed in the silent room.
—I forgot that our contract is based on cooperation.
And also that this cooperation requires trust.
—…
—From now on, I will not doubt you again or question you like today.
Blair looked at him dazedly as he calmly apologized.
Although she had confronted him openly to avoid repeating the same relationship as in her past life, she never imagined that he would accept and apologize so meekly.
On the one hand, she felt relieved, but a thought suddenly struck her.
Would our ending have been different?Wouldn't we have had to take such a long detour?>
It was a question whose answer he could no longer know.
—Rest now.
She is very exhausted.
Blair lay down on the bed as he instructed.
He had gone out for the first time in a long time, met a stranger, and then passed out.
And to top it all off, she had argued with Herdin, so she was really tired.
Herdin, after making sure Blair was covered with the duvet, got up and walked to the fireplace.
Just when Blair, with only her eyes peeking above the blanket, was looking at his back strangely, her question came to her.
—Are you afraid to light the fireplace?
To his sudden question, Blair didn't know what to answer.
He was scared because of the accident, but he had never admitted to anyone that he was afraid of something that was normal for others.
Partly because Katrina didn't like the subject being brought up, so she tried to hide it.
—Sleep for now.
Herdin grabbed the lighter by the fireplace, set fire to a piece of paper, and threw it inside.
He watched the bed in case Blair had another attack, ready to put out the fire immediately, but, to his relief, shortly afterward he heard steady breathing.
Occasionally it was mixed with a dry cough.
Perhaps because of the heat that was beginning to permeate the room, Blair's pale cheeks showed a slight blush.
Her peacefully sleeping face looked like that of a girl.
Just like the day he met her for the first time.
Over that image that preserved the features of her childhood, Esmeralda's voice suddenly resonated.
Blair is good.Regardless of what your mother is like.
Don't you think the same?>
Suddenly, he remembered the day he met Blair.
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To be exact, it was a week after the day he met her.
A week after the New Year Festival, Herdin visited the Empress's palace again.
He had with him the rabbit fur earmuffs that Blair had lent him.
Esmeralda, upon receiving the earmuffs that Herdin handed her, tilted her head.
"Wow, where did you get something so adorable?" You won't tell me that you have prepared this little thing as a gift for me.
—They were lent to me by Her Highness the Imperial Princess.
I have brought them for Your Majesty to deliver to you.
…To be continued