"You look disappointed you couldn't die."
I felt my face flush with embarrassment.
*Did he just say I look sad about surviving?* Of course I was grateful to be alive—assuming it didn't hurt.
"That's not it," I said quickly. "I'm... surprised I'm alive."
"Surprised?"
"I thought I was dead. Why am I awake?"
Kaian's patience seemed to reach its limit. He turned to Hannah. "Based on what your mistress is saying, she appears physically sound but possibly disoriented. She's talking nonsense. Go fetch the doctor."
Hannah smiled with unmistakable excitement. "Yes, my Lord."
Once she'd departed to call the butler, Kaian settled back into his chair.
"You will not die," he said flatly. "I will not permit it."
"But why?" I asked quietly. "I'm from Vermont."
His glare suggested my answer displeased him intensely.
"I cannot tolerate stains upon my legacy," he said coldly. "Do you truly believe I could live with the shame of holding my bride's funeral three months after our marriage? For the rest of my life?"
So he hadn't saved me for my sake. He'd saved me to protect his own honor.
Yet somehow, I felt... cared for.
The pain that had consumed me for so long had finally receded. My spirit felt as though it had grown wings. My body and mind felt so light, so transparent, that I couldn't think clearly. I wasn't happy exactly—the emotion was too complicated for that—but I felt moved beyond words.
"Thank you," I whispered.
"That's all I care about," he replied sharply. "Don't think you can use your illness as an excuse to languish in my castle indefinitely. You're my wife—act like it."
I nodded quickly. Surprisingly, the motion didn't trigger a coughing fit.
At that moment, Hannah, the butler, and the doctor entered the chamber.
The doctor smiled warmly when he saw me sitting upright. "Ah! You've finally regained consciousness. I was deeply concerned—you wouldn't wake for so long."
"How long was I unconscious?" I asked.
"Three days before you received the medicine, one day for it to brew, then ten days of recovery. You've been bedridden for two weeks total," the doctor explained.
Hannah interrupted. "It's been two weeks exactly."
"That long?" I was astonished.
"But your recovery since taking the medicine has been remarkable," the doctor continued enthusiastically. "The coughing stopped almost immediately, and your breathing has become much easier."
I was still trying to process this when I looked past the people surrounding me, hoping to catch Kaian's eye—but he'd already departed.
---
My recovery progressed smoothly and rapidly.
Before lunch each day, I practiced walking within my spacious bedroom. The crocodile bite had healed cleanly, leaving only delicate pink scars resembling fallen flower petals. Initially, I couldn't remove the bandages or walk properly. But after the Herzol treatment, though I'd lain unconscious for days, my strength gradually returned. Within a week, I felt no pain in my chest or legs.
"I think you can stop practicing now," Hannah suggested.
"Still," I insisted, "I need to be certain."
Hannah's eyes sparkled as she watched me walk slowly, steadily, without any limp. "That medicine was truly miraculous."
The doctor attributed the remarkable recovery to the heart of a young wild water buffalo that Kaian had obtained—apparently a powerful elixir. He spoke excitedly about how it had restored circulation to the injured area.
"The Young Lord is truly a good person," Hannah said warmly.
I looked at her in surprise. "When did you start calling him 'Lord'?"
Hannah's eyes narrowed to determined slits. "I serve Temnes now. The Duke of Vermont—what he did to you—he's now my enemy. Rowan Castle is the perfect place to work because I can pursue both personal justice and family honor." She paused, her expression softening slightly. "But compared to him... my Lord is such a remarkable person. I wish he'd come see you recover in person. He was devastated when you collapsed."
According to Hannah's account—repeated several times over the following days—Kaian had looked at me with profound affection and said urgently, "Claudel, open your eyes."
When I'd fallen, he'd placed me on the bed as though handling something infinitely precious.
"If I can't save you, who will save me?" he'd said, though Hannah admitted the context was about the medicine, not about me personally. Apparently, he'd been saying that if he couldn't obtain the cure, no one in all of Oberon could retrieve a wild buffalo heart.
But I struggled to believe the story Hannah told with such reverence. She clearly glorified Kaian now, though she'd never guessed he would save me simply to protect his own reputation. She seemed worried that her previous negative words toward him might earn harsh punishment, so I remained silent, nodding along as she spoke.
"Such medicines," Hannah said fiercely, "I don't even want to think about the Duke of Vermont anymore."
As Kaian's status had risen, Vermont's had fallen. The Duke of Vermont was now just a regular duke, not a powerful one.
Hannah gritted her teeth at the memory of my uncle, then sighed.
"Hannah," I said quietly.
"Yes?"
"I think I'm hungry."
The magic words that could make Hannah forget her anger.
"Oh! It's already that time?" She hummed cheerfully as she departed. "I'll prepare something quickly."
I watched her go, smiling. *I really can't control her.*
Though it was true—when I thought about food, genuine hunger followed.
---
My appetite had changed dramatically.
Before arriving at Rowan, I'd lost interest in eating. As my illness progressed, swallowing became painful. Food held no appeal. But now, after recovering, my stomach churned with genuine hunger at mealtimes.
"I have a beggar's stomach," I joked to myself.
Even a few spoonfuls of soup made a difference in my energy. Each meal seemed to improve my health incrementally. And I'd discovered something surprising: the food at Rowan Castle tasted far superior to what I'd eaten at Valmonde.
Of course, both were prepared in lords' kitchens, so the quality was inherently high. But something was different here. The same ingredients, prepared the same way, tasted entirely different.
I later understood why.
Valmonde occupied the frozen north, near mineral veins and ports. Yet despite its wealth, it couldn't feed its own people. Workers in mines and forests needed substantial nutrition. Our ancestors had been at war with Temnes—the kingdom's breadbasket—so we'd always depended on King Oberon's mediation for food supplies. Even when Kaian had blocked exports during the drought, we'd survived only because the King had intervened.
At Valmonde, products that arrived after two weeks of travel from warmer territories had begun to wither and spoil. But at Rowan Castle, grains, fruits, and vegetables were presented in their peak freshness. Even water with a slice of lemon tasted different.
"These days, I feel like a newborn," I joked to Hannah.
All I did was eat and sleep. Yet perhaps because I'd been starved for so long, I felt embarrassed by my obsession with food. *I live only waiting for the next meal,* I thought ruefully. It was hardly dignified for a duchess.
*But it's delicious,* I thought, unable to help myself.
---
Yesterday, something mortifying had occurred.
While eating, I'd made eye contact with Kaian—and I'd realized I'd emptied my bowl completely. According to proper etiquette, a noble lady should always leave at least half her food uneaten. My face had burned with shame.
Now, at dinner, I was determined to restrain myself. I selected only what I truly desired from the spread before me, planning to leave the rest.
"No difficulty walking?" Kaian asked as he settled across from me.
Hannah seemed to have finally given up her silent protest.
"None," I replied.
"Any other discomfort?"
"Not currently."
I hesitated. "Though I haven't attempted running yet."
"And the festival dance?"
"I'm uncertain if I can manage that," I admitted quietly.
In the Kingdom of Oberon, grand festivals were held each autumn in every territory. The Lord and his wife dancing before the people was the traditional opening ceremony—a significant event. The dance required coordinated movements, sometimes with jumping, and I wasn't sure my legs could withstand it.
He'd told me not to use illness as an excuse, but I was genuinely worried about failing such a basic duty.
"You need only practice gradually," he said with surprising gentleness. "I'll arrange for a dance instructor."
Relief flooded through me. "Thank you."
I returned my attention to my meal—and lost myself in the flavors.
"...Delicious," I murmured unconsciously, tasting the mashed potatoes, the butter melting on my tongue.
I felt his gaze suddenly upon me. When I looked up, Kaian was watching intently.
In my startled awareness, I realized I'd eaten everything I'd planned to leave behind.
My face burned with mortification. *He'll think it's ugly.*
It would have been shameful to eat this ravenously in front of other nobles.
But Kaian simply cut a piece of meat from his own plate, speared it with his fork, and extended it toward me.
"Eat."
I blinked at him, uncertain what to do.
"Why aren't you opening your mouth?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone.
---