She still didn't know why she couldn't return the ring in the end. If she was going to leave anything, she should have left the money. Why keep something she couldn't even sell, clinging to it like a lingering regret?
But Tilia knew that even if she went back in time, she still couldn't bring him back.
In fact, several times she put the ring in an envelope and walked to the post office. One day she even went so far as to put a stamp on it and give it away.
But in the end, Tilia was unable to send the ring. She begged the postal worker to cancel the delivery and returned it.
It seemed as if some instinct was warning her. That if she sent even that, her connection with him would be completely severed. That she would have nothing left to remember him.
Resigned to this, Tilia threaded the ring through a thin chain and placed it around her neck as a necklace.
“Does he remember? That one day he gave it to me.”
Absentmindedly tracing the outline of the butterfly resting on her chest with her hand, Tilia remembered the man she had seen today.
The Ilex Davenport she saw felt like a man who didn't know what flaws were. The slight worry or instability he exuded during his academy days was now completely gone.
The man he became, bearing such a high title, seemed an unshakable rock that could not be shaken, no matter how hard she tried to shake him. Like a wall too high to climb.
“Even if I return it now... you won’t accept it, right?”
With a slight sadness on her face, Tilia removed her hand from the butterfly ring.
In fact, she had so much to say. Accepting that he would never be involved with her again, that their nights at the academy were nothing more than a fleeting first love that would never return, she went over and over in her head the things she could say to him, as if pouring disinfectant into a wound.
The words she had been preparing for so long were painfully predictable: Thank you. I'm sorry. And... thanks to you, I was able to survive.
But when she finally saw him again, she couldn't say any of those words. All she said was a perfunctory greeting: “It was nice to see you.”
That's what hurt her the most. She wanted to say these words. She really wanted to tell him this. She wanted to end this love beautifully.
“Who am I to think like that?”
Muttering a self-deprecating phrase that she promised herself she would never say again, Tilia looked at the sunset fading in the distance.
Whether she was in pain or not, the sky continued to do its business, just as flowers bloomed and withered.
The indifference of nature, which once made her feel unbearably lonely, today strangely calmed her.
The sun will set and rise again. Spring will end and winter will come. Nothing can defy time, so even this sadness and sorrow will eventually dissipate like dust.
As Tilia watched the sun set on the horizon, she made another impulsive decision.
She will eat ice cream. A mouth-numbing sweet cone topped with all sorts of sweet toppings.
Although there were no luxurious buildings or large department stores like in the city center, there was still a modest area where small shops were located.
At the edge of this square, where an old fountain gurgled, there was a sweet shop that Tilia often visited. Well, not really a candy store, but rather a small general store that sold snacks and newspapers.
The important thing was that she really liked the ice cream there.
It was a hard day. She deserved this little indulgence.
Tilly's mouth watered at the thought of the slightly overpriced treat and she swallowed hard.
Today I will ask you to put all the toppings on it. I'll eat two, no, three balls.
With greedy determination, her shoes turned not towards the house, but towards the square. Her steps were confident, like those of a general going to war.
***
The street with many shops was located near the stagecoach stop.
Walking with determined haste, she quickly reached the square, where the usual cheerful noise reigned.
The playful cries of children following their mothers to the market. The laughter of women chatting loudly and quietly. The animated voices of traders starting their evening sales.
Among all these sounds that were ringing in her ears, but, oddly enough, gave her a feeling of relief, he appeared.
The man who made her miserable all day is Ilex Davenport.
Tilia stood frozen, looking at the man, who seemed to be shining as if out of place, as if he had been cut out of another painting and inserted into this one.
Why is Ilex Davenport here? He should be in the palace. In an expensive department store in the city center. Not in this seedy part of town where she lives.
An unusually large sun was setting in the sky. In its bright light, even transparent drops of water seemed like pearls of orange juice.
In a world painted entirely scarlet, a man sat with his back to a small fountain from which dark orange water flowed.
Among the countless people filling the square with noise, he alone stood out.
Even the bench he was sitting on and the fountain had disappeared. Even the sunset that illuminated it faded. Only he remained.
The only man who played with Tilia's heart all day.
Tilia had lost both direction and purpose. She just stood there, staring at him.
Even the fleeting question of why he was there disappeared in his presence. The sight before her eyes was like a painting where everything else was blurred so that only he was in focus.
Am I the only one who sees this? Does he appear with this all-consuming presence only in my eyes?
But this question did not need to be asked.
She didn't even have to turn her head. It was enough to just shift your gaze slightly.
Everyone around Ilex Davenport was looking at him.
Even housewives shopping and children holding their hands glanced at him. Where did this nobleman come from? It was obvious that they were curious to see this noble man, but they did not dare to speak to him, in awe of his majestic behavior.
What should I do? Should I talk to him or...
At that moment, Tilia hesitated, unable to make a quick decision due to the attention she would attract as soon as she approached...
At that moment, the man, who had been sitting there with indifference and seemed to show no interest in anything around him, looked at his watch and began to look around, as if looking for something.
His gaze flickered lightly to the far side of the square, then slowly turned to where she stood. And just like in that corridor today, their eyes met.
The moment their eyes met, she knew. That all the attention she was worried about was just unfounded fear.
The moment their gazes met, when he looked straight at her, all the surrounding gazes disappeared, as if they had been sucked into a whirlpool.
She could only see him slowly getting up when he noticed her. Everything else disappeared, as if erased with an eraser, leaving only him.
Elegantly, but with some urgency, like when she went for ice cream, he approached her.
There was no greeting. He just looked at her silently. Tilia also just looked at him. At the sight of the scarlet sky unfolding above his beautiful face.
Suddenly a feeling of danger came over her.
This man is still too dangerous. It shines too bright. He won't be mine. He will not return to my arms, and yet he is so beautiful...
While Tilia looked at that stunning face with a faint feeling of despair...
Ilex's elegant face tilted slightly.
- Do you live in a good place?
…What?
It took her a while to realize it was an injection.
As she stared at him blankly, a crease slowly formed between her eyebrows. Reality returned and the surrounding noise reached her ears again.
- Good security, wonderful neighbors.
-……
- Do you like tall buildings? If I had known, I would have bought you the highest.
It was only after hearing his sarcastic words that Tilia realized that he was mocking her for not living in the house he rented her, and mocking her with all his might.
There was a deep furrow between his eyebrows. Although he seemed to want to hide his growing anger, it spread across his face like water from cracked porcelain.
Seeing this gloomy face, she, to her own surprise, laughed as if from a spark.
...Laughter? Now? The man in front of her had an expression that said he couldn't believe it. But Tilia couldn't help the laughter that escaped her lips.
For the first time today, he felt like someone she knew. A strange comfort blossomed in the depths of her heart from the familiar feeling.
She thought that he had changed so much that she could no longer find any trace of the past in him.
But seeing how nervous he was, she realized that this was not entirely true.
In that sullen face she could see the boy he had once been.
The one who couldn't hide his feelings. Who was always immersed in subtle anxiety and worry. Who suffered from feverish love.
Of course, he was probably different now.
But Tilia, who had discovered traces, however faint, of the man who had once loved her so much, sighed quietly and stopped laughing.
Ilex, who had been silently studying her as if trying to understand her intentions, frowned even deeper.
- Even if you laugh like that, it’s not...
- Do you want ice cream?
Words overtook thoughts, as did the laughter that had come earlier.