This love is like a curse (7)
From that day on, Thalia wandered around the courtyard at every opportunity. A lot of time has passed. In the place where she found the dying chick, a large elm was planted, and the once dull garden was filled with bright flowers. But she never met him.
She felt as if she had lost an accidental treasure.
Если бы тогда она просто проигнорировала няню…
Her father, who was supposed to meet her that evening, never showed up, and her mother didn’t look for her either.
Talia, surrounded by cold maids, dined on tasteless food and all the time regretted one thing - that she did not follow that boy. Somehow it seemed that if she had asked him, he would have feigned reluctant compliance and taken her with him.
Lying under the cold blanket, she yearned more and more for his big warm hands that held her so tightly.
What if he was just an illusion created by her loneliness?
Just as Talia was beginning to doubt his existence, he appeared before her again. No... it would be more correct to say that she found him.
The season changed, Talia turned nine, and now, instead of raindrops, scorching rays of the sun fell from the sky.
As she walked down the long corridor leading to the emperor's private chambers, loud screams caught her attention. She turned her head towards the large arched window. On the parade ground flooded with summer light, apprentice knights in black surcoats [1] waved wooden swords.
There were almost three dozen of them, but Thalia’s gaze, like a moth drawn to a flame, immediately rushed to him.
His bleached flaxen hair sparkled silver in the sun. It was the first time she had seen him without a hood, but she still recognized him at first sight. The same boy who appeared in the cold spring rain.
Thalia leaned towards the windowsill to get a better look at him.
He stood out among other students for his impeccable technique. His long, flexible limbs cut through the air with grace and strength.
- Do you know who he is? - she asked the old servant who accompanied her to the emperor.
He glanced lazily towards the window:
“These are knight students preparing to join the imperial guard.” All of them are scions of noble families.
He didn't even try to understand who exactly interested her.
Noticing that she was hesitating, the servant said with obvious disapproval:
- His Majesty is waiting. Let's go quickly.
Reluctantly moving away from the window, Thalia headed down the tomb-silent corridor. For the first time in several months since her arrival at the imperial palace, she was supposed to meet her father, but this did not evoke any special feelings in her.
Even when she first saw the emperor visiting the Talen house, she did not feel that it was her father.
The sullen man showed no interest in her, and Thalia hated the man who took her mother's love away from her.
This did not change even after she was officially added to the imperial family's bloodline.
Entering the spacious, luxurious room, Talia looked warily at the massive figure standing with his back to the light.
How much time passed in silence? The man, sitting at a huge table, as if behind a stone wall, finally spoke, without raising his gaze from the parchment:
“From this day on, you must study the etiquette of the imperial house.”
He stamped the document.
Thalia waited for him to raise his head and look at her. But this did not happen - even after a long time, his gaze did not touch her.
She couldn't understand it. How could a man who loved Senevier so passionately treat a daughter who looked exactly like her with such indifference?
He wrote something with a pen, without showing the slightest emotion, and continued to speak:
- I invited the best teachers for you. From this day on, you must come to the palace at noon and study. You will have to work hard to catch up.
Похоже, ответа от неё никто не ждал. He waved his hand casually, signaling that the conversation was over. Thus ended their first meeting in a year.
Thalia wandered back, desperately looking out the window for a familiar figure along the way. But it seems that the training has already ended, and only the blinding light of the summer sun remains on the empty parade ground.
From that day on, every time she went to class, she secretly watched his training.
She loved how, from intense training, beads of sweat appeared on his marble face, and his pale cheeks were covered with a light blush.
Sometimes she even mentally talked to him.
“Listen...what happened to that bird? Is she still dead? Did you bury her somewhere? Or did he let her go far, far away when she got stronger?”
Like that day when they got wet in the rain together, she wanted to come closer, look into his eyes and talk. Make sure that the silver crown still shimmers in his gaze.
And when this desire became almost unbearable... Putting the history lesson on the backburner, Thalia lazily watched the training ground until a thick shadow appeared behind her.
She shuddered and turned around. In front of her, on the border of light and shadow, stood her mother, who had not appeared for two weeks.
Once upon a time, she saw this face every day. At that moment, Thalia felt as if her heart had stopped for a moment.
Seneviere, dressed with the impeccable elegance worthy of the title of empress, looked as if she embodied every imaginable idea of beauty. Even the elven magicians who often visited the Talen house did not dare to compare with her.
-What are you looking at there? - Senevier asked, looking down at her daughter.
Waking up from her daze, Thalia hastily retreated from the window. For some reason, she didn't want to talk about that boy.
But Senevier seemed to understand everything right away. She turned to the window and looked down at the tall, fair-haired boy with a mysterious smile.
- Son of Duke Siekana.
Thalia looked at her in amazement. She herself guessed that he most likely came from a noble family, but she did not expect that from such a powerful one.
The empress's deep blue eyes flashed with slyness, as if she were reading her daughter's thoughts.
- Do you want it?
Talia blushed and couldn't say a word.
Looking at her face, Senevier understood everything without words. She laughed as if she thought it was funny and leaned over to kiss her daughter on the cheek.
- If you want, I can give it to you.
Her whisper sounded eerie, like the night wind in a dark forest. Straightening up, Senevier curved her scarlet lips into a smile.
- But not for nothing. To receive a reward, you need to please your parents.
Catching a slight note of reproach in her voice, Talia hastily clutched the history book thrown on the windowsill to her chest. Then she turned around and ran away, feeling Senevier’s gaze following her like a sticky web.
This was her mother, the one she missed every night. Why did she want to run away from her now?
Talia thought that when she saw Senevier, she would make a scandal for her. She wanted to scream that she hated classes. I wanted to throw out all the accumulated anger: why aren’t you around, why did you leave me?
But now that Senevier became the empress, she no longer looked like her own mother. She became alien, frightening, as if she had turned into someone else. And Thalia didn't dare show her emotions.
That night she tossed and turned for a long time without sleep.
Even in the Talen house, Thalia was unhappy. But Senevier was nearby - not just a mother, but rather a friend, almost an ally. Even if everyone in the world pointed the finger at them, together they could bear any ridicule.
Now Senevier has ascended as an empress, and Thalia is left alone, in foreign walls among strangers.
Loneliness pierced to the bones. More than ever, she wanted someone to be nearby... someone who would just hug her and look at her with warmth. For this she was ready to give everything she had.
So Talia decided to meet the boy whom she had only watched from afar.
Note:
1. A surcoat is a medieval sleeveless outerwear worn over armor. Usually made of thick fabric, sometimes with the coat of arms of the owner. Served for protection from sun/rain and identification in battle.