"Now I can finally breathe."
"Ah!"
I jumped up and stretched my hand toward the man who'd leapt into the water, but when I saw Kaian surface, I sat back down trembling. Only then did Kaian notice my pale face and swim to shore.
"What's wrong?"
"You startled me."
He looked as if he had no idea why I was surprised.
"Don't you know how to swim?"
"Water is dangerous."
"It's not dangerous. People naturally float."
"Valmonde's lake is frozen. If the ice breaks and someone falls in, there's no way to save them."
As I spoke in a trembling voice, Kaian sighed.
"It's warm in Rowan and the water isn't cold. I've been playing in the water since I was very young."
"Since you were young?"
"Since I was a toddler."
"Impossible."
I laughed softly.
"Come here." Kaian held out his hand. "You come in too."
"I don't want to. It's frightening."
"It's fine. It's not scary. It's not even that deep."
"It is deep!"
The water reached Kaian's chest, which meant if I went in, I'd have to stand on my tiptoes to keep my chin above water—dangerously deep.
"When you were ill, you seemed quite bold enough to face death, yet you're a coward about this."
"Excuse me?"
The man who usually kept his eyebrows furrowed looked rather pleased today.
"Swimming. I'll teach you."
But I couldn't fall for such provocation. I shook my head.
"Should I come out and drag you in?"
"There's no need to learn."
"Why wouldn't you learn if you had the opportunity? Aren't you an idle Duchess with nothing to do anyway?"
"I'll be busier soon."
"I don't think you'll be any busier before the autumn festival ends."
As Kaian grabbed my arm, I clutched at the grass sprouting from the ground with both hands. Perhaps this bewildered him, because the man suddenly looked perplexed.
"Take off your dress."
"Even if I don't learn to swim—"
"If you insist on staying like this, you'll have to walk all the way back to the castle soaking wet, won't you?"
I felt near tears.
"Floating on the water and looking up at the sky is spectacular. Don't you want to try it?"
Kaian seemed to have decided to change his method of persuading me. He released my arm and swam to the center of the lake.
"Oh my."
The sight of the man's sleek body cutting through the water looked like a large fish. After swimming gracefully to reach a wider area, Kaian relaxed his body and lay back on the water.
"...Amazing."
Did the human body truly float on water as he'd said? Kaian lay comfortably with his arms outstretched on the calm surface that reflected the blue sky and white clouds—as if he were resting on a cloud itself.
I watched, mesmerized.
Valmonde was frozen for more than half the year, and because of the frigid water, swimming was unthinkable even during the brief summer. One didn't drown by falling into the water—rather, one lost consciousness almost instantly from hypothermia. Since the lake water flowed down from melting snow and ice on the mountains, it was so cold that my whole body would tingle from merely dipping my fingertips in.
Growing up in the North, it was natural for me to panic when I'd seen Kaian jump into the lake.
"You look curious now."
What he demonstrated with his actions rather than words had a greater effect. As my curiosity grew, I began wondering if I could really float like that.
Kaian must have noticed, because he swam back toward shore. As his arms and shoulders moved in sequence while he swam closer, he seemed like a different creature in the water—a merman or something. It made me wonder if there was a tail beneath the water instead of legs. His movements were so natural, as if it were true he'd been playing in water since very young.
"Do you feel like coming in now?"
I hesitated, then asked, "You have to hold me so I don't sink."
"Of course. Don't you trust me? I'm the one who saved your life, after all."
"You can't fool around. Otherwise, I might never go into water again."
"All right."
When Kaian answered cheerfully, I sighed and began undressing, pulling at the straps of my gown. Rowan's dresses were thin, and if they got wet, they'd cling revealingly to my body. I felt anxious as I removed it.
I undid the ties at my waist and slipped off the white dress made of light material, revealing the thin undergarments beneath. After hesitating about removing those as well, I approached the water in just my chemise.
"Sit down and soak your feet first."
I did as he instructed and put my feet in the water. To my surprise, it was pleasantly lukewarm.
"Isn't it cold?"
"No."
"The sun warms the water here. It's not freezing like in the north. It's temperate even at night."
Nevertheless, being lake water, a refreshing coolness surrounded my feet.
"Come in."
I took his outstretched hand and carefully entered the water.
"It's deep."
I could barely reach with my tiptoes, and I looked anxious as the water rose to my chin.
"I'm holding you. You won't sink at this depth."
While I hesitated, Kaian unhesitatingly pulled me away from the water's edge.
"Stop. Please stop."
"Coward."
