Chapter Title: The Weight of Pride
Late in the evening, the maids had finished their work, and Adele's body carried a sweet fragrance. It was rosewood incense. After a full day of care, her skin was smooth and soft. She looked out the dimly lit window and saw horses coming up the hill, greeted by servants. Adele left the room with a small candlestick. As soon as she opened the door, she stopped, startled. In the dark hallway stood Aegir.
"Sir Aegir. Why are you here?"
Aegir looked surprised. "…Escort…" He couldn't answer properly and stared at the ground. His face was bright red, and his pupils trembled violently. Adele looked down at her attire. She wore a light shawl over a translucent negligee, delicate as a jellyfish.
"I'm fine tonight. Go to bed."
"……."
Aegir hesitated, then asked in a strained voice. "Where… are you going?"
Adele looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "To my brother's room."
"……."
His blue eyes widened as he stared directly at Adele. After standing frozen for a long moment, Aegir's complexion suddenly darkened. He took a few steps back, then turned and quickly disappeared from sight. Adele watched the hallway where he had vanished, then made her way to Cesare's room. The door was not locked. When she pulled the wave-shaped doorknob and entered, she was greeted by a fragrant, sweet scent. Adele neatly arranged her shawl and skirt and sat down on the couch in the middle of the parlor to wait for Cesare.
"…I have contacted the signore…"
"Prudent…"
Soon she heard voices approaching from the hallway. The door opened, and Cesare and Gigi stepped in, looking occupied.
"I've been summoned by the Signoria again. What are you going to do?"
"Those mad old men. You have to strangle their minds once in a while…"
As Cesare entered the room, he spotted Adele and stopped in his tracks. Gigi, coming in behind him, bumped his nose against Cesare's back, then widened his eyes when he spotted Adele over his shoulder. Gigi's gaze darted from side to side before his mouth fell slightly open.
"My lord? I'm going to step out—my stomach suddenly hurts."
Gigi placed the papers on the bare floor and quickly left the room. Silence fell again with the sound of the door closing. Cesare didn't speak, his eyebrows furrowed. Then he slowly raised his hand to cover his face. A terrible curse escaped from beneath his palm. He spoke coldly, not withdrawing his hand.
"…Go back."
Adele blinked. "Why?"
"……."
Cesare sighed as if holding back his anger. He lowered his hand, revealing darkened eyes.
"I'm not in the mood."
"Perhaps it will be different if you try."
"How would you know that when you've never done it?"
"I've heard a lot."
"I don't give a damn. Get out."
His demeanor was intimidating, but it was a naive insult to a native of Kimora.
When Adele didn't move, Cesare shook his head and walked toward the bathing room. His coat and buttons fell to the floor. Finally, Cesare placed his hand on the door frame and looked back at Adele.
"Are you going to keep watching?"
Adele replied flatly. "Show me."
"I'm not in good enough shape to impress you."
"I wasn't beautiful because I wanted to please you."
Adele stood up. She slowly removed the shawl from her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. Even in the dim light, she could tell—Cesare's eyes flickered.
"You bought me."
"……."
"You should claim what's yours." Adele said it with a faint smile. Cesare, whom she had expected to pounce immediately, stood surprisingly still and didn't move. His face looked fierce and confused. He was silent for a long moment, then let out a harsh laugh.
"…So you'll use the money you receive in return to marry Ezra?"
Adele tilted her head. He got angry in the strangest places. "The master is satisfied, and so am I."
"Do you think Ezra will satisfy you?"
"At least he wouldn't offer to sell my body."
Cesare fell silent. Adele approached him casually.
"If you hurt my foot, he would heal it."
"I summoned a physician for you."
"You summoned one after you stepped on it."
She stepped into the bathing room. Bright light flowed over her body. Her skin was visible through the thin fabric. Cesare couldn't take his eyes off her, nor did he leave. The distorted expression on his face was quite satisfying to Adele.
"I'm not going to throw myself into a crowd."
"…I had guards around you."
"I didn't know that, so it would have been quite a spectacle."
Cesare gave a short laugh. His golden eyes were filled with anger—or perhaps resentment.
"So you're dissatisfied? Is this a protest?"
"How dare I. You asked, and I merely answered."
Adele slowly reached out. Her fingers rested on Cesare's chest. It was a hot body, and she could feel his heartbeat.
"Cesare." Adele whispered softly as she took another step closer to him. "Let's go to bed."
It was a soul-stirring whisper. Cesare gritted his teeth and looked down at Adele. A frighteningly beautiful woman was staring up at him with empty eyes. As he gazed into those large eyes set in her slim face, his sanity fled for a moment. There were many unspeakable urges. Cesare took a deep breath and controlled himself. He honestly didn't know why he had to hold onto his composure like this. The only thing that was certain was that Adele didn't feel like the same person she had been before. If he touched her, she might melt away. And somehow, he felt terrified of that.
"…You didn't want to do this."
Adele smiled at the words he uttered as coldly as he could manage.
"Who could enjoy that? I'm not a whore."
She took a step forward and brushed her palm against his chest. Cesare gritted his teeth and stepped back.
"Even without the offer, you still hated me."
Adele shook her head in amusement.
"I don't know. I've said it before, but I've never hated you."
At that, he almost grabbed Adele without thinking. She continued, innocent as a mermaid perched on a rocky island.
"Thanks to you, I was able to leave Kimora, and I don't have to go hungry anymore. To me, you were like a god. I've never hated you."
"……."
It didn't sound like a lie. Wonder stirred within him. Then why? If that were the case, she should have chosen him instead of Ezra. She had even reached out first. After all, if she had sacrificed her body and beauty for the sake of elevating her status…
"Master." Adele spoke as if guessing his thoughts. "He kept asking me. Isn't it the same whether you were sold to a nobleman or sold in Kimora?"
Adele lowered her eyes and smiled bitterly.
"Certainly, there's no difference."
"……."
"I know. I just wanted to justify that it was acceptable because I made the choice. If you don't build up your pride… it's too miserable."
Cesare's eyes widened. A nightmare from long ago resurfaced in his mind. Seven-year-old Cesare watched from a hazy memory as Rowan and Katharina's carriage drove away. Beside him was Eva, who could still speak, holding his hand.
"…Cesare. Neither Rowan nor Katharina left because they hated you."
The seven-year-old had known that. They simply loved each other too much. It was sad, but not unbearably so. He had seen another hope.
"Grandmother. Grandfather loved you more than anything else in the world, didn't he?"
"He did."
"I think Mother and Father felt the same way."
"…Yes. I suppose so."
"When I grow up, there will be someone who loves me that much too, right?"
Eva was taken aback by this. Now, Cesare could understand what Eva must have been thinking. Buonaparte's young heir—he had so much, and there were even more people who wanted to take advantage of him. Eva would not have wanted to see her grandson hurt. He had already been abandoned by his parents.
"…Cesare." So she had grasped her little grandson's hands and said, "Not everyone… can have that kind of love."
Seven-year-old Cesare couldn't understand what she meant. Eva and Atticus. Katharina and Rowan. In the world he had seen, didn't everyone possess absolute, devoted love?
"But Grandmother and Father…"
"Cesare. That… was a very special case. Unusual. That kind of thing… doesn't happen to everyone."
"……."
*It doesn't happen to everyone.* The words shook seven-year-old Cesare's heart. If Eva was right, then he couldn't have the most perfect relationship he imagined. But he didn't have a normal family like everyone else, either. Cesare realized that the moment he dwelt too deeply on the matter, he would be overwhelmed with grief and resentment. From that moment on, he deceived himself.
"Then I'll be free to play for the rest of my life."