I felt a familiar fatigue.
That cold feeling that my body is no longer mine, as if I were being pushed to a spectator seat outside the theater.
Then finally I heard a tone of voice that became somewhat familiar, Hilaria's voice.
“Should I take responsibility for every dispute that happens in the palace?”
“What?”
“It seems as if every dispute that occurs between the two groups in the palace is my business.”
“This is not what we're talking about now!”
“What's the difference?”
Yes.
I'm done.
I closed my eyes tightly internally.
What is the difference between what you did and fanning the fire in an already burning house?!
With every word I said, I saw the sparkle in the Emperor's cold eyes grow colder.
“So these are your intentions, Duchess?”
Twisted lips, obvious anger, coldness that extends without concealing the feeling of disgust, and swollen arm muscles as if they are going to explode.
Whether I felt dizzy or not, the body that had taken control of me was shooting cold, harsh words like arrows at Hilaria's tongue.
“I feel aggrieved, Your Majesty.
I don’t understand how an accidental accident that almost seriously injured my student can count as me pushing Louis to death myf.
The accident itf….”
My eyes roamed over the frozen people who were awake, and the guides who were running terrified.
And the magicians who lost their minds and got involved.
“He's everyone's responsibility here, isn't he?”
I saw everyone turning their eyes as if they were guilty, or clicking their tongues in disgust at my position.
‘People, I didn’t want to say this……’
“Besides, if we want to be more precise, the mistake is Your Majesty’s fault, not mine.”
Casey, who was staring quietly, laughed blankly.
"With the Duchess's magic, such energy could have been removed with a single gesture from you.
But you didn't intend to move in the first place, did you?
And yet you claim to be wronged?"
He ran his hand through his hair as if he was very frustrated and gritted his teeth.
"Is this what you call taking responsibility?
It's so light that you don't feel its weight."
Then it seemed as if the Emperor's gaze reached Louis.
I couldn't turn my head, so I just fidgeted internally.
'What does he look like now?'
Casey looked somewhere with pained eyes for a moment, then stared at me again.
“If you weren't going to protect him, you shouldn't have brought him here in the first place.”
I was the one who asked for it.
I wanted to show him the palace, so the responsibility falls on me.
But the cruel Duchess Ariel said nothing.
I saw Casey's face gradually distort.
As if he was waiting for an excuse and then was disappointed.
He clenched his fist so hard it made a distant sound.
“It seemed like I was crazy.”
His red lips uttered words of disdain.
“You were always like this.
How did I forget your annoying behavior that makes others turn away from you?”
“It is an illusion, Your Majesty, of a freedom you enjoy.
I do not know what you saw in me or what you expected, but it regrets it.”
“Duchess!
You really are...!”
“Yes, Your Majesty.
Speak.”
“Huh……”
In fact, what worried me was not the Emperor's anger, but the little boy hearing all this.
I wanted to run to him immediately, grab the little boy's shoulders, hug him, and pat his back.
no.
This is not really the case.
I didn't want to blame you, and this didn't happen because of you.
But Hilaria's body, which was no longer mine, did not look at the young disciple, but was throwing cold words at the Emperor who was scolding me.
“Duchess.”
The sight of seeing his gaze gradually lose its warmth was truly disturbing.
"Thank you."
“For what?”
I know how much kindness those looks can show, and how soft they can become like a dream.
"For making me fully realize that everything was just an illusion of mine.
Thank you very much, dammit."
Because I realized deeply at this moment that this body is not mine.
I am his opponent, his opposite side,
The enemy and rival of the awakened.
This is my site.
“Today, go back to where you came from, Duchess.
I don’t want my eyes to see anything that concerns you.
Not your voice, not your movements, not even your shadow!”
“As you command”
“Cancel today’s report.
And the nobles’ meeting, too, cannot be held in this mood.”
I saw him turning his back firmly and walking with firm steps.
I stared at his back in amazement, and I felt pain somewhere in my chest, but the body that had been stripped of control from me responded calmly.
“Yes.
Then I will return with the wizards.”
I thought his back stopped for a brief moment, but maybe I was delusional.
He muttered a faint curse and moved on,
I saw the awakened people and the guides hurriedly following him in a heavy, stifling atmosphere.
As I stared at them with empty eyes, my gaze met the gaze of the awake man who had started the fight with me first.
For some reason, the Emperor did not follow but stood hesitantly.
Because I was tired of thinking, I didn't care about it.
Although arguing with the Emperor and uttering harsh words was a common thing, now I felt a real burden.
'exhausted.
'I'm tired, really.'
With this thought, my control over my body gradually returned.
I felt blood flowing again into my frozen limbs.
“Huh”
I exhaled deeply and turned to Louis.
I saw his small, round head bowed down, not even raising his eyes.
“Louis.”
When I called him in a cold voice devoid of warmth, I saw his little shoulders trembling.
I felt my heart breaking.
I myf was a miserable guide who did nothing but watch the disgusted looks directed at her.
But, for the sake of my life, I still have to be careful and I cannot even offer this child comfort or a warm touch.
'I'm sorry for being such a coward.'
Sure, someone is making trouble.
If plans are categorized into levels, then I have fallen into a lowly plan.
But the two groups had a very bad relationship, so the accumulated grudge would explode with the slightest friction, as happened today.
‘My relationship with the Emperor has become better than it was originally.
That's why he said he was disappointed.'
I remembered the scenes in the novel in which the Emperor and Duchess Ariel appeared.
It was dark, as if they were blood enemies.
Their conversations were always filled with arrows of contempt and contempt.
The reason he despised the Duchess was because he thought she had a relationship with the opponents who were secretly working against him.
‘In his eyes, he thought she would let him die instead of treating him if he fell injured.’
But that relationship changed with my intervention after the incarnation.
I gradually began to treat the Emperor more easily because I remembered the nights, and the jokes in the dialogues became a little mixed up.
He expected, then was disappointed.
Did this child feel the same about me too?
“Louis.”
At least, I should do this.
I slowly knelt down in front of the child and met his gaze.
I heard sounds of surprise from the non-magicians, but I did not turn around.
I put my hands on the child's shoulders, who still had his head down.
At that moment, I clearly saw my hand, torn apart by the Emperor's Ice, and the blood flowing from it.
The pain I had forgotten came back all at once.
'Ah...so painful.'
The child raised his head slowly.
Tears flowed from his eyes like a broken tap.
I almost forgot the situation and laughed.
I asked, looking at his little red nose.
“Are you hurt somewhere?”
He shook his head quickly.
Louis, who did not speak and shook his little head rapidly, looked pathetic.
I raised my bleeding hand to stroke his hair, but I suddenly stopped.
It may become soiled with blood.
When he saw my hesitation, the child confusedly grabbed my injured hand with both palms.
The child gently held my injured hand and moved his fingers to write something.
─Because of me.
Maybe he means he's sorry
I clutched my hand painfully.
I lowered my bleeding hand and ran my other hand through his hair in an indifferent motion.
"no."
Tok.
I got up and saw his shocked eyes.
“Let's go home.”
This is so annoying that I want to curse, but this is the best consolation I can offer right now.
Today I realized deeply.
I am so helpless in front of the system.