Besides telling him not to fool around, I should have also told him not to tease me. I sighed, wondering how many times I'd be called a coward before leaving the water today.
"Lean back into the water."
"I can't."
"Relax your neck. Even if your ears go under, no water will get in them. Lie back more."
"Ugh."
"If you tense your body like that, you won't be able to float."
He supported my body as if carrying a log and continued instructing me.
"I've lived a perfectly good life without knowing how to swim."
"You're Temnes now. Not Vermont. If you can't even do this, you can't truly be called Temnes."
At those unexpected words, all the tension left my body.
*Temnes?*
When he spoke as if acknowledging me, my mind—which had been anxious—obediently followed Kaian's words. In Rowan, I wanted to belong to Temnes, not Vermont. I'd been given a name by Kaian, and I wanted to live as his wife.
Suddenly, I looked up at Kaian. I seemed to see my own pale reflection in his eyes as he looked down, supporting my body with his arms to keep me afloat. Droplets of water fell from his wet black hair and landed near my navel as I floated.
I felt a tickling sensation somewhere on my body.
"Don't turn your head."
I flinched.
"You should look at the sky. When you turn your head, your balance shifts."
I turned my gaze from peeking at Kaian to the sky instead.
"Wow."
Then I saw a sky so brilliantly blue it made my heart soar.
"How does it feel?"
"Like I'm flying in the sky."
When I gazed up at the sky while my body swayed gently in the water, it felt like I'd become part of the clouds. Like those floating clouds, I seemed to be drifting somewhere along the waterway.
"Close your eyes. It's even better then."
Kaian's tone was somewhat different from usual—perhaps because I'd listened to him and he was pleased.
I closed my eyes. Then I felt utterly peaceful, all fears dissolving. The pleasant swaying of my body and the lapping waves stirred primordial memories. Even faces gradually faded, and I was enveloped in a sense of peace I'd felt only in my mother's womb—a place I couldn't consciously remember.
The sound of water flowing. The sound of a small bird skimming the water's surface. The sound of insects chirping in the distance near the water's edge.
And Kaian—the only person I could trust and rely on.
"...Duke?"
I kept my eyes closed but grew anxious.
"Are you still holding me?"
I couldn't sense the presence of the man who'd grown quiet, letting me feel the vast world while floating in the water. Goosebumps appeared on my arms. I was afraid that when I opened my eyes, he wouldn't be beside me.
After hesitating, I opened my eyes and saw Kaian looking down at me. I let out a small sigh of relief as I floated.
"Why aren't you answering? You startled me."
It was then that Kaian slowly raised his hands from beside my shoulders.
"I'm not holding you anymore."
"What!"
I panicked and went under.
"Pah! *Cough, cough*."
Kaian caught my shoulders and waist.
"Why are you so surprised? You were doing perfectly."
"You liar! I said not to fool around."
"Ha ha ha. I never actually promised."
*When I told you not to play tricks, you said 'all right'!*
But I stopped wiping the water streaming down my face and stared blankly at Kaian.
"Haha. Ha ha ha!"
Kaian was smiling. His face, which always bore a stern expression like a statue, had softened. As this handsome man laughed aloud, it seemed as if another sun had risen brightly over the lake—a brilliant light illuminating my world.
As I stared too intently, Kaian's shoulders, which had been shaking with laughter, gradually stilled.
"Ah. You smiled."
He seemed awkward, as if it had been so long since he'd laughed. It was unexpected when I reached out toward Kaian's face—toward this man who was growing shy and clearing his throat as if trying to return to his usual cold expression.
I wanted to capture just once more what had been so dazzling, to hold it in my hands. I hadn't seen him smile once in the months since arriving at Rowan Castle, and it was such a shame it had passed in just a moment.
I asked him, "May I kiss you?"
Kaian's eyes widened slightly. I wrapped both arms around the neck of the man holding me and gently kissed him.
My heart pounded loudly like thunder.
Water droplets fell from his forehead to the tip of his nose, flowed between our lightly touching lips, warmed by our shared body heat, then pooled on his chin before returning to the lake—back to where the water had originally come from.
I released my arms. My body was still in his embrace.
*Why did I do that here?*
I wanted to run away, but I didn't know what to do since my toes couldn't touch the dangerous depths and I was still dependent on Kaian.
"You're quite bold."
"I told you I wasn't a coward."
I felt somewhat deflated. It was my first kiss. But Kaian's response was to call me bold. Something didn't seem quite right, but I couldn't figure out exactly what was wrong.
So, since things had already come to this point, why not satisfy my selfish desires?
"I want to do it one more time."
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