During the carriage journey to the capital, I spent much time simply resting—dozing, taking medicine, staring out the window.
As the harsh pain in my chest gradually faded, I found myself reflecting on strange details from my arrival at Rowen. The sweet aromas from night markets. Dried fruits hanging in strings. The meat pies people lined up for at dawn.
When I'd expressed curiosity about one particular dessert, Hannah had bought it. But my damaged body had rejected it immediately—the cold made me cough, and I couldn't swallow even a bite. I'd only tasted vanilla on my lips before spitting it out.
In Valmonde's frozen north, cattle couldn't graze. Cheese, butter, vanilla—all imported from warmer lands. I'd read about ice cream in books and longed to taste it, but even when opportunity finally came, my body had betrayed me.
Traveling was meant to be about experiencing new tastes, new sights. But I'd been forced into marriage, carried away like cargo, all while hiding a terminal illness.
The journey to Kaian and the capital, though, was entirely different.
---
"Yes? Are we there already?"
I woke to Kaian gently patting my shoulder, blinking sleep away. We'd already arrived at the midday rest stop—a charming village I couldn't see clearly the first time because rain had obscured everything during my initial journey to Rowen.
I disembarked, opened my parasol, and placed my hand on Kaian's arm.
"This place is lovely," I observed.
"You didn't see it when we arrived at Rowen?"
"It rained constantly from when we entered your territory until we reached the castle. I was too busy looking around frantically to notice much."
As we walked through the market with Kaian's arm supporting mine, merchants stopped their haggling. Vendors paused mid-transaction. Everyone stared.
*It's happening again.*
At Valmonde, I'd been treated as invisible. After dancing with my uncle at my debutante ball, I'd never been asked to dance again. I was a wallflower—the sort from romance novels.
I'd never minded. But whenever I walked with Kaian, this happened. People couldn't look away.
*It's because he's so striking and handsome,* I'd reasoned. *And he's the Lord of Rowen.*
When I walked alone, no one paid attention. But here, with him—everything changed.
The man I'd married was truly remarkable. Captivating.
*I'd heard he was quite the playboy before our marriage.*
During my time at Rowen, I'd been too occupied to think about such things, and I'd never seen him with another woman. Antjone had thrown herself at him, but Hannah had insisted it was completely one-sided.
Our marriage had been by royal order. Judging by his behavior during our early nights, he'd seemed reluctant to treat me as his wife at all. No intention of entertaining a lover.
*But I hope he doesn't meet another woman.*
Yet his attitude toward me had changed gradually since the crocodile hunt. Now we seemed like a couple who genuinely got along.
"What would you like for lunch?" he asked.
Earlier in our journey, he'd planned everything meticulously. But knowing my curiosity, he'd provided me with travel books written by explorers. During the day, I dozed against him. At night, I read about the next destinations, wondering what each held.
"This village is famous for skewered barbecue and quail wrapped in pastry," he explained. "Though I haven't decided which to eat yet."
"Can't I try both?"
He studied me. "Why worry about cost?"
"Because you're already spending so much. It feels wasteful."
Reading my hesitation, he spoke before I could voice my concerns. "Call Madame Marcel and Hannah. We'll all eat together."
Relief flooded through me at the solution. He'd arranged everything—they traveled in a separate carriage, always arriving about an hour after us to check for forgotten items.
As we walked toward a suitable restaurant, a small girl stepped into our path. In her hand was a pink zinnia with full, layered petals.
"I want to give you this," she said shyly, her simple clothes stained, a basket of flowers hanging from her arm.
I smiled and accepted the flower. "Thank you."
Kaian withdrew his money pouch. "How much?"
"I'm giving it," the girl replied, looking down at her feet, embarrassed. "Because you're pretty."
Her innocent sincerity warmed me. "Really?"
"Are you a Princess?" she asked, eyes wide.
"No. A Princess would be much prettier than me."
"Have you seen one?"
"No, though I suppose I will."
"Then what are you?"
I hesitated, uncertain how to answer. Should I say "Duchess"? "Vermont's daughter"?
"A fairy," Kaian said.
The girl's eyes widened as she turned to him. "Truly?"
"Yes. A fairy."
"Wow! I knew it!"
Kaian tied a coin into his handkerchief and wrapped it around the girl's wrist. "A fairy's gift disappears if you break your promise. Run home and show your parents."
"Yes, Fairy!" The child waved at both of us before running away, her joy infectious.
Watching her disappear into the alley, I glanced at Kaian playfully. "So you're a fairy too?"
He cleared his throat, then removed the zinnia from my hand. Since I carried an open parasol and wore no hat, he carefully tucked the flower into my braided hair. Against my red hair, it looked perfect.
"Pretending to be a fairy comes naturally to you," I teased. "Are you a Fairy King?"
"A child's imagination is precious," he replied simply.
As we continued toward the restaurant, I asked more seriously, "I thought you didn't like children."
"Why would you think that?"
"Because you value order and neatness. Children are... chaotic."
He considered this. "Children represent what God created before human civilization imposed its molds. But that's not a reason to dislike them. If there's a successor, sometimes strictness becomes necessary."
"How were your parents? Strict?"
"Both were noble and carried their duties with dignity." He guided me along the street. "My father, as head of Temnes, and my mother, a Princess who became Duchess. They didn't coddle me because I was young. They simply lived their responsibilities."
"Did that feel unfair?"
"No." His eyes held something distant. "From childhood, I understood they were faithfully bearing their burdens. They made no mistakes, solved problems calmly, and cared for the territory. I simply thought I had to do my part as well."
Even as a child, he'd understood that showing weakness wasn't an option. His parents had modeled that strength.
"So you don't actually hate children," I concluded.
---
*A child who resembled him.*
The thought struck me suddenly as we ate. A child with black hair and red eyes—beautiful, whether boy or girl. Such a child would be precious.
It was the Duchess's primary duty: providing an heir.
*What would such a child be like?*
The daydream felt dangerous. But also inevitable.
I was the Duchess now. Succession mattered.
*I would want to give him a child.*
The thought came before reality crashed down.
My face darkened.
*But I can't.*
Herzol still lived in my blood. The cure had bought me time, but not a future. No child could be born from a dying woman.
The flower in my hair suddenly felt very fragile.
---