# Chapter 45
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Episode 45
Late at night, when the owls cry.
The hour hand of the clock was about to point to 12.
Anita, who was dozing sitting on the sofa, suddenly came to her senses when she felt a chill on her cheek.
I was so surprised that I almost didn't jump out of my chair.
She gasped and instinctively turned her head.
Lancelot was sitting next to me.
"...uh?"
"For some reason, my head didn't fall.
"Stop dozing off and go upstairs."
Lancelot, who had just arrived at the room, was sitting without even taking off his tie.
Anita, who couldn't fully wake up, looked at him with slightly dazed eyes.
Lancelot tilted his head slightly and looked at her face, perhaps because it was something new to him.
The right arm slightly fallen over the back of the sofa, the two long legs stretched out under the table, the upper part of the body facing it, and the left hand...
.
'Ah.
'You're supporting my chin.'
what? chin?
His eyes widened and he pulled his face back.
Then an awkwardly extended palm appeared before my eyes.
Lancelot's eyes turned to his hand, which had lost its function.
"No, I..." .
Because I haven't read the book yet.
"Read everything and sleep."
He came to the room tonight.
'If I keep sleeping out in the open, people will think it's weird.'
It had been almost a week since Lancelot returned to his room.
I know he worked hard for a week to strengthen his relationship with the nobles and be considerate of Anita.
So, I thought I should let Lancelo sleep in bed today.
"Go up."
"Even if you read everything and sleep."
"Do you want me to carry you or do you want to go on your own two feet?"
However, Lancelot's response was that he would let Anita sleep in his bed even if he died.
'If I go up, Lancelot will have to sleep on the couch...
.'
He came home after staying up all night for almost a week and fell into a deep sleep while Anita was out of the room.
You could tell, just by looking at Lancelot's complexion, which seemed more decadent than usual, how heavy the fatigue must be.
"Anitta."
Oh, or would you rather sleep in bed with Lancelot?
— But he might be uncomfortable.
"Forcing yourself to lie down on something uncomfortable is tiring in its own way."
After all, I have to sleep on the couch...
But sweet Lancelot wouldn't let me sleep on the couch...
.
"Can I move it?"
Anita cried for a moment.
I couldn't help but feel very sad for Lancelot, who didn't know his own speed and only encouraged people.
"Can't I just read it all and go to sleep?
Just...
Lancelot, you just need to sleep first...
There's not much left...
."
So please go to bed first!
There was a short silence.
Lancelot, who was very insistent, lowered his head.
"Why are you crying?"
Anita cried once more.
I felt guilty and grateful and sad all at the same time, so my eyes got a little wet, but I never, ever cried.
"I'm not crying...
."
"You're crying."
"I said I don't cry."
"It's not like that."
I focused my eyes and looked at him.
Look, why am I crying?
Lancelot, who was looking with his chin propped up as if he was observing, asked vaguely.
"Do you really hate lying in the same bed as me?"
No, that cannot be possible.
I wanted to ask him if he didn't like Lancelot.
But than Anita could muster the courage to open her mouth, her body rose into the air much faster.
"Ah, Lancelot! wait a second... leave...
."
"Hold me silent.
It's a punishment.
"No matter what happens, it's not like I don't want to cry."
I felt dizzy.
It wasn't that I was dizzy from being lifted into the air, but the fact that I was being held by him made me dizzy.
Lancelot's body was solid.
His chest touching my shoulder, his arms firmly supporting my legs and back, and his body odor wafting like I'd opened a window.
It was solid and sturdy, with nothing missing.
"I'm not going to lie next to you tonight or anytime, so sleep in peace."
Finally, the moment Anita's body sat on the bed.
There was a conversation from the past running through my mind.
[I think it would be better if the room was a little further away.]
[What do you mean?]
[I thought this could be a way for us to respect each other more.]
[If you want.]
Could it be that Lancelot is misunderstanding the conversation at that moment?
'He might think I don't like sleeping with him.'
Looking back, it was a very one-sided offer.
Aren't you afraid to say the word government and immediately ask for more rooms?
'But unless I misunderstand...
.'
If I act presumptuous and get Lancelot to tell me not to fool myself, I...
.
Anita, who was confused, ended up calling Lancelot.
"Lancelus."
He was standing by the window, undoing his tie, and looked at Anita.
"I'll tell you just in case.
I didn't cry because I hated lying with you.
What can you do with that childish whining?
I just… ."
Hmm.
I was afraid the atmosphere would become too heavy, so I cleared my throat briefly and continued speaking.
"It's just that I was so nervous about lying in the same bed.
Really."
Lancelot turned his head again and looked out the window.
Did you understand the meaning of what I said?
Just as I became worried, he opened his lips.
"I heard that Bimarck Paolupna came looking for you during the day."
It was truly sudden and surprising news.
"Brother Bimarck?"
"OK."
"Oh my God, we're with Hicksen.
Is it because of Her Majesty's birthday?
But I didn't see you at the ball...
"Did you hear anything else?"
Was it because it was the first time I had heard Bimarck's story since my father's disappearance?
Anita's voice brightened visibly.
On the contrary, Lancelot's mood didn't seem so good.
"Should I listen?"
“That’s not it… You must be really worried about me.
"Because my father suddenly disappeared and I also got married suddenly."
Bimarck was only informed of the news of his father's disappearance.
There was only one reason not to announce the wedding news.
This is because even Anita herself did not believe in marrying Lancelot before her wedding day.
The day the letter was sent was just before the wedding, so considering the time period in which Bimarck arrived in Hicksen, it was somewhat accurate to assume that he came as soon as he received the letter.
"I haven't seen you in almost a year.
You weren't hurt anywhere, right?
"I don't know if he's taller."
Is it because you heard news from Bimarck?
I miss him a lot.
Bimarck, who was now the only child in the Paolufna family, was like brother and sister from then on.
Although the only long days they could see were summer vacations, when Bimarck returned from the school dormitory, the two got along without any problems.
For her, who lived a solitary life except in winter, when she met Lancelot and Claunia, Bimarck was her friend, teacher and family.
Because of this, it could have been even more difficult to convey the wedding news.
I thought I was causing him unnecessary worry.
"I really want to meet up and talk sometime.
Have you heard where Bimarck is staying?"
Lancelot, who had been listening silently, unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and spoke in a low voice.
"My wife is extremely indifferent.
"It wasn't enough to mention another man in front of my husband, so I even casually said that I wanted to see him."
For a moment, Anita wondered if her ears were wrong.
Wife husband...
No, I'm not ruminating.
She jumped out of bed and approached Lancelot.
"What are you talking about?
Brother Bimarck is family, Lancelot.
You know, my brother lost his parents and received support from my father...
."
Lancelot calmly looked at the white hand holding his arm and then lowered his hand to undo the third button.
It was only when Anita approached him that he seemed to realize he was in the same room as her.
"Are you offended that I talked about another guy?"
"no."
"So what are you so upset about?
Because I don't want to go to bed?
"It's because I'm nervous."
"Do I look upset?"
"huh."
Lancelot looked at Anita with a strange expression.
I looked at his face closely, intending to scan his brain, and then I blurted out one word.
"Sometimes it's very frustrating not being able to look inside your head."
That's what she said.
"hmm.
"I'm curious how offended you sound?"
"...And you often seem to look inside my head.
"No chance.
Reading your thoughts is the hardest thing in the world for me.
That's just...
."
What should I say?
'just...
— I guess you'll know it when you see it.