On the top floor of the mansion, lying in her bed, Tilia sighed quietly, looking at the ceiling.
The old wallpaper was worn, showing the years it had been through. In the corners that had been somehow removed, there were traces of cobwebs that were not completely removed.
"Ugh, my head hurts."
Tilia slowly turned onto her side, feeling pain where her father had hit her.
The narrow old bed creaked beneath her, making a sound as if protesting in pain greater than herself.
And along with this rusty sound, her mother’s voice rang out like a ghost.
“Tilia, being smart is not a sin. Show them what a blessing it can be.”
"No no! Forget everything! Drop everything and just look in the mirror! You still have nothing to choose for yourself!”
A scream that was neither laughter nor tears echoed deafeningly in her ears.
Shutting her eyes tightly, Tilia thought about her mother, who must be wandering around the mansion like a ghost.
Evelyn Palmer.
Her mother's maiden name is Palmer.
She was the third daughter of the wealthy Earl Palmer family and was said to be so beautiful that she could make anyone turn their head at least once.
But that was not all. Despite public views that were even more conservative than today, she graduated from the Royal Academy of Acansis as a brilliant student.
Evelyn Palmer only wanted one future, one that shone brightly.
Living as herself, like "Evelyn", proving her worth, and not just being someone's wife like other women.
It was during this time that Akansis had a queen ruling instead of a king for the first time, and many reforms were being introduced.
Queen Fidelia wanted women to work not only in the palace, but also in the administration, and she actually pushed through this bill.
Evelyn believed that this was an opportunity created for her. The path that God opened for her talents.
But on the day she told her family that she intended to apply for a position in the central government, Evelyn learned the truth.
Her father, who was most proud of her for graduating from the academy, educated her only to sell her on more favorable terms.
When Evelyn Palmer learned that she was to marry a marquess from the border, she came up with a plan.
She decided to marry the man who courted her so persistently, who so passionately confessed his love to her.
Evelyn naively believed that, although he was poor, she could live a life worthy of respect if she married a man who loved her. She believed that she could live a happy life as Evelyn, and not the suffocating life of the wife of the Marquis.
But, as everyone knows, this was a fallacy.
The day after she secretly ran away to the temple to get married, Evelin understood.
Baron Bradley Ambrose was not going to respect her, and he never loved her.
When Bradley revealed his true nature, he mercilessly trampled Evelyn.
He wanted Evelyn to live as Baroness Ambrose, to exist as his property, as a trophy that he claimed.
Working in the kingdom was out of the question.
Soon after, Evelyn's family, tired of their daughter's reckless marriage and constant demands for money from her husband, finally broke all ties.
When the Earl's family stopped giving money, Bradley's contempt became even more pronounced.
And while she gave birth to his son, and then a daughter, Evelyn gradually lost her mind.
The reason Tilia knew her mother's story so well was because she had been a significant influence on her as a child.
From seven to ten years old, Tilia actually lived in her mother’s office, learning about the world through Evelyn.
From learning to read letters to interpreting texts, from developing a clear point of view to expressing it.
And in the end she learned how all these carefully constructed aspects of personality could fall apart.
Muttering her mother's name, Tilia unconsciously remembered the last moments of her life.
A vivid image of her bloody body, as if abandoned at the bottom of the stairs, filled her mind.
Phew.
Tilia felt a sharp sensation as if something was rising in her throat.
She stood up, covering her mouth with her hand, and quickly ran to the bathroom.
Since she had not eaten anything, all that came out of her mouth was a bitter liquid.
She vomited this cloudy liquid until her stomach was empty and silently prayed in her heart.
So that there is no such thing as a soul.
Hoping that her mother would not be tied to this place even after death.
It took some time for the nausea to subside.
Tilia staggered in her chair with a stunned expression on her face.
Was it because she remembered her mother's corpse so vividly? Or is it because she was hit on the head so hard? The pulsation in my temple was unbearable.
"…Everything is fine."
Tilia sat with her legs drawn up on the hard chair, her arms wrapped around her knees, as if trying to calm herself down. She muttered something out of habit.
This is not real life. My real life has not yet begun.
She clenched her knees tighter.
Closing her eyes tightly, Tilia imagined herself in Ontario.
As she imagined living in a place where no one knew her, where no one knew her past, she felt the nausea gradually subside.
Exhaling slowly, Tilia raised her head.
With tired eyes, she noticed something that wasn't there before.
"Again".
It seems that the inattentive maid entered again without permission and left her a letter.
Tilia sighed and reached for the letter.
The red seal featured the Wells family coat of arms.
***
- Tilia, thank you for coming!
Judy, wearing a colorful dress instead of her dull school uniform, greeted her friend warmly with her arms spread wide. She then furrowed her brows apologetically.
- Sorry. I invited you too hastily, didn't I? I originally wanted to meet next week, but mom insisted on seeing you as soon as possible.
Judy hugged her friend's petite body tightly, grateful that she had come despite the sudden invitation.
- No, I still had nothing to do.
Releasing her friend, Judy carefully studied Tilia's face, who answered calmly.
Was it just her imagination? Or did something really happen? Her complexion seemed paler than before.
In fact, Judy noticed this.
That the family doesn't treat her friend very well.
Despite her ignorance, Judy shared a room with Tilia for four years.
Tilia, who was indifferent to everything, never showed it, but Judy could tell by her extreme reluctance to talk about her family and by the bruises that only appeared at the beginning of each semester, as if someone had beaten her.
But Judy couldn't bring up what Tilia chose not to share. All she could do was invite her friend to her house as often as possible so that they could spend more time together.
- Hearing that you were coming after such a long break, the chef was very happy. He's been so busy since dawn! You may have to roll back home.
Hearing this, Tilia smiled as if in irritation.
Judy was so happy to see that smile that she acted more playful than usual as they walked down the hallway to the living room together.
- Welcome, Tilia.
When the door to the living room opened, Tilia was greeted with a smile by a lady whose elegant attire matched the interior.
Tilia bowed slightly, bending her knees.
- It's been a long time, Countess Wells.
- Oh, don't be so formal.
Grace Wells, Judy's mother, rose gracefully from her seat and walked over to Tilia.
- My God, Tilia, every time I see you, you become more and more graceful. I wish Judy was a little like you. I don't know what to do with this brat.
- What did I do! What have I done!?
Grace ignored her daughter, who puffed out her cheeks playfully as she held Tilia's hands, studying her face with concern.
- Why are your hands so cold? Are you feeling bad?
- They are always a little cold.
- Let's go have some warm tea. Are you sure you feel okay?
Grace continued to rub Tilia's cold hands and then sat her down next to her.
- It's a pity, but it looks like there will only be four of us at dinner today. I was informed that due to prolonged knightly duties, the rest of the family would not be able to join us.
- Four is enough.
Grace looked warmly at Tilia, who sat with a slightly awkward expression.
The Countess's eyes were sincere. She truly felt gratitude towards her daughter's only friend.
Maybe it's because she spoiled her youngest daughter, who was born after three sons, too much?
Judy was overly timid and shy. She was so withdrawn that she had almost no friends, and due to her poor health, she often experienced sleep paralysis at night.
On the first day that Judy insisted on leaving for the academy, Grace was so worried that she cried.
Since Tilia became Judy's friend, Grace could sleep peacefully even on the last night of the holidays.
Judy became so cheerful and cheerful after she became friends with this girl.
When Grace thought about this, she wanted to gift her daughter's priceless friend with dresses and jewelry.
But she knew that Tilia, who felt easily burdened, would not accept such gifts.
So all Grace could do was give her a little help, and when she spoke again, her voice was full of worry.
- You seem to have lost a little weight. Are you eating well?
- Yes. I had a hearty breakfast.
- Oh, God. You'll still have to eat a lot today. The chef heard you were coming and prepared to set the table. Better to give up any hope of returning on foot today.
Hearing Grace say the same thing as her daughter, Tilia couldn't help but forget about her awkwardness and laughed.