To be honest, so far, I'm not sure.
You must have experienced love to know what it is.
I don't understand friendship because I don't have friends, so love is a more difficult emotion for me.
He was like a child who could not properly identify his feelings in relationships with others.
Interacting and forming relationships with people was a big challenge for him.
That's why he wanted to meet her in person and confirm.
Was this really the love for the opposite sex that others talked about.
What does it mean to like someone?
Whenever he thought of Mrs.
Lintray, he felt a painful tickle in his chest.
He wanted to see her, he missed her, he wanted to talk to her face to face... he wanted to connect with her.
But it seems it is too late.
Lady Lentray had disappeared, leaving only mystery behind her, and Damian had no way of finding her.
He replied with a bitter smile,
“I couldn't confirm it even if I wanted to.”
"Who is she?
Why can't you confirm it?"
"Because I can't meet her."
At his short answer, Liliana stared at him with a curious expression.
He hesitated for a moment, then lowered his eyes.
"I told you I mistook you for someone when I first saw you, didn't I?"
“Oh, right.
Her name was Lin… Lin….”
"Lentray."
"Ah!
That's right!
I think that was her name!"
As Liliana remembered, Damian was speaking as if he were telling an old tale.
“There was a woman I exchanged letters with during my military service.
I don't know her face, and I don't even know her real name.
She was sending letters under the name 'Lentray', but then I started to think it might be an alias.
I knew she lived in Edenvalen, but now I'm not even sure that's true.”
"Why?
If you had her address, you could have gone to see her."
“I did, but she wasn't there.”
“You weren't there?”
Liliana frowned, and Damian let out a wry smile.
"When I went there, the house at the address was completely burned down, and no one knew where the people who were living there were.
It's not even clear if they were alive or dead...
So I tried to find out, but there was nothing I could do, so I got nowhere."
Damian mumbled, almost like a sigh.
“I just hope you're alive...”
After that, Damian fell silent, lost in thought.
Liliana felt that he was more depressed than usual, so she raised her eyes and asked,
“But how can you confuse me with her if you don’t even know her name or her face?”
“I sprayed perfume on a letter once, and it was the same perfume you were wearing.”
"Just because of that?"
"Yes, that was stupid of me."
“Hmm...”
Liliana hummed, some flower petals tangling in her hair.
Damien finally noticed that the flower petals were falling like rain.
The scene was very picturesque, and he belatedly understood why Liliana wanted to walk along the riverbank.
Damian reached out to remove the petals from her hair, and Liliana simply watched without any sense of caution.
Damien carefully picked the colorful petals one by one, making sure not to pull her hair.
“But it's not just that, Liliana.
There are many times when I feel like I'm in the company of Lady Lentray.
You two have a lot in common.”
"like what?".
Well... you're about the same age, your handwriting is similar, your way of speaking is similar...
Damian gently wiped his fingers, and the petals he removed flew in the wind.
"Many things...more than you think, Liliana."
Damian's eyes were not looking at Liliana as he sighed and let his words fade into the wind.
Liliana felt some pain and frowned.
"But I'm not her.
I don't even know what Eidenfallen is."
"That's exactly the problem."
At that moment, a group of ducks crossed the walkway, forcing Damian and Liliana to stop and wait.
There was a short silence, but it didn't last long as Damian spoke quickly.
“At first, it was just a hobby.
It was a correspondence exchange between friends that the army conducted for fun, and I didn’t want to get too involved.
But when I heard that she would think I was dead if I didn’t respond, I couldn’t not respond.
I didn’t want to disappoint her, even though I didn’t know who she was.”
Damian felt his throat dry from talking so much, so he took a sip of his juice.
"So we exchanged letters a lot.
It was mostly just idle gossip, but before I knew it, I found myself looking forward to Mrs.
Lentrae's letters.
Exchanging letters with her became the only pleasure in my hard military life.
But at the same time, I was afraid.
I didn't want to worry her because I was always on the battlefield.
So I cowardly ran away.
I stopped answering her letters at some point.
I thought Mrs.
Lentrae would give up that way and stop sending me letters."
Damian closed his eyes tightly, then opened them again, remembering his foolish past.
"But I was wrong.
She kept sending messages.
But I ignored them and didn't read them, so I don't know what she wrote.
Maybe she was scolding me for not responding.
Maybe she felt hurt by my actions.
But at the time, I thought this was for the best."
Damian's gray-blue eyes were deep in thought.
After a moment of silence, he looked at Liliana and asked her:
“Do you know what was the first thing I thought of when the bomb exploded in front of me?”
Liliana shook her head slowly.
"Those were the words 'Don't die in battle' from Mrs.
Lintray's letter.
That was the first time I didn't want to die."
He smiled wryly and continued.
"I don't know if I'm alive because of that letter, but I think I might have died if it weren't for Mrs.
Lentrae.
Then I wanted to meet her.
It's funny, isn't it?
Only after I almost died did I regret my actions and wanted to see her...so I went to see her as soon as I got out of the hospital.
But like I said, I couldn't meet her."
Damian's face darkened, he didn't notice it, but Liliana saw the sadness in his expression.
"It doesn't matter if my feelings aren't what people call love.
I don't care what my feelings are.
The important thing is that I want to see them now."
“What do you want to do when you meet her?”
When Liliana asked, Damian looked at her and smiled awkwardly.
"I don't know.
What do I want to do?
What should I do after I understand what my feelings are?
Does it make sense to search for them?"
"..."
Liliana tilted her head towards Damian with a warm smile, her beautiful golden hair falling to the floor.
In contrast to Damian's somber tone, she spoke calmly.
"Don't worry about it, Damian.
There are many times when you don't need a reason or something you want to do to meet someone.
And from what I see, you seem to already like her a lot, no matter what kind of feeling it is.
If I were you, I would want to find her too.
It's natural."
"I don't understand what you mean".
"You said you wanted to meet her, didn't you?
Then just wanting to see her is reason enough.
You don't have to decide what to do.
Whether it's love or friendship, wanting to see someone dear to you is a completely natural feeling, Damian."
"I don't understand yet."
"Well, you're still young, Damian.
You'll understand what I mean one day."
"...Liliana, there's something I wanted to point out."
"What is this?".
“I don't want to hear this from someone with a mental age of 20, with two years of missing memories.”
"You!".
Liliana shouted, and Damian, who looked rather lonely, smiled jokingly.