Promise

A small teddy bear or jewelry appearing out of nowhere, new boots to wear on rainy days, a hat with silk artificial flowers, and even a jewelry set I'd never seen before that must have been new at the jewelry store.

Peppermint candy and bonbon chocolates tumbled out of his pocket, which he'd accidentally spilled from my hands.

*It looks like he was so excited he just bought everything.*

Besides, he'd had a lot of work to do this afternoon and had been stuck in his office.

"You said you were busy today, right? When did you visit the marketplace?"

He was a lord who governed his territory meticulously. Today, he'd only eaten half his lunch and risen early, saying he had too much work to do after returning from the capital.

Kaian tended to feed me things and take his time during lunch, so it was the first time since I'd married that I'd seen him so pressed for time.

"I took a short break from work."

It was only a twenty-minute horseback ride to the marketplace. If he'd bought this much, it would have taken about two hours total.

I swallowed hard.

*Surely the doctor told him right away?*

No matter how I looked at it, I wondered if the doctor hadn't kept his promise and had informed Kaian of my pregnancy. As soon as that thought occurred to me, my heart sank.

*I asked you to keep it secret.*

Simultaneously with feeling betrayed by the doctor, anxiety rose.

*He told me to have a baby—then he'd believe me. I'm so happy I'm pregnant, but what if something goes wrong?*

I felt like I couldn't breathe. Consumption wasn't the only reason to worry. Pregnancy originally had many variables. It wasn't uncommon for mothers to have problems while giving birth.

If my body—which had to carry the child for ten months—was weakened due to consumption, it was difficult to know whether I'd be able to endure the pregnancy to the end.

There was a moment when I hesitated and couldn't say what I wanted to say.

"The doctor said it may be difficult to have children due to the aftereffects of consumption."

Kaian picked up the candy and chocolate that had spilled onto the floor and put them in his pocket.

"I'm glad you found good treatment."

"Oh, yes."

I blinked.

*...Good treatment?*

Kaian sat down next to me and held my hand.

"Try to put your mind at ease. A child is a gift from God."

The doctor's visit wasn't something to be kept secret. As soon as he finished examining me, he was usually called to Kaian and had to report to him.

*Ah, I think he said I needed treatment for some kind of aftereffect.*

I roughly understood the situation. Only then did I feel relieved.

"I will try my best."

"Claudel, thank you."

When I turned my head at his sudden words, my eyes met his red eyes looking at me affectionately.

It was said that the red eyes of Temnes were created from drops of blood that fell from God's fingertips—injured while creating the continent of Ita—seeping into the ground. A human who monopolized God's impartial love.

Among past Temnes family heads, the man considered one of the most outstanding sometimes poured out his whole world to me. In this moment of looking at each other, it felt like nothing else mattered.

He still enveloped me with his warmth, and I still held him in my heart.

"I thought you were angry because I said I didn't trust you."

*...It's true I'm angry.*

Even though I said I hated Kaian, I was the one who'd truly be upset if I couldn't see him. It all felt pathetic and frustrating.

"But still, I want to have my own child. I didn't know you'd mind."

"I said I would trust you if you gave birth to a successor—if you had a baby."

I needed assurance.

"You must keep those words."

Since we were enemies, I was desperate for something that would overturn the statement that Vermonters couldn't be trusted. Only then would I be able to stay by Kaian's side for a long time.

I was disappointed, but at the same time tried to accept Kaian's words. Because even the Duke of Vermont, to whom I was indeed related by blood, hadn't been so kind to me.

*There's a limit to what you can expect from others.*

I'd hoped he was different, but in the end, he was someone else too. He didn't treat me maliciously after that—he was just as he'd said.

Because our relationship was between Vermont and Temnes, the line was drawn that it ended here. If we wanted to get past that, the only key to opening the closed door was the child we had together.

At that time, I'd thought I could never have children, so I'd been frustrated with no answer. Hope had literally soared when I'd realized the seed of life was already growing in my body.

Kaian spoke emphatically.

"I promise."

My family had disappeared in an instant. But when I gave birth to a baby, my baby would become my closest family member.

Although my baby was still an unstable being, the mere fact that I had a baby gave me strength. I wanted to protect this child in any way possible.

I wanted to raise my baby healthy and give birth well so I could hold my baby tightly, feel their warmth, and kiss my baby's cheek—just like my mother had done to me when I was very young and couldn't even remember her face.

I'd been so overcome with emotion after my confession had failed and I'd heard like a thunderbolt that I'd wanted to confirm his words. When Kaian obediently "promised," I felt relieved, as if the mental hardships I'd endured had reached some kind of destination.

As my mind was relieved, the desires I'd been holding back sadly reared their heads.

"Kaian."

I let go of his hand and stood up, sitting astride Kaian's legs. I placed my hands on Kaian's firm chest and rested my head against him.

"Hold me."

While I'd been upset and avoiding him or passively resisting him, I'd missed him all the time.

As I—unable to sleep alone due to my insomnia—had hugged the pillow tightly as if to block his advances, Kaian had lain down without saying anything about my attitude.

I'd been alone and curled up, but it had been my loss. I was the one who couldn't sleep.

In the end, after sneaking glances at Kaian and watching his breathing become even as if he'd fallen asleep, I'd laid my head on the man's shoulder and felt his strong arms with the backs of my hands while holding a pillow, which had made me feel even sadder.

He'd been the one who hugged me every day, just as I wanted, except for the day we'd gone hunting at Fromhunt.

I'd said it would make no difference whether I confessed or not, but my pride had been so hurt that I'd remained unchanged—no different from how I'd been before.

But since Kaian hadn't comforted me or apologized, it had felt like something festering inside.

Of course, I couldn't have imagined that Kaian would be happy to see me hurt and struggling, seeing it as an indicator of my sincerity.

As soon as I'd somehow gotten my hopes up, I'd found myself wanting to cling to him again—because I'd been missing his embrace so much.

However, rather than embracing me face-to-face, Kaian just looked down at me as I fidgeted in his arms, as if troubled.

"Why? Please."

"Didn't you hear from the doctor?"

"What?"

Kaian sighed as I tilted my head.

"He said you're not feeling well these days, so you need to be careful for a while while the treatment progresses."

"What should I be careful about?"

"So he told me to just hold your hand while you sleep."

I blushed at Kaian's words.

"W-what are you talking about? I just asked for a hug."

"Ah, is that all it is?"

Then Kaian held me and headed to bed, walking slower and more cautiously than usual.

*If he knew I was pregnant, he'd carry me around.*

I laughed to myself. On the other hand, I was surprised by my unexpected feelings. I hadn't known I'd be so happy to hear I wasn't "pregnant" and that I was going to try treatment—because baby talk had been the first thing that came to my mind.

*Anyway, I think the doctor spoke well.*

I felt fortunate in many ways. My nerves relaxed as if I'd been cut free from what had been bothering me for some time, as Kaian lay down next to me and held me close.

"Claudel."

I heard Kaian calling my name from above my head.

"If I have a baby... No, nothing."

"What? Why do you stop talking?"

*If you have a baby? What on earth are you going to say next?*

"Never mind."

I escaped his embrace and tried to get up. Then Kaian forcefully pulled me back into his arms and drew the blanket over me.

"Go to sleep quickly."

"You're making people curious?"

"I'll tell you when the baby is born."

I felt the urge to say that, in fact, I already had a baby.

"The doctor said it's not good for you to be stressed."

"Do you want me to forget what I just heard?"

"How?"

Even though it was dark, Kaian's features were clear. He changed his posture, slowly raising his body like a leopard, then lowered his head to me again gracefully.

Kaian placed his hand next to my shoulder and kissed my lips. I succumbed to the pleasure he gave me for the first time in a long while, like a hummingbird catching falling dew.

*Sleep well, baby.*

In his arms, I closed my eyes comfortably for the first time in a while.

Even after Claudel fell asleep, Kaian couldn't sleep.

*How can I sleep on a day like this?*

He couldn't accept her heart as it was. Having a successor was a good excuse for him. It would be a reason that even a wife from Vermont couldn't dispute and had no choice but to respect—that no one could criticize or refute.

"Claudel, I will be a faithful husband to you."

His heart belonged only to her. Could there be a more perfect love than this between Vermont and Temnes? This was the pure affection that had sprouted between enemy families.

So even if it hurt her heart, he hoped she would endure it for just a moment. If the time they spent together now was fulfilling compared to their troubled beginning, he hoped she would give just a little more strength until the day when they stood side by side and saw the distant future.

Kaian looked at the sleeping Claudel with his eyes brimming with joy.

"If I have a baby..."

He continued what he'd been saying earlier—what he couldn't say because Claudel had been curious.

"I will definitely make that child the heir of Temnes."

